Wanted (Only Fools and Horses)

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Only Fools and Horses episode
"Wanted"
Series	3
Writer	John Sullivan
Director	Ray Butt
Producer	Ray Butt
Duration	30 minutes
Airdate	15 December 1983
Audience	11.2 million

Wanted is an episode of the BBC sit-com, Only Fools and Horses. It was the sixth episode of series 3, and was first screened on 15 December 1983.

[edit] Synopsis

Spoiler warning: Plot and/or ending details follow.

Rodney and Mickey Pearce are at business as usual trying to pick up girls at the Nag's Head, until Del walks in to spoil their fun.

As Rodney walks home, he stumbles upon a mentally and pyschically unstable drunken woman who's waiting for a bus, but when she's about to fall, Rodney puts his hands out to catch her, but the woman berates Rodney for touching her. Rodney tries to calm the woman by saying that he's a doctor, then quickly runs off into the night.

The next morning at Nelson Mandela House, while serving him a badly burnt breakfast, Grandad tells Del that Rodney came in the previous night trembling and sweating. As Rodney enters the lounge and lies to his older brother and grandfather that his journey was "uneventful", Del tells his younger brother that they've got to pick up their van from the Nag's Head, because last night, when Del exited the pub, the area was full of police. Rodney then asks if the police had a clear description of the man they were after, but Del and Grandad start suspecting him. Rodney comes clean and tells the truth that his journey wasn't uneventful. He then explains that the woman he ran into stank of booze and was acting all sorts of odd, such as screaming "Rape!" As Rodney also mentions that he lied to the woman by saying he was a doctor, Del asks Rodney if he gave her a perscription, which Rodney answers no. Grandad then asks why the woman was accusing Rodney of all these things. Rodney explains that at one point, the woman was about to fall because of her drunken state, so Rodney put his hands out to stop her from falling, but he didn't really touch her! As Grandad asks what the woman looked like, Rodney described her as blonde, aged 45, her hair having black roots, purple fingernails, and being heavily made-up. Del, with his back to the others, asks Rodney "Did she call you 'my lovely'?" Rodney answers yes and asks if Del knows her, but Del denies it. Rodney also mentions that the woman was wearing an ID necklace that said the name "Blossom". Grandad believes that Rodney touching the woman will be brought up during his trial in court. Del names it the case of the "Peckham Pouncer". Rodney asks who named him the Peckham Pouncer, and Del replies that the police did last night. Del also goes on about street vigilantes wanting to hang Rodney. Worried that he'll go to jail, Rodney cries out that he didn't really mean to touch the woman, because he only wanted to help her. Del tells him that he'll go out and see what's going on, as well as tell Rodney to get some sleep and stop worrying. Now completely calmed down, Rodney goes off to bed. Grandad asks Del if Rodney really did it, but Del breaks down into laughter and explains that Rodney just bumped into Blossom, a mental hospital patient who is let out on weekends for practice, and accusing people is her hobby which makes her well known to the police. Grandad asks why he doesn't tell Rodney, but Del suggests that he's gonna wind Rodney right up with the Peckham Pouncer story, and by this time tomorrow evening, Rodney will think that all the flats are under siege. Grandad warns Del to be careful with his joke, as well as remind of that April Fool's Day joke where Del told Grandad that the pools rung to say he won half a million. Grandad went up west with his pension money and drank champagne with a bird named Camilla in a Soho nightclub, before realizing he didn't even do the pools.

That night at the Nag's Head, Del tells Trigger and Boycie the whole story about Rodney meeting Blossom, as well as Trigger mentioning how his cousin Marilyn was once accused by Blossom. Then, Grandad calls Del with bad news; Rodney's gone on the run, taken all the tinned food from the cupboard, and is hiding in a secret place. Del decides to go out and look for him.

The next morning, a tired and unshaven Del returns home to the flat and explains to Grandad that he looked for Rodney everywhere in London, and was offered by many junkies from £50 for his passport to a plate of Magic Mushrooms. Grandad then berates Del for his silly wind up, and that he could've told Rodney that it was just a joke yesterday instead of listening to his Johnny Cash Live at San Quentin LP. Del then starts to detect a strange smell. Grandad explains that it had been in the flats since last night, and it's coming from the ventilation shaft. This gives Del a clue to where Rodney is hiding.

Up in the tank room, Del enters and finds Rodney hiding. He explains to him that he knows Rodney has been smoking drugs, where the smell wafted through the air ducts. After offering food and scotch, Del comes clean and tells Rodney about Blossom, as well as the whole Peckham Pouncer story being all made up. Del promises to make it up to Rodney by taking him out for a big slap-up meal after giving him a shower, but Rodney informs him, as his older brother is taking a sip of his scotch and water, that he's not going to stand under the water after what he's been doing in it.