University of St Andrews Football Club

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St. Andrews University F.C.
Full name	St Andrews University Men's Football Club
Nickname(s)	The Saints
Founded	1887
Ground	University Park St. Andrews Fife
Capacity	?
Manager	Austin Mcphee
League	Fife Amatuer Division 1
Home colours 　 Away colours

Formed in the late 19th Century. The Club currently have 3 teams participating in the Fife Amateur League (Saturday) and in the BUSA League (Wednesday).

Contents 1 History 2 Traditions 2.1 Songs 2.2 Donkey Jacket 2.3 Golden Boot 2.4 Initiation 3 Characters 3.1 Early 90's 3.2 Late 90's 3.3 Early 00's 4 Myths and Legends 4.1 Early 90's 4.2 Late 90's 4.3 Early 00's 5 "Famous" Ex-Players 6 Past Club Captains

[edit] History

The Club fully affiliated to the Scottish Football Association (SFA) in 1907, playing Senior Football until it allowed its membership to lapse in 1939. Since then the University Teams' have been playing in the local Amateur league.

In the early 20th Century the four 'Ancient' Universities (Aberdeen, Edinburgh, Glasgow and St. Andrews) were given a bye into the 3rd qualifying round of the Scottish Cup. St. Andrews debuted in 1907 againt the Vale of Atholl in front of 1000 spectators at University Park.

The Club have appeared in the Scottish Cup proper on three occasions losing 10-1 to Cowdenbeath in 1923, 3-0 at home to Bathgate in 1929 and 6-1 away to Nithsdale Wanderers in 1930.

[edit] Traditions

[edit] Songs

• Away the Lads - To the tune of 'Blaydon Races.' Origination unknown
  

• I Can't Read - To the tune of (?) Origination unknown
  
• Only You - Chart hit by (?) introduced by the 1990 squad. Last known rendition at University Park in 1996.
  
• Blue and White Stripes of St. Andrews - To the tune of 'The oldest established crap game in New York' from Guys and Dolls. Written by Andrew Wilson ('00) circa 1998 and memorably performed by him at the 2002 Football Club ball.
  
• We're Blue, We're White - To the tune of 'The Quartermaster's Store.' Origination unknown.

[edit] Donkey Jacket

Introduced in 2002. Taking inspiration from Celtic's award of a 'Donkey t-shirt', the team votes on a 'Donkey' of the week after each game. The 'winner' must then wear the Donkey Jacket (variously - a yellow puffa jacket; tartan suit jacket and a red boiler suit) until the next game. If said person is spotted around St. Andrews by a fellow team member without the jacket, an extra shot is added to the 'Donkey's' dirty pint which is consumed after the next game.

[edit] Golden Boot

Introduced in (?) Awarded annually at the Ball to the Club member who successfully eloped with the largest volume of "desirables". Lifetime achievement award given to Chris Brayford ('98) in 2005.

[edit] Initiation

Introduced in (?). Every Fresher who joined the Football Club had to be "initiated". This would comprise of many things, but the main element was the "Fish and Chips" ruse. After the first away game of the season, the Club Captain would announce as the bus neared Guardbridge that we were going for Fish and Chips in Guardbridge on club funds. The bus would empty, then the senior players would somehow try to get back on the bus without the Freshers cottoning on and then drive off leaving the youngsters to scratch their heads. With the advent of the mobile phone, this part of the initiation was made more difficult, as Freshers could just phone a taxi. To counter this, a plan was devised to keep hold of the valuables that they had given up before the game until the bus returned to St Andrews.

Particularly successful attempts were those on Ross Chanin (JYA '03) and Andreas Reitzel ('04).

On our way into St Andrews from the Anstruther side, the bus driver agreed to our sillyness and played an oscar nominating role in the prank. About 3 miles away from St Andrews, the driver somehow made a large noise which could feasibly have come from the bus, then pulled the bus over. Ross was all too happy to help out, going round the back of the bus and looking under the exhaust for an apparant problem as his team "mates" ran back onto the bus and sped off. Ross, having no idea where he was ran in front of the next passing car, which screeched to a halt and gave him a lift back to the pub.

Andreas on the other hand was left in Guardbridge on his own without his phone or wallet. Having played 90 minutes in Queensferry on a pitch more suited to downhill skiing than football (a reference to it's incline, rather than the weather) managed to run the 3 3/4 miles back to St Andrews in around half an hour!

[edit] Characters

Some member's were the life and soul of the Club on and off the park. During their St. Andrews careers they left an indelible mark on the club and on their peers.

[edit] Early 90's

[edit] Late 90's

[edit] Early 00's

[edit] Myths and Legends

Over the year's some event's off the park have become part of the Club's folklore with stories passed on from generation to generation:

[edit] Early 90's

Ryan Cameron's Media Highlight

Wolfenson Brother's Caged

[edit] Late 90's

Gilder Ends Peebles' Career

[edit] Early 00's

Liv the Impaler

Moir See's Red Again, and Again, and Again

It was early 2002, and St Andrews had made a trip to Buckhaven to play bottom of the league Buckhaven Town in a must win league game. Captain Stu Turnbull ('03) fielded an attacking side, starting with three at the back and five in midfield. Drawing 0-0 at half time, changes were made which saw the introduction of David Moir ('03) in the middle of the park. Within minutes of being on, the feisty Moir was in the referee's book for a rash tackle. Dave, who was apparantly pissed off at not being in the starting eleven, continued to take out his anger on the opposition and the referee. After another knee high challenge the rather corpulent official dug into his pocket again, producing a second yellow card then a red. David was quite obviously not amused.

Moir: "F**k off you fat c**t."

At this point the referee announced that would be included in his match report and that was 2 red cards. Moir wasn't finished.

Moir: "F**k your report you fat s**t".
Ref: "That's three red cards, please leave the field of play".
Moir: "You should be f**king leaving the field of play after this performance ya f**king d**k".
Ref: "Right that's 4."
Moir: "Fu**k off to your fat wife, and have her bake you a f**king cake ya pr**k!"
Ref: "That's 5!"

At this point the rather bemused skipper trotted over.

Turnbull: "What's going on?"
Ref: "This player has now received 5 red cards for his actions towards me"

And finally, the icing on the cake:

Moir: "Why don't you make it 6 you fat lump of lard"

Shortly after David was particularly unwell and his ban was negotiated to be reduced to just 3 games as opposed to the rightful punishment of a 3 year ban from football and a holiday in Methil.

Stewart's Revenge Mission Leads to Knock-out Blow

It was a home league match in 2004 against the 'aggressive' Methilhill Strollers. Left-back Neil Stewart ('05) was frustrated after seeing team-mate Scott McMaster (DNG) kicked off the ball by Methilhill's centre-midfielder and felt the need to exact revenge. Instead of going in hard at the next challenge, Stewart chased down the offending midfielder and attempted to 'half' him. In the event it was a poorly executed wimpish kick. A brawl ensued with the opposition substitute goalkeeper relishing the opportunity to punch students with impunity given that sort-legged ref Tam Bisset was never likely to brandish a card.

After a few minutes and the offending midefielder making a slit throat gesture towards Stewart, the game resumed with a goal kick. As the player's kept an eye on the ball, a blood-curdling crack from the team's left-back area drew their attention. There they saw Neil Stewart prone on the floor with the aforementioned Methilhill midfielder trotting away. Concerned that being kicked by a student would lead to abuse and questions about his masculinity, the Fifer headbutted the unsuspecting Stewart off the ball leaving him concussed with blood pooring from his face. While Saint's players attended to their stricken left-back, referee Bisset admitted he 'didnae see it' and he 'couldnae do anything about it.' While Stewart was unwell, he still managed to enjoy the evening's drinking festivities through a straw.

The away match had quite a build up with the league promising a strong referee and league representation to ensure the safety of the University players. In the event, the game was particularly tame and ended in a 2-2 draw.

[edit] "Famous" Ex-Players

• Presley Orhue Cowdenbeath 2003-04 (1 app, 0 Goals)
  
• Matt Dyer East Fife 1996-99 (44 app, 16 Goals)
  
• Ryan Cameron East Fife 1996-97 (15 app, 1 Goal)
  
• Dave Young Raith Rovers 1992-94 (? app, ? Goals)

• PW Dirkin earned two Scottish Amateur Caps, both against Ireland in 1951 and 1952

[edit] Past Club Captains

2006-2007 Jeff Flis
2005-2006 David MacAulay
2004-2005 Neil Stewart
2003-2004 Richard Watson
2002-2003 Fraser Wilson
2001-2002 Chris Hull
2000-2001 Richie Walker
1999-2000 Andrew Wilson
1998-1999 Chris Keay
1997-1998 Simon Taylor
1996-1997 John Wild
1995-1996 James Edge
1994-1995 Alwyn Bell
1993-1994 Jonathan Arana
1992-1993 Mark Gray
1991-1992 Alan Marshall
1990-1991 Cameron Brown