Zero Patience

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Zero Patience

Zero Patience DVD cover art
Directed by John Greyson
Produced by Alexandra Raffe (executive producer)
Louise Garfield
Anna Stratton
Written by John Greyson
Starring John Robinson
Normand Fauteux
Dianne Heatherington
Richardo Keens-Douglas
Michael Callen
Marla Lukofsky
Von Flores
Music by Glenn Schellenberg
Cinematography Miroslaw Baszak
Editing by Miume Jan
Distributed by Strand Releasing
Release date(s) September 11, 1993 (Toronto Film Festival)
Running time 95 minutes
Country Canada
Language English
French
IMDb profile

Zero Patience is a Canadian musical comedy film directed by John Greyson and released in 1993. The movie is considered to be part of the New Queer Cinema.

The film is serves as a refutation of the urban legend of the alleged introduction of AIDS to North America by a single individual, Gaëtan Dugas, better known as Patient Zero. In this sense, it is a response to Randy Shilts's book And the Band Played On, which played a principal role in the spreading of this misconception (although it should be noted that Shilts did not claim that Dugas was the first to bring the virus to North America).

The film stars John Robinson as anthropologist Sir Richard Francis Burton. This intentional anachronism places Burton, whose real-life work included extensive studies comparing penis size in European and African populations, in a modern context as a closeted gay man.

Burton, now the curator of a museum of natural history, is eager to present the Patient Zero hypothesis for an exhibit in his Hall of Contagion. However, the ghost of Zero (Normand Fauteux) begins to haunt him. Burton gradually comes to realize the problems with the Patient Zero hypothesis and begins to fall in love with Zero. Zero is magically (but temporarily) made corporeal and the two become lovers. Burton videotapes Zero and plans to use the exhibit to refute the blame assigned to Zero, but the museum curator substitutes the original presentation instead. As an ACT UP-like group trashes the exhibit, Zero first confronts then forgives Burton. As Zero fades away, he charges Burton to continue telling Zero's story.

The cast also includes Marla Lukofsky as a singing African green monkey, Ann Medina (a real-life Canadian television journalist) as a television reporter, and Michael Callen as an anthropomorphized HIV virus. The film also includes one of the most controversial scenes in the history of Canadian film, in which two anuses sing a song debating the merits of anal sex.

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