Wikipedia:WikiProject Biography/Peer review/Aspasia

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[edit] Aspasia

I just finshed the rewriting of the article (so, I'm sorry for any typos or other deficiencies). I think the article has the potential to become GA or FA. I would like to have the opinions of the members of the group.--Yannismarou 13:44, 30 August 2006 (UTC)

[edit] bcasterline

Very interesting. There are some language-related problems, most of which I tried to correct. Some I couldn't figure out:

• "Aspasia figures in ancient philosophical works..." Do you mean she "appears"?
• "Aspasia was in emulation of Thargelia..." Did she consciously emulate Thergelia, or was she just in retrospect similar to her? (In the latter case, "similar to" would be a better expression.)
• "Worsted in the war, the Milesians came to Athens with loud complaints against the Samians." Bad sentence.
• "...the notional date associated with the dramatic date of Plato's dialogue, Menexenus." Not sure what this means.
• "Plutarch raises the query..." Is the quote that follows a query or an exclamation? Looks more like the latter to me.
• And a grammatical note: it's best to use 's to show possession, even if names end in s. Thus, Pericles's death, not Pericles' death.

I made some minor organizational changes, to which I hope you don't object. Also seems like Lysistrata (as part of the general "influential women in Ancient Athens" theme) deserves some mention, maybe in the philosophical works section. Besides some awkward wording, though, I'd say this is a very good article. The footnotes, citations, and references are especially comprehensive and well-organized. -- bcasterline • talk 21:23, 8 September 2006 (UTC)

What is better "Aspasia figures in the philosophical writings of Plato ... " or "Aspasia appears in the philosophical writings of Plato ... " ?--Yannismarou 20:39, 9 September 2006 (UTC)

If you mean that they sometimes wrote about her, I think the latter is a better way to say it. -- bcasterline • talk 20:46, 9 September 2006 (UTC)

[edit] Plange

• "Aspasia figures in ancient philosophical works and is regarded by modern scholars as an exceptional personality" - might be good to continue this sentence and say what made her exception in the eyes of modern scholars
• "The war begun with Athens' intervention in the quarrel on behalf of Miletus" doesn't appear to be a complete sentence.
• "He attributes the Megarian decree of Pericles, which excluded Megara from trade with Athens or its allies, to prostitutes being taken from the house of Aspasia in retaliation for one of their number having been drunkingly kidnapped from Megara." sentence doesn't quite make sense. Do you mean this? "He attributes the cause of the Megarian decree of Pericles, which excluded Megara from trade with Athens or its allies, as retaliation for prostitutes being kidnapped from the house of Aspasia by drunks from Megara"?

--plange 02:12, 9 September 2006 (UTC)

Thanks for the valuable suggestions of both of you. I tried to implement them and I hope the article will be soon ready for FAC. I just want to point out a thing concerning the remark No 3 of Plange. Aristophanes narrates that:

• A Megarian courtesan was kidnapped by drunk Athenians.
• The Megarians retaliated, kidnapping three harlots of the brothel of Aspasia.
• Pericles proposed the Megarian decree in retaliation to the last kidnappings.--Yannismarou 19:30, 9 September 2006 (UTC)