White wedding
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- This article is about the set of wedding traditions. For the Billy Idol song, see White Wedding (song).
A white wedding is a term for a traditional formal or semi-formal wedding in British and American, as well as Commonwealth, traditions. Brides in many other countries are adopting this traditional white dress. This term refers to the white colour of the wedding dress, which became popular in the Victorian era and came to symbolize purity of heart and the innocence of childhood. Later attribution suggested that the colour white symbolized virginity.
This article discusses the rise of the conventions of a "White wedding," their perceived symbolism, and their contemporary application.
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[edit] History and traditions
The tradition of wearing white at weddings began due to the choice of colour of the wedding dress of Queen Victoria at her wedding to Prince Albert. Queen Victoria was not the first royal bride to wear a white wedding gown, but the first of the modern era. White had been a traditional colour of royal mourning, and although not often utilized as such, white was not considered a suitable choice for a royal wedding. Victoria's choice popularized the white gown as no other had before her. Previously, brides wore their best clothes or the most expensive new clothes they could afford. Gold or gold-threaded dresses became popular with royal brides; the rank-and-file wore dresses that reflected their station. White was one of many choices, pastel shades were also popular.
Until the mid-twentieth century, many brides in the United Kingdom did not wear a traditional wedding dress, merely a specially bought dress that could later be worn as an evening dress. This was also the case in pre-20th century America, where working and frontier brides often opted for a formal look that was practical and could be used again on special occasions. In fact, before the white wedding dress became standardized and old poem (which seems to favor blue) sang the praises or woes of various color choices.
“Married in white, you will have chosen all right. Married in grey, you will go far away. Married in black, you will wish yourself back. Married in red, you’ll wish yourself dead. Married in blue, you will always be true. Married in pearl, you’ll live in a whirl. Married in green, ashamed to be seen, Married in yellow, ashamed of the fellow. Married in brown, you’ll live out of town. Married in pink, your spirits will sink.”[1]
White weddings almost always take place in churches and people generally seek to be married in the most prestigious or picturesque church they can find. This often leads to the often bemoaned phenomenon of such churches attracting the unexpected attendance of unmarried couples who are in the early stages of planning their wedding and wish to be married there, but would not otherwise set foot in church. As a consequence, some churches require that the couple either be parishioners or pledge to join and participate in the parish. In the United States, such weddings may also be held at the family's residence or in a private club.
After World War I, as full-scale formal weddings began to be desired by the mothers of brides who did not have a permanent social secretary, the position of the "wedding planner" who could coordinate the printer, florist, caterer, seamstress, began to assume importance. Bride's Magazine began to be published in 1934 as a newspaper advertising insert called So You're Going to Get Married! in a column entitled To the Bride, and its rival Modern Bride began publishing in 1949. Now a whole industry surrounds the provision of such weddings. The groom may be a mere detail: the new editor of Modern Bride began her inaugural column, without irony: "I really did have the wedding of my dreams, the wedding that had been floating around my head for years before I met my husband."
Emily Post's Etiquette was first published in 1922, as a guide to the "new" people of the post-war boom, who meant to get the unfamiliar details right, and the conservatively evolving nature of a formal wedding can be traced in its various editions. A 4th edition of Peggy Post's Emily Post's Wedding Etiquette: Cherished Traditions and Contemporary Ideas for a Joyous Celebration is still in print, along with a wide range of wedding planners and guides to second weddings bearing the Post name. A subtle shift in the requirements for a wedding can be detected in the modern blurb for Emily Post's Weddings "creating a wedding experience that demonstrates the bride and groom's commitment and uniqueness." "Uniqueness" is a modern addition to a wedding's requirements. Judith Martin has published Miss Manners on Weddings.
The full white wedding experience means that an organist, a choir, flower arrangements, flowers for lapels and commemorative wedding leaflets with the Order of Service need to be arranged and purchased. Also the hymns need to be selected and a reading from the Bible chosen. (Note: A less religious or non denominational form uses well known classical and popular music.)
[edit] Attendees
Traditional weddings require, in addition to the bride and groom:
- Best man - a close male friend or relative of the groom, given a place of honour.
- Maid of honour - a close female friend or relative of the bride, given a place of honour. If she is married, she is instead called the "matron of honour."
- Groomsmen - one or more male attendants who support the groom.
- Bridesmaids - one or more female attendants who support the bride.
- Flower girl - a young girl who scatters flowers in front of the bridal party.
- Ringbearer - an attendant, often a young boy, who carries the wedding rings.
- Ushers - helpers, usually men, who assist with the organization.
- Junior Bridesmaids - young girl typically between the ages of 8 and 16 who is too old to be a flowergirl, but the bride wants to be a part of the wedding.
Typically, these positions are filled by close friends of the bride and groom; being asked to serve in these capacities is seen as a great honour.
Wedding guests are generally sent invitations to which they are expected to reply. The guests are generally invited to both the wedding and the wedding reception afterwards, although sometimes reception places are limited. Often certain people are invited due to perceived family obligations, as to not receive an invitation can be considered an insult.
[edit] The ceremony
When the guests arrive for a wedding the ushers' duty is to hand out the correct mix of books, flowers and leaflets and ensure the guests are seated in the correct places. Traditionally, the side on which people sit depends on whether they are friends or family of the bride or of the groom. The front rows are generally reserved for close family or friends, with the very first seats reserved for the bridal party. However, in many ceremonies the bridal party will remain standing at the altar during the ceremony along with the bride and groom.
The groom and his best man wait inside the church for the arrival of the bride and her "entourage".
This entourage generally arrives in elegant cars or in horse-drawn coaches, specially hired for the occasion. The bride's entourage normally consists of the bride, the bride's father and all the various bridesmaids, maids of honour, flower girls and page boys that are intended to attend her.
The following is a typical processional order:
- The ushers and/or groomsmen escort the grandparents of the bride and groom to their seats.
- The ushers and/or groomsmen escort the mother of the groom and mother of the bride to their seats.
- The bridesmaids enter, escorted by the groomsmen.
- The maid or matron of honor enters, either by herself or escorted by the best man.
- The ringbearer enters.
- The flower girl enters. (In some ceremonies, the ringbearer will accompany the flower girl.)
The bride then proceeds down the aisle, escorted by her father, to the accompaniment of music, and the ceremony starts.
After the wedding ceremony itself ends, the bride, groom, officiate, and two witnesses generally go off to a side room to sign the wedding register in the United Kingdom or the state-issued marriage license in the United States. Without the signing of the register or the marriage license no legally valid marriage exists.
Afterward, guests file out to throw flower petals, confetti, birdseed, or rice over the newly-married couple for good luck.
Finally, a photographic session ensues of the couple leaving the church.
[edit] The reception
After this the events shift to a reception at which the married couple, the couple's parents, the best man and the wedding entourage greet each of the guests. At such events it is traditional to eat and drink. The cutting of the wedding cake would also take place at the reception.
During the reception a number of speeches and/or toasts are given in honor of the couple.
Any dancing is commonly started by the bride and groom, usually termed the "Bridal Waltz", but dancing an actual waltz is comparatively rare - often the couple chooses their favourite love ballad.
An arranged dance between the bride and her father is also traditional. Sometimes the groom will cut in halfway through the dance, symbolizing the bride leaving her father and joining her new husband. Though not traditional, dances between the groom and his mother are also becoming popular in America.
At some point the married couple will become the object of a shivaree, a good-natured hazing of the newly-married couple. While this is most familiar in the form of tying tin cans to the bumper of the couple's car, or spraying shaving cream on the windows, some of the pranks can be far more malicious.
The final tradition is the newly married couple to set off for their honeymoon.
[edit] External links
- Neil Shister, "Queen for a Day... a skeptical look at the modern wedding ritual" from Boston Review, October/November 1998
