User:Wild Mountain Thyme

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Wild Mountain Thyme (1986 - ) is a new Wikipedia contributer, author, and femme fatale known for her charming wit, off-beat brand of humor, and enthusiastic consumption of Zoloft. She is in love with half the men she lays eyes on.

[edit] Early Life

Wild Mountain Thyme was born a human child to mortal parents on October 18, 1986 in the remote Midwestern farming village of Melrose Park, Illinois. Much like Jesus, little is known of her infant years, except that she screamed a lot and inexplicably fell asleep to the vacuum cleaner. From an early age she showed an impressive ability for idle chatter. Her otherwise happy (and painfully unremarkable) childhood was marred by tragedy when, at the age of seven, she was kidnapped by a band of clinically depressed grief counselors. This event, coupled with the trauma of never receiving the Barbie dreamhouse she had so desperately wanted Christmas after Christmas, would have a profound effect on WMT later in life. She lived out several years following her abduction exiled on the island of Crete.

(TO BE CONTINUED.)