War of Nerves (M*A*S*H)
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| M*A*S*H episode | |
|---|---|
| “War of Nerves” | |
| Episode no. | Season – Episode – |
| Guest star(s) | Allan Arbus (Maj. Sidney Freedman) Johnny Haymer (SSgt. Zelmo Zale) |
| Writer(s) | Alan Alda |
| Director | Alan Alda |
| Production no. | 604 |
| Original airdate | October 11, 1977 |
| Episode chronology | |
| ← Previous | Next → |
| – | – |
"War of Nerves" is an episode from the TV series M*A*S*H. It was the fourth episode of the sixth season and originally aired October 11, 1977. It was written and directed by Alan Alda.
Guest cast is Allan Arbus as Major Sidney Freedman, Johnny Haymer as Staff Sergeant Zelmo Zale, Peter Riegert as Private Igor Straminsky, and Michael O'Keefe as Tom.
[edit] Overview
Tensions are building at the 4077th, and morale is at an all-time low. Dr. Sidney Freedman is visiting to follow up on a soldier he sent back into battle, and helps Colonel Potter realize that a big bonfire may be what it takes to let people vent their frustrations and get back to work.
[edit] Detailed story
As the show begins, an ambulance full of wounded soldiers is pulling in to the camp. This is normal for the 4077th; what's not normal is that one of the passengers is Sidney Freedman. Naturally, Hawkeye and B.J. are curious about how he managed to get himself a head wound, so Freedman explains that he was in a foxhole doing a follow-up with Tom, a patient of his (who happens to be across the aisle from him, also wounded) when they came under bombardment by Chinese artillery.
As the doctors go to work, a patched-up Freedman is standing with them explaining Tom's situation. It turns out that he had been suffering from "hysterical paralysis" and, when Freedman first met him, was completely unable to walk. It used to be standard procedure to send such patients home, but in the end they almost always wound up paralyzed for life. However, it had been recently discovered that if the condition is new enough the patient will respond to therapy; this is what Freedman was doing with the soldier. For the treatment to work, though, the patient had to be returned to the front lines as soon as he possibly could. Thus, Freedman had to go to the front himself to check on his patient's progress.
As Freedman is discussing Tom's condition, Margaret allegedly sees Winchester touch his nose--an offense that would require he go back outside and scrub his hands before continuing work. Winchester insists that he did no such thing; Margaret persists. The argument continues until Col. Potter orders Winchester to go and re-scrub.
In the mess tent after the OR session, Winchester remarks to Margaret about her lack of depth perception;Klinger walks in dressed as Dorothy from the The Wizard of Oz carrying Radar's teddy bear in an attempt to get Dr. Freedman to give him a Section 8; Hawkeye is aggravating B.J. by shoving his food in front of B.J.'s nose. The last straw comes when Radar comes in to take his teddy bear from Klinger. Klinger explains that he needs it to prove to Freedman that he is crazy; Radar takes offense at this. Finally, all hell breaks loose. Freedman steps outside the tent to escape the turmoil, and Potter follows him.
Potter remarks to Freedman that the camp has been overworked lately, and it's driving everyone crazy. He asks Freedman if he'd be willing to see some of the "loonier" ones informally, and Freedman agrees. Potter then suggests that they need some kind of diversion to blow off steam; he then concludes that square dancing is the way to do that. A few seconds later he realizes how crazy that idea is, and suggests that Freedman set aside an hour for him. Potter leaves and Freedman sees Zale and Igor pouring gasoline on a pile of uniforms. Igor explains that they are lice-infested uniforms from Chinese prisoners of war; Zale says that if they wanted to get rid of lice they'd have to "burn the whole camp". Igor is agitated (and hungry) and just wants to get the uniforms burned so he can go eat, so Zale tells him to go eat, asking if he's "holding him up". Igor replies that yes, he is, and argument ensues.
Freedman returns to his tent, and shortly afterward Margaret knocks on his door. She explains that Col. Potter wanted her to speak with him, and then proceeds to explain how she has a problem "by the name of Charles Emerson Winchester." She claims that he is insane, and continues to harp on the nose-touching incident earlier that day. She then exclaims that she has no idea what he will try to touch next, to which Freedman replies, "Aha." Margaret interprets that to mean that he thinks she's infatuated with Winchester, which she steadfastly denies--in fact, she claims that his nose is "the only thing around here that would have him". Freedman isn't too sure about that, saying that he possesses intelligence and wit. Margaret adds to that his money, and then suggests that Freedman thinks she finds money attractive--which she also then denies, saying money comes "second...maybe even third...second". She continues to insist that Winchester is insane, but Freedman says he seems "basically normal". Margaret takes that to mean that he thinks Winchester is infatuated with her--something else she denies. Just then someone knocks on the door, and as Winchester walks in Margaret jumps up and pretends to be examining Freedman's head. She then leaves, saying that she's sure they have "some sort of mental problem to discuss."
As Winchester sits down, he asks what he said to provoke Margaret's comment. He says that if he had any knowledge of psychiatry, he'd recommend treatment for Margaret. Freedman thanks him for the advice and then asks him if there's anything else he'd like to talk about. Winchester says no and gets up to leave, explaining that he was just dropping by "to say [he] won't be dropping by". Freedman asks him if dropping by would make him uncomfortable; Winchester tells him not to waste his time, explaining that he had his "fill of psychiatrists at the age of nine" and that no, he does not care to talk about it. He then sits down, explaining that he's convinced Margaret is intensely interested in his body. He suggests Freedman thinks Margaret is crazy about him, then laughs.
Meanwhile, Zale and Igor continue to build their fire. Igor sees a crate nearby, and suggests that they put that on the fire, too. Zale agrees and they carry it over to the pile. Just as they're about to light it, Zale grabs a couple of more crates, then the two of them pile a bench on top.
Back in Post-Op, B.J. and Hawkeye are assuring Tom that he's going to be fine. Tom is glad to hear that, and as the doctors leave he's joking and generally in an excellent mood. Just outside the Hawkeye and B.J. run into Sidney, and they invite him inside to have a little chat with Tom. He agrees, but Tom has no wish to see Dr. Freedman. Angry with him for sending him back to the front, Tom insults Freedman and then threatens to destroy the hospital if he doesn't leave.
Freedman returns to his tent, and he sees Klinger sitting waiting to see him. He explains that he can't help Klinger with the Section 8 routine, but it turns out that Klinger is starting to become convinced that he actually is insane. He describes how, instead of becoming excited by an attractive woman as he used to, he now can only think about what kind of fashion faux pas she may be committing. He also explains how he becomes physically anxious when he reads about how fashion trends change and worries how he will be able to keep up. Freedman then asks him why he wants to get out of the Army; Klinger explains that he simply doesn't want to be around death--his own or others. Hearing this, Freedman reassures him that he is perfectly sane. Klinger, naturally, is thrilled to hear this.
The next day, the fire has grown to a pile of all sorts of burnable items collected from the camp. Potter walks outside and is upset by this; he orders his staff to pull everything off and burn only the Chinese uniforms. He then bumps into Freedman, who manages to convince him that this bonfire may be exactly what they need. Potter then rescinds his order, telling the staff to build "One Regulation Bon-Type Fire" and the bonfire is rebuilt.
Freeman turns around and sees Radar by his tent. He asks Radar what's wrong, and Radar explains that he's a bit worried by Klinger's comment that carrying a teddy bear proves he's crazy. Freedman tells Radar that it's impossible to tell anything about someone by what he carries, but Radar admits that sometimes he talks to the teddy bear. Freedman asks Radar if the teddy bear ever talks back; Radar replies "No!". Freedman then explains that Radar's actually doing very well for the kind of situation that he's in--there are plenty of people with more lunatic behaviors than his that aren't in nearly the hellish life he is.
Shortly afterward, B.J. and Hawkeye are putting Tom in the ambulance to go to Seoul. They ask him if he'd like to see Dr. Freedman again, and he says that he would. Freedman is brought out, and Tom tells Freedman that he will never forgive him for sending him back to the front. Tom is then placed into the ambulance, and as it leaves Freedman explains that Tom's outburst may be the best thing for him.
That evening, Father Mulcahy enters Freedman's tent. He obliquely mentions Freedman's situation, referring to an unknown "friend", until Freedman asks him who the friend is and Mulcahy explains that it's Freedman himself. He is aware that Sidney is feeling rather low, and Sidney explains to him that while when Hawkeye and B.J. lose a patient "he's out of his misery", when he loses one he's "lost a mind". Mulcahy sympathizes with him, saying that when he loses someone he's "lost a soul". They then hear the shouts and laughter of the camp staff as the bonfire is about to be lit. As they go out to join the celebration, they see Klinger throwing an Army cookbook on the pile, then Col. Potter throwing on a desk. Freedman then throws his fatigue jacket and pants on, and B.J. and Hawkeye add Winchester's cot. Klinger lights the fire, and Col. Potter leads the entire camp in singing, "Keep The Homefires Burning".
The next morning, Potter and Radar are searching through the smoldering remains of the fire for Radar's bugle so he can blow Reveille. Upon finding it Radar gives his usual inept performance, and Potter remarks that it sounds a bit better.
[edit] Trivia
1 of 2 episodes where Private Igor Straminsky was played by Peter Riegert, instead of Jeff Maxwell, who portrayed Igor in 59 episodes over the run of the show.
| Preceded by: "Last Laugh" |
M*A*S*H episodes | Followed by: "The Winchester Tapes" |
