Work spouse
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
A work spouse is a co-worker (usually of the opposite sex)[1] with whom one shares a special relationship, having bonds similar to those of a marriage; such as, special confidences, loyalties, shared jokes and experiences, and an unusual degree of honesty or openness. The work spouse is a potentially key relationship when one's actual spouse or boy/girlfriend is not able to understand the nuances of the workplace. While it is not unusual for the relationship to contain elements of flirtation, this relationship can be threatened rather than enhanced if it becomes sexual.
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[edit] Social Documentation
In one 2006 survey, 32 percent of workers said they had an "office husband" or "office wife."[1]
A CNN Money article characterizes the relationship as having the "immediate intimacy [of marriage] without the sex or commitment and cites a report suggestiong that such relationships "may not only make you happier with your job but may even improve your chances for promotions and raises."[2]
One source[1] characterizes the relationships as "platonic, very close, opposite-sex couplings, with no romantic strings attached." The phrase is, however, sometimes used for same-sex relationships.[3]
[edit] Historical: the "Office Wife" concept (c. 1930-1980)
The phrase "office wife" was common during the 1930s, popularized by Faith Baldwin's 1930 novel The Office Wife[4] and its movie adaptation.[5] But the concept, if not the exact phrase, is much older: a 1933 New York Times article says:
- It is curious that the phrase "office wife" originated with Gladstone. He used to say that a Minister and his secretary should understand each other as perfectly as a husband and wife, which principle he reduced to a system.[6]
"Office wife" carried the connotation of subordinance or subservience. As feminism began to take hold in the 1980s, it became common to hear that "Many secretaries resent the 'office wife' syndrome," referring to being asked to do such things paying personal bills for a boss, picking up everything from dry cleaning, or dusting the office. "I'm getting paid as a secretary," said one secretary. "I'm not a personal servant."[7]
Desk Set is one early example movie. It is a comedy romance with Katharine Hepburn and Spencer Tracy. Richard Sumner (Tracy) takes Bunny Watson (Hepburn) to lunch in the movie and he interviews her about her department. Near the end the computer starts to fail, but Bunny pulls out a hairpin to save the day. Corny plot and conclusion, but that was the era and style for the day. In the movie, Bunny replaces a nerd assistant. The assistant was played as a point of jealousy for the Bunny character. Sumner and Bunny never have a sexual encounter, the movie ends. Hepburn classically plays the "work spouse" in several movies.
[edit] The Concept (c. 1980-present)
According to Timothy Noah, writing in Slate, "The terms 'work wife,' 'work husband,' and 'work marriage' entered the national lexicon in 1987, when the writer David Owen wrote a groundbreaking Atlantic essay describing a particular Platonic intimacy that frequently arises between male and female employees working in close proximity."[8]
An executive coach and workplace adviser noted that as of 2005, "The workplace spouse is a relatively new concept... Many people don't know what to make of it yet. It is only within the last 25 years that men and women have become peers in the workplace... This new camaraderie, coupled with long hours spent at work, has caused a fundamental shift in the way people conduct business and interact with one another."[9]
With so many of the quality hours of a day spent at work, having someone there who has an intuitive understanding of the pressures, personalities, interactions, and underlying narratives of the workplace society can add safety and comfort to what can otherwise be an alienating environment.
[edit] References
- ^ a b c Dawn Sagario (2006-03-20). Platonic 'spouse' at work accepted as trend. Gannett Press; Des Moines Register and other newspapers. Retrieved on 2006-07-13., also [1]: "They are platonic, very close, opposite-sex couplings, with no romantic strings attached;" "A recent workplace survey found that 32 percent of workers say they have an 'office husband' or 'office wife.' '(It's) really hitting its stride this year,' said Mark Oldman, co-founder of Vault Inc. The career information company published the survey results in January'"
- ^ "Will an office 'romance' make you more successful?". CNNMoney.com (2006-01-27). Retrieved on 2006-07-12.
- ^ Allen Powell II (2006-06-20). Commander Gonzalez given a hero's funeral. New Orleans Times-Picayune. Retrieved on 2006-07-13.: "But, [Capt. Octavio Gonzalez] was also a cop’s cop, a man so dedicated to his job that his wife often referred to fellow SORT member Capt. Charles “Chuck” Bazile as Gonzalez’s “work wife.”
- ^ Baldwin, Faith (1930). The Office Wife. New York: Dodd, Mead.
- ^ The Office Wife. Retrieved on 2006-07-12.
- ^ Wilson, P. W. (1933), "The Career Secretary: In America There Is No Counterpart of the Englishman Who Serves Great Men and Often Succeeds Them" The New York Times, January 8, 1933, p. SM12.
- ^ Karagianis, Mary (1980): "Clerical Power: Behind Every Boss There's a Secretary," October 19, 1980, Boston Globe Magazine.
- ^ Timothy Noah (2004-11-17). Prexy Sks Wrk Wf: Condoleezza Rice's promotion creates a void. Slate. Retrieved on 2006-07-12.
- ^ Jackson, Kate M. (2005), "It's a Marriage of Sorts: 'Workplace spouses' Share Office Goals, Long Hours, and a Need for Boundaries." The Boston Globe, October 23, 2005, p. G1; quotes "executive coach and workplace advisor" Dory Hollander; online at Kate L. Jackson (2005-10-23). It's a Marriage of Sorts. The Boston Globe. Retrieved on 2006-07-13.
