Guide to: Your Body and Procrastination

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Ned's Declassified episode
“Guide to: Your Body and Procrastination”
Episode no.	Season 2 Episode 6
Guest star(s)	Meshach Taylor as Mr. Wright, Van Earl Wright and Willie Gault as themselves
Writer(s)	Rick Groel, Gene Grillo
Director	Joe Menendez
Production no.	207
Original airdate	November 12, 2005
Episode chronology
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"Guide to: Vice Principals and Mondays"	"Guide to: Gross Biology Dissection and Upperclassmen"
List of Ned's Declassified School Survival Guide episodes

"Guide to: Your Body and Procrastination" is the 19th episode of the American teenage show Ned’s Declassified School Survival Guide. It originally aired as the 6th episode of Season 2 on November 12, 2005

Spoiler warning: Plot and/or ending details follow.

1 Plot
- 1.1 Guide to: Your Body
- 1.2 Guide to: Procrastination
2 Trivia
3 Tips

[edit] Plot

[edit] Guide to: Your Body

Everybody’s body has flaws. Ned thinks he isn’t strong enough, Moze realises she’s taller than her classmates, and gets flak from one of them, Patty, and Cookie’s inept body leaves him prone to attack from Loomer and co. Cookie, to try and prevent being beaten up, creates a pair of ‘rocket shoes’, but these fail miserably. Ned, similarly, heads to the weight room, but soon finds he can’t lift a thing, and Coach Dirga informs him he’s way out of his depth. Ned still doesn’t improve when he goes to Gordy for help, who tells him he doesn’t need to actually get stronger, he just needs to puff out his chest, and look stronger. Again, the plan fails due to that Ned has to stop breathing when he does this!

Moze’s situation with Patty gets worse, when she accidentally steps on his art project, and smashes it into pieces. Cookie’s next plan, ‘kangaroo shoes’ (shoes with springs in the soles) is even worse, and when he jumps, makes him crash into the roof. Loomer later confronts Ned about being such a ‘weakling’. Coach Dirga spots Loomer and Ned, and challenges Loomer to a weightlifting match against Ned. Loomer agrees, to Ned’s dismay, so Dirga offers to teach Ned how to lift properly.

The next day, Moze starts her ploys to look shorter, and Ned practicing his weightlifting technique with Dirga. Cookie arrives at the school in full protective gear, and even when he gets knocked down by OAPs in a golf cart lost in the school, he still can’t be hurt. Patty eventually confronts Moze about being so tall, until Coach Dirga intervenes, and informs them that they’re works in progress, and haven’t necessarily finished growing. Ned holds his lift-off with Loomer. Although Loomer is the favourite, and far stronger, he hasn’t been practicing, and has terrible technique. Because of this, Loomer fails to lift his weight. Ned, who has the technique, lifts his weight easily, and wins the lift-off, to Dirga’s delight, and Loomer’s surprise.

[edit] Guide to: Procrastination

Mr Wright has given his classes a project on countries of the world. Although Ned is determined to do it at first, he soon start procrastinating until eventually there are only three days to go until the project’s due, and he hasn’t even started. Moze however, has finished the written part of her project on Holland, and is trying to learn a clog dance, but is finding it far too difficult. Cookie has developed PAL (Procrastination Alert Link) which keeps him on a tight schedule. Later, Moze bets Ned that he won’t even get the project in on time. Ned agrees to the bet, and the forfeit is to be ‘The Usual’. (We don’t find out what ‘The Usual’ is until the end of the short). Lisa, learning of Cookie’s PAL, hacks into it, and changes his schedules to spending time with her.

Ned tries to get Gordy to help him quit procrastination by locking him in Gordy’s custodian closet, and not letting him out for any reason. But this plan fails when paranoid Gordy can not leave him in there for any less than a few seconds! Next, Ned goes to Mr. Wright and finds out that even he used to have a procrastination problem. Wright tells Ned tips on how to quit his habit.

Ned gets to work over the next few days, and Lisa and Cookie spend even more time together. Until, when Cookie checks his schedule, and finds out his next activity is to ‘Kiss Lisa Zemo’! Lisa is centimeters away from getting that kiss, until Cookie realises she had hacked into PAL. Expecting Cookie to be angry, Lisa was surprised when she found Cookie was incredibly impressed, and the two of them spent even time together due to Cookie asking Lisa to teach him her hacking technique.

It’s the day of the project, and to Moze’s shock, Ned has completed his project on Japan, using Mr. Wright’s anti-procrastination techniques. When it’s Moze’s turn to present her clog dance, she fails miserably, blaming her painful shoes. Her excuse however, means nothing to Ned, and she loses the bet. It turns out that ‘The Usual’ involving dressing up in a very peculiar outfit, made of joke memorabilia, dancing and yodelling, which Moze does at the end of the short, to Ned’s delight.

[edit] Trivia

Daran Norris (Gordy) voices Jorgen von Strangle in Fairly Odd Parents, and so when he does his Arnold Schwarzenegger impression in the Your Body short, he sounds very much like Jorgen
In Your Body, Moze growing into a giantess is a parody of the classic B-grade horror/sci-fi film Attack of the 50ft. Woman
In the Procrastination short, it seems Ned has a fascination with ninjas. He watches Ninja Extreme Warrior III, performs a martial arts routine and creates a model of a ninjas out of sticks. In Guide to: School Clubs and Video Projects, Ned also does his video project on ninjas
In the Procrastination short, Moze says the line “Haven’t you learnt anything from your last eighteen technological breakthroughs?” There have been eighteen episodes of the show previous to this episode.