Violet Trefusis

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Violet Keppel Trefusis [1] [2] [3] (June 6, 1894 – February 29, 1972) was an English writer and socialite. Most of her fame derives however from her lesbian affair with Vita Sackville-West, which was featured under disguise in Virginia Woolf's Orlando.

1 Youth
2 Her affair with Vita Sackville-West
3 Further Reading About the Affair
4 ... still half a century to go
5 Other links:

[edit] Youth

She was the daughter of courtesan Alice Keppel, a mistress of King Edward VII of the United Kingdom. Although she bore this surname until she married, it was all but certain that George Keppel was not her biological father. A banker by the name of William Becket seems the more probable choice, but her mother had taken several lovers during that time, and there are several candidates. Throughout her childhood Trefusis was witness to her mother's numerous lovers, all prominent powerful men of the day.

Violet lived her early youth in London, where the Keppel family had a house in Portman Square. When she was four years old, a new figure appeared in her life: Albert Edward (Bertie), the Prince of Wales, who became King Edward VII on January 22, 1901. Although both Albert and Keppell were married, Alice Keppel had become one of Bertie's favorites, and one of his two final mistresses, the other being humanitarian Agnes Keyser. He paid visits to the Keppel household in the afternoon around tea-time (while her husband, who was aware of the affair, was conveniently absent), on a regular basis till the end of his life in 1910. Discretion was a hallmark of Alice Keppel.

In 1900 Violet's sister, Sonia, was born (this time in all probability a real Keppel).

From early in the new century on, Easter holidays were spent in Biarritz in "Kingy"'s train.

[edit] Her affair with Vita Sackville-West

Violet Trefusis, even at an early age, demonstrated traits of lesbianism. Although she was involved with other women of the time, she may be best remembered today for her lesbian love affair with the wealthy Vita Sackville-West, having figured in Virginia Woolf's novel Orlando. A romanticised biography of Vita, Violet appears in it as the Slavic Princess Sasha, under a seductive layer of fantasy and irony.

This was not the only account of this love affair, which appears in reality to have been very much more strenuous than Woolf's enchanting account: both in fiction (Challenge by Vita and Violet, Broderie Anglaise a roman à clef in French by Violet) as in non-fiction (Portrait of a Marriage by Vita with extensive "clarifications" added by her son Nigel Nicolson) further parts of the story appeared in print.

And then there are still the surviving letters and diaries written by the partakers in the plot (apart from those of the two central players also those from Alice Keppel, Victoria Sackville-West, Harold Nicolson, Denys Trefusis, Pat Dansey,...).

Probably the most conclusive overview of the whole story can be found in Diana Souhami's Mrs Keppel and her Daughter (1996), ISBN 0-312-15594-8. In headlines:

When she was 10, Violet met Vita (who was two years older) for the first time. After that they went to the same school for several years, and fell in love.
In 1910, after the death of the King (Edward VII), Mrs Keppel made her family observe a "discretion" leave of about two years, before re-establishing themselves in British society: upon returning the Keppels moved to another address (Grosvenor Street).
By the time Violet returned to London, Vita was about to be engaged to Harold Nicolson and frequented Rosalind Grosvenor. Vita still demanded exclusivity from Violet, which corresponded with what Violet felt for Vita. But Violet wanted to get rid of hypocrisy, especially the hypocrisy of marriage (and all that went with it in those days). This didn't stop Vita from marrying Harold (October 1913), who, in his turn, didn't stop his homosexual adventures for marriage.
April 1918 Violet and Vita refreshed and intensified their bond. Vita had two sons by now, but these were left in the care of others when Vita and Violet left for a holiday in Cornwall. Meanwhile Mrs Keppel was busy arranging a marriage for Violet with Denys Trefusis. A few days after the armistice Vita and Violet went away to France for several months. Because of Vita's exclusivity claim, and her own loathing of marriage, Violet made Denys promise never to have sex with her, as a condition for marriage. So, just before summer of 1919 they married. The end of that year Violet and Vita made a new two-month excursion to France: ordered to do so by his mother in law, Denys got Violet back from the south of France when new gossip about Vita's and Violet's loose behaviour began to reach London.
The next time they left, in 1920, was seen by Violet as a final elopement, but Vita had called for rescue, which was provided by Denys and Harold arriving in a two-seater airplane. An insinuation by Harold that Denys and Violet might have had sex just before leaving for France, provided Vita the excuse she needed to leave Violet where she was, because this meant that Violet had broken Vita's exclusivity claims.
As Mrs Keppel desperately tried to keep scandal away from London, where Violet's sister, Sonia, was about to be married (paving her way to become, together with Roland Cubitt, a grandparent to Camilla Parker Bowles), the final stage of the affair also starts in France, still in 1920, where Violet seeks refuge with Pat Dansey, a mutual friend of hers and Vita's. Vita soon arrives, but wins Pat to her side (which is: begins an affair with her), annoying Violet even more.

Beaten, Violet returns to her mother, and a life with Denys which at first she experiences as claustrophobic.

A few years, and some postludes, later it becomes increasingly clear that Violet's concepts of romantic love lived to the fullest in an accepting social context were not to come true. The more traditional concept of an upfront marriage with hidden extra-marital adventures to complete it - as it had been lived by Mrs Keppel, and would continue to be lived by Vita and Harold - proved immensely stronger for many years to come.

An essential difference between Mrs Keppel and Vita seems to be that Mrs Keppel made a trade of never distressing her lovers (and their marriages), thus advancing her family socially and financially, while Vita caused broken hearts more than once: for her marriage was rather the refuge she could always come back to after periods of abandonment.

As a side-note it might appear not so surprising that, notwithstanding some general changes in social context by that time, the inherent unresolved tensions of all three models (Violet's, Mrs Keppel's and Vita's) - including mothers taking sides in view of a socially acceptable solution - reappeared in the Diana - Camilla - Charles triangle - surely not so exceptional in this respect.

By 1922 the affair had drawn to a close, although there were later encounters between the two former lovers (most of these after the publication of Virginia's Orlando in 1928) and those encounters still had the power to send gusts of panic through the Nicolson household.

[edit] Further Reading About the Affair

There have been extensive writings on the affair, many reflecting what is believed to have been the mistreatment of Trefusis by Sackville-West. Most reflect that Trefusis was completely engulfed and overwhelmed by the affair, as was Sackville-West, but that it was Sackville-West who was in control, ultimately. Jullian Phillipe wrote Violet Trefusis: A Biography, Including Correspondence with Vita Sackville-West, which was released in paperback in 1985. Other writings on the affair include the Jullian Phillipe and John Phillips book, The Other Woman, A Life of Violet Trefusis, and Mrs. Keppel and Her Daughter by Diana Souhami. [4]

[edit] ... still half a century to go

From 1923 on Violet became one of the many lovers of the Singer sewing machine heiress Winnaretta Singer, daughter of Isaac Singer and wife of the homosexual Prince Edmond de Polignac, who introduced her to the artistic beau-monde in Paris -Violet conceding more and more to her mother's model of being socially acceptable, but at the same time not wavering on her sexuality.

Singer, as Sackville-West had, dominated the relationship, although not in a bad way it seems. The two were together for many years, and seemed to have had a healthy and happy relationship. Trefusis' mother, Alice Keppel, did not object to this affair, most likely due to the wealth and power of Singer, and the fact that Singer carried on the affair in a much more disciplined way. Trefusis seemed to prefer the role of submissive, and therefore fit with Singer well, as she was typically dominant and in control in her relationships. Neither were completely faithful during their long affair, but unlike her affair with Sackville-West, this seemed to have had no negative effect on their relationship.

In 1924 Mrs Keppel bought L'Ombrellino, a large villa overlooking Florence, where once Galileo Galilei had lived. Eventually, after her parent's death in 1947, Violet would become the chatelaine of L'Ombrellino, till the end of her life.

In 1929, Denys Trefusis died, quite estranged from his seemingly unfeeling wife. After his death, Violet published several novels, some in English, some in French, that she had written in her medieval "Tour" in Saint-Loup-de-Naud, Seine-et-Marne, France - a gift from Winnaretta.

During the Second World War, in London, Violet participated in the broadcastings of ([5]) La France Libre, which earned her a Légion d'Honneur after the war.

Nancy Mitford said that Violet's autobiography should be titled Here Lies Violet Trefusis, and partly based the character of Lady Montdore in Love in a Cold Climate on her.