You have two cows
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"You have two cows" is the beginning phrase for a series of political joke definitions. "You have two cows" jokes originated as a parody of typical introductory-level economics course material examples featuring a farmer in a moneyless society, using his cattle and produce to trade with his neighbors. The examples ran along the lines of "You have two cows; you want chickens; you set out to find another farmer who has chickens and wants a cow". They were meant to show the limitations of the barter system, leading to the eventual introduction of currency and money. The "two cows" parodies, however, place the cow-owner in a fully fledged economic system where cows are used as a metaphor for all currency, capital, means of production and economic property. The intent is often to point out flaws and absurdities in those systems.[1][2][3][4][5]
Examples:
- Anarchism: You have two cows. You steal your neighbor's bull.
- Socialism: You have two cows. The government takes one and gives it to someone else.
- Communism: You have two cows. The government takes both of them and gives you a share of the milk.
- Totalitarianism: You have two cows. The government takes them and denies they ever existed. Milk is banned.
- Capitalism: You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull.
- Fascism: You have two cows. The government shoots one, and sells you back the other one.
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[edit] Cows and economic systems
The first "two cows" jokes were meant to compare opposing economic systems such as capitalism and communism, typically by describing how government and bureaucracy would interfere with one's quiet enjoyment of one's cows. The jokes evolved into satire of various political, cultural, social and philosophical systems and theories. Eventually, virtually anything has come to be usable as "cow joke fodder." Newsworthy events involving actual cows (Mad Cow outbreaks) have also been used as material.
[edit] The early days of the Internet
The definitions are examples of the first Internet jokes that circulated in the early days of the Internet. However, the initial variants of these jokes predated the widespread adoption of the Internet and were circulating in typewritten form even by the early 1960s. Being such a readily understood source of humor in many cultures, "two cows" jokes became a part of the international development of the World Wide Web. The jokes are still circulated today, and are translated and quoted on many websites, in dozens of versions, with newer "definitions" added every year. Tucows, the popular download site, is rumored to have taken its name from these jokes, rather than from The Ultimate Collection Of Windows (or Winsock) Software as implied by its logo, and thus alleged to be a backronym of the joke.
[edit] Cross-cultural humor
Because of their freedom and universality of topics, "two cows" jokes are sometimes considered a good example of "cross-cultural humor". They can be concise examples (not necessarily scientific) of how different cultures can express different visions of the same political concept, by paradox, hyperbole, or sarcasm. In practice, most such jokes reflect the views of outsiders to the systems being satirised. In the spirit of finding international common ground, some also see them as humorous manifestations of an underlying general scheme of political science that would compare legal or political concepts, such as the rights of ownership, across cultures around the world.
[edit] Other cows and humor
Cows themselves are a frequent subject matter of humor, involved in works such as cow ASCII art, cow tipping, and The Far Side. Some have conjectured that the word cow may be an inherently funny word, as invoked in the term "holy cow" and the compound dvigu.
[edit] References
- ^ Guevarra, Argee "Future Tense: e-jokes." BusinessWorld. Manila: Jun 4, 1997. pg. NOPGCIT (praises the joke and gives versions from various countries/economic systems)retrieved from Proquest Dec. 8, 2006. Source type: Periodical. ISSN: 01163930. ProQuest document ID: 84519297. (subscription required)
- ^ Melnick, Rick "Bovinus economicus." American Vegetable Grower. Willoughby: Aug 2001.Vol.49, Iss. 8; pg. 42(presents the joke).retrieved from Proquest Dec. 8, 2006. Source type: Periodical. ISSN: 07419848. ProQuest document ID: 77628668. (subscription required)
- ^ "Enronism Avenue Of The Americas;" [USA edition]. Financial Times. London (UK): Jan 10, 2002. pg. 13(adds Enron version of two cows joke)retrieved from Proquest Dec. 8, 2006. Source type: Newspaper. ISSN: 03071766. ProQuest document ID: 98859339. (subscription required)
- ^ "Insider Column." Bangkok Post, Thailand, distributed by Knight Ridder Tribune Business News. Washington: Jan 17, 2002. pg. 1.(four new 2 cows jokes relevant to world economic issues) retrieved from Proquest Dec. 8, 2006. Source type: Wire Feed. ProQuest document ID: 100120779. (subscription required)
- ^ Plender, John, "Texan bull." [London 1st Edition]. Financial Times. London (UK): Apr 14, 2003. pg. 24 (talks about Enron version of joke). retrieved from Proquest Dec. 8, 2006. ISSN: 03071766. ProQuest document ID: 324166071. (subscription required)
