User:Acenason
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[edit] Michael Nason
[edit] Personal Information
Michael Elbert Nason is the American based exemplification of what a man should be. He is a handsome, charming, witty, well hung, rugged, well read, ridiculously charismatic man with whom many women wish to fornicate with (as do many men). He is also a snappy dresser. His initials are M.E.N. which is befitting because he is the equivalent of at least 1,000 men, perhaps even 10,000. He reeks of awesomeness. Anyone reading this that does not agree is a) wrong and b) ugly. He is an exceptional friend, father, son, bedfellow, billiards player, and animal lover. He kills animals in his spare time. With his bare hands. He is worshipped by professional athletes, movie stars, inanimate objects, and whoever is currently reading this. However, one of Nason's greatest qualities is the ability to be humble despite the fact that he is the single greatest person in the entire universe. Looking up "Michael Nason" in a thesaurus yields the following: "amazing", "perfect", "astonishing", "majestic", and "super-cool". His poker playing skills are the stuff of legend. Michael Nason is single handedly stopping the war on terrorism. He makes a Texas style chili that some would argue is impeccable. The few people that did argue about it are now deceased. If you wish you be more like this remarkable human being, feel free to contact him via AOL Instant Messenger screen name "nikemason" and if you are deemed qualified, earn a pHD in greatness.
[edit] Trivia
- Michael Nason's favorite colors are aqua and teal.
- South Gardner Hotel business triples when people hear there is a chance of him appearing.
- He has turned down appearances on the Today Show, Jay Leno, and American Idol (twice) because he hates taking the spotlight away from others.
- He is better than you.
- A motion picture chronicaling the life of Mike Nason is in the works. Deceased actor Steve McQueen will be coming back from the dead to star as Nason.
- Sleeping with Mike Nason increases your life expectancy about 13 years.
- Both Jack Bauer and Chuck Norris credit Michael Nason with their paramount fighting ability.
- The movie "Gladiator" is loosely based on Michael Nason.
- There are plans for a small European country to be renamed after Nason.
- He wrote the movie "Scarface" one year after he was born under the alias "Oliver Stone."
- His myspace page is located here.
[edit] Early Life
In July of 1982 the world became a markedly better place as Michael Elbert Nason decided to birth himself. He pulled himself out of the womb and immediately asked for a beer and a burrito. When the doctor refused, Nason slapped him so hard that he shit his pants.
At age 12 Mike Nason was already the size of Arnold Schwarzenegger and an acclaimed porn star. With 9 justifiable homicides under his belt already, Nason decided to use his strength and cunning to make the world a better place by becoming a super hero. Not one to draw attention to himself, he decided on the low-key name "Superman." The rest, as they say, is history.
[edit] Present
Michael Nason currently resides in Templeton, Massachusetts because he feels that the paltry town could not possibly exist without his help, and he is right. He single-handedly keeps Patriot's Package Store and Templeton Spirits in business by his charitable and selfless donations. All he asks for in return is massive quantities of alcohol which the store owners gladly oblige with. You can personally thank Nason by clicking here.
His future plans are unknown. The only certainty is that he will remain the absolute greatest at everything ever done in the entire history of the world.
While Michael Nason personifies exemplary greatness, he wholeheartedly admits that the greatness of one Christina Michele Lamoureux exceeds his own.
Note: This article was not written by Michael Nason.
