Walts
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Walter Mitty - wannabe, bluffer, nuisance. It comes from 'The Secret Life of Walter Mitty', written by humorist James Thurber and published in The New Yorker in 1941.
An individual who believes, or wishes others to believe, that he or she is something they are not. Walts usually go Paintballing, Airsoft or Reenactment. The term is in apparently common usage in the British Army. Walts are known to frequent internet forums stating that they are in the Rangers, SAS, Delta Force, etc but knowing little if anything about the services which they claim to be part of. Normally walts are easy to discover because of their ignorance of the service and the equipment used. They are also easy to ferret out for they claim to have engaged in major heroics in battle which no one in the service has heard of before (pub walts or forces walts). Also they have been known to have won medals which they didn’t win and couldn’t have one anyway. An example would be a Pub Walt (see below for the definition) who claimed to have been a Bradley Gunner and also claimed to have won a POW medal in the Gulf War. Walts are normally hated by those who actually have served. The American version of the term is "Poser."
[edit] Examples Of Walts
Waltism comes in many forms
- Re-enactment: possibly the most acceptable form of walting, re-enactment is performed by individuals with a keen interest in history who attempt to recreate battles of years gone by to a reasonable degree of accuracy. But still walting wannabes. The closer the chosen period to modern day and the more elite the unit, the bigger the walt. Thus a New Model Army pikeman is a smaller walt than a 95th Rifleman who is in turn a smaller walt than a vietnam Green Beret who is out-walted by a SAS posing bank manager. Perhaps a scale of Re-enactment Walt can be put together.
- Pub walts: These specimens are found at the corner of the bar, nursing a pint of shandy and giving everyone the "thousand yard stare". On questioning they will avoid the issue for 3 seconds before launching into an: "I shouldn't tell you, but just this once......." story of when they were in Bosnia with the SAS.
- Medieval walts: Wear furs and skins, live in tents for fun at the weekend. Disturbingly they have access to swords, halberds, bows, crossbows, medieval siege equipment and an even more disturbing knowledge on how to use them. In their favour they drink like fish.
- Witchcraft walts: Believe they have special powers and spend hours honing their skills with Tarot cards. Known to dance around on the heath at midnight naked. Their only purpose is to provide amusement for others, though they are generally harmless. Better known walts in this category: Richie 'Deep Purple Rainbow' Blackmore - white warlock. David 'related to god' Icke - religious walt.
- Forces walts: Serving members of the forces who pose as something they are not. A classic example are the "faux airborne" who sew wings onto their aprons and claim to have slop jockeyed in 'Nam.
- Ex-Forces walts: Make up stories about their time in uniform to impress their new civilian colleagues &/or employers.
- Retired Officer walts: Occasionally a genuine Officer with mild waltism who blags a single rank up.