An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman

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An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman is a popular form of joke in the United Kingdom. The nationalities involved may vary, though they are most usually restricted to those within the British Isles and the number of people involved is usually three or four. This style of joke is also told with the countries switched (e.g., an Australian, an American, and an Irishman).

The jokes are popular in Ireland, where the characters are called Paddy Englishman, Paddy Scotsman and Paddy Irishman. The punchline is usually spoken by the Irishman.

Such jokes are also told in other countries, for example in The Netherlands where the joke is usually presented as "A Dutchman, a German and a Belgian..." Then the punchline is provided by the Belgian (if it concerns stupidity) or the German (when it concerns arrogance).

The jokes are sometimes retold as being about a redhead, a brunette and a blonde, or a priest, a minister and a rabbi.

[edit] Form

The joke begins "An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman..." (or whichever nationality is relevant to that particular variation) and then places the three characters in a scenario. How each person in the joke reacts to the scenario is then explained, the final reaction being the punch line, playing up to the stereotype of that nationality. Generally speaking in Ireland the Englishman is the butt of the joke, whereas in Scotland and England it is the Irishman.

In Latin America, a similar kind of joke often involves a Colombian, due to their costeño dialect, which is perceived by many other Spanish-speakers to be comical. At the end of the joke, the Colombian makes a reference to the paisan or costeño references.

[edit] Examples

• An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman find a wizard on the top of a tall cliff. The wizard orders them to jump off the cliff, but he also promises that if they say anything while falling, they will get it at the bottom of the cliff. So first, the Irishman jumps off the cliff and shouts, "Pillows!" and so he lands on some pillows. Then the Scotsman jumps off the cliff, and he shouts, "Hay!" and so he lands on some hay. Finally the Englishman runs to jump off the cliff, but he trips on a rock just before the jump and says, "Aw, shite!"

• Paddy Englishman, Paddy Irishman and Paddy Scotsman were discussing the infidelity of their wives. "I think my wife is having an affair with an electrician", said Paddy Englishman, "because I found an electrician toolbox under her bed last night." "I think my wife is having an affair with a plumber", said Paddy Scotsman, "because last night I found a plunger under her bed". "I think my wife is having an affair with a horse", said Paddy Irishman, "because last night I found a jockey under her bed."

• An Englishman, a Scotsman, and an Irishman are sitting in a bar. All of a sudden, three flies dive into their beers. The Englishman says, "Barman, a fly just dived into my beer. Bring me another one." The Englishman got another beer. The Irishman says, "Ah, to hell with it," and empties his pint, fly and all. The Scotsman pulls the fly out of his beer and screams, "SPIT IT OOT, YA BASTARD!"

• An Englishman, a Scotsman, and an Irishman are all builders working on a bridge. The Englishman opens his lunch-box and says, "If I get one more tuna sandwich, I'm going to jump off this bridge." The Scotsman opens his lunch box and says, "If I get one more ham sandwich, I'm going to jump off this bridge." The Irishman then says, "If I get one more egg sandwich, I'm going to jump off this bridge." The next day, all three get the same lunch, all three jump off the bridge, and all three die. At their funeral, the Englishman's wife says, "If only I'd known he didn't like tuna." The Scotsman's wife says, "If only I'd known he didn't like ham." The Irishman's wife says, "He made his own sandwiches."