User:Albany551
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| Indian Philosophy Postmodernism |
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 Gyanam Hazarika
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| Name: | Gyanam Hazarika |
| Birth: | October 9, 1983 (Nagaon, Assam, India) |
| School/tradition: | Hedonism |
| Main interests: | Drinking, Philanthropy, Samosa, |
Gyanam Hazarika (born October 9th, 1983) is a former Vice President and current de facto leader of DISHA, the Indian Student's Association at Drexel University. He is perhaps best known for holding controversial and offensive views regarding the rights of Caucasians. His colleagues, in their ire, have responded with crude imitations of his accent and the threat of publishing a volume of his idiosyncratic uses of the English language and accompanying foibles.
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[edit] Early Life
The details of Gyanam's early life remain shrowded in mystery. The extent of public knowledge is that he was often inclined to transport pornographic materials via 3.5" floppy disks.
[edit] Smoking
He is well known for prodigious usage of tobacco products and his willingness to partake in their enjoyment through unconventional means and orifices. He is also unrelenting in his efforts to introduce naive, impressionable youths to this unsavory and dangerous habit.
[edit] Hair
Gyanam is particularly proud of his ebony locks, which have grown impressively long and voluminous during the term of his most recent internship. He cultivates this hairstyle in order to more closely resemble soul godfather James Brown. Among his countrymen, he bears a considerable likeness to South Indian film icon Rajnikanth.
[edit] Co-ops
Gyanam's first co-op was with Siemens Medical Solutions, one of the largest suppliers of imaging equipment and medical applications software in the world. "I enjoyed working for a small department within a large company" he relates. "It was also nice to work alongside another Drexel Co-op student." It was during his subsequent co-op for an undisclosed financial company that he became the subject of many crude and incriminating Microsoft Paint projects. His portrayals have included a flirtatious ballerina enjoying the affections of several ruggedly handsome construction workers, as well as an amalgamation of Indian and Koala bear ascending a Eucalyptus tree. Such depictions, while pernicious, were not entirely undeserved.
[edit] Couch Man
Gyanam in his early college days was deeply moved by the neglected state of cable television. The average couch potatoes willingly took advantage of television for their personal pleasure, but come an opportunity for other better sources of entertainment (like female company for instance) they would leave the television set in its lonely corner. Greatly distressed, Gyanam dedicated most of his life to being the sole guardian of televisions' right to be treated fairly and respectfully. To this end he became Couch Man with a mission to make television sets feel wanted. To date, with his trusty remote controller at hand and recliner of choice groaning under him, he has managed to save televion sets in such varied geographic settings as C7, University Crossings and Kelly Hall. Couch Man is known to be extremely determined in the pursuit of his mission and physicists have postulated that Couch Man in his element might be the first example of absolute rest and as such a contradiction to previous theories that such a phenomenon is quite impossible. Currently, his erstwhile room mate is known to be compiling a series of stories called the 'Chronicles of Couch Man'.
[edit] Notable Quotes
"As vice president of the Indian Students Association and as an Undergraduate Student Government Association (USGA) senator I get to know a lot of different people. Now I have friends from all over the world."
"The derivative of one upon two..."
"You will not admit defeat...until you actually admit it"
"Atleast i'm not a wild animal, like you"
"Uh bah bahaha"
