Translations for Haley in Order of the Stick

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In strip number 247 of The Order of the Stick, Haley Starshine loses all ability to speak English and instead speaks in cryptograms after the Weary Travelers Inn in Nowhere blew up, destroying all her "hard-earned" treasure. The translations can be found below.

Spoiler warning: Plot and/or ending details follow.

[edit] Translations

  • #247 — It's Just Aphasia She's Going Through
    • Panel 4 — TREASURE!
    • Panel 5 — Gone! All of it, gone! I can't believe it's all gone! I got eaten by a dragon for that freakin' treasure!
    • Panel 6 — I got vomited up! By a disgusting acid—breathing dragon! And now it's GONE!
    • Panel 7 — Not THE loot, MY loot! Mine!
    • Panel 8 — Wait, why do I sound funny? Hello? Hello?
    • Panel 10 — What? No! Don't you dare!
    • Panel 11 — Sneak attack boot to the face!
    • Panel 12 — Darn straight.
  • #248 — Blame The Hormones
    • Panel 3 — It means my speech is all funny—sounding.
    • Panel 4 — Come again?
    • Panel 6 — Can somebody get please get weepy transsexual off me?
  • #249 — Return of the Trouser Titan
    • Panel 1 — Maybe you're right... (Note: Typo in Maybe. Letters in comic don't match.)
  • #250 — Oh no, he DIDN'T!
    • Panel 4 — Liar (Note: only one 4 letter word leaves the door open for many interpretations. This seems most logical.)
  • #251 — A Piece of His Mind
    • Panel 2 — You call it the———
    • Panel 4 — Ten gold says she cries (Note: Typo in gold, Gols in comic)
    • Panel 8 — Yeah!
  • #260 — Prison Blues
    • Panel 2 — Come on, baby, open for mommy...
  • #262 — All You Need is Love and Improvised Thieves' Tools
    • Panel 1 — You stupid lock! Open! Why won't you open??
    • Panel 2 — Going to kill you...
    • Panel 3 — I hate Amazing—quality locks!!
    • Panel 7 — Gee, thanks, no pressure there.
    • Panel 8 — Damn it! OPEN!!
    • Panel 11 — I am totally in love with you.
  • #264 — I Cannae Tell A Lie
    • Panel 1 — Wait. Listen!
    • Panel 2 — Back in the cells! Back! BACK!
  • #268 — The Lawyers Strike Back
    • Panel 4 — Ewww, gross.
  • #269 — A Familiar Face
    • Panel 2 — Fantastic!
  • #275 — The Crayons of Time: World 2.0
    • Panel 2 — Huh?
  • #277 — The Crayons of Time: Breaking Up Is Hard To Do
    • Panel 16 — Are we back??
  • #284 — Shattered Expectations
    • Panel 3 — What?
    • Panel 5 — No, wait, that verdict doesn't make sense. Laws don't work that way. (Note:Typo in comic. Had Daws.)
    • Panel 6 — I've seen enough of my Thieves' Guild friends sent to prison to know that this should have been a conviction.
    • Panel 9 — But...but it doesn't make any sense!
    • Panel 10 — No! I'm not OK, this whole thing made NO SENSE!
    • Panel 11 — We WERE guilty! It should have been a guilty verdict! I can understand if they wanted to reduce the sentence due to the circumstances, but it should have been a guilty verdict.
    • Panel 12 — Oh, never mind, I don't know why I'm bothering.
    • Panel 13 — Wait——Elan, what did you just say?
    • Panel 14 — Oh my gods, Elan! That's it! Elan, you're a genius!
  • #285 — A Moment of Truth
    • Panel 11 — You can't understand me, so let me just say that you're a frigid bitch and your thighs look fat in that armor.
  • #291 — Not To Mention Little League
    • Panel 1 — I thought you said your dad was dead?
  • #296 — Boons
    • Panel 3 — Because even I'm sick of translating these things (Note: Translating is a little messed up.)
  • #298 — The Future Is Forged In The Fires Of Today
    • Panel 7 — Ahhhh!
  • #303 — Phrenology Today
    • Panel 11 — Bwa ha ha ha ha ha ha ha *snort* ha ha ha ha!
    • Panel 12 — Ha ha ha ha ha!
  • #309 — My Dinner With Elan
    • Panel 3 — Elan, I'm in love with you.
    • Panel 5 — Elan, I'm in love with you. Completely in love.
    • Panel 7 — My dad is being held ransom by an evil dictator. I'm not really in the Thieves' Guild anymore.
    • Panel 9 — I cheat at solitaire. I have a tattoo you've never seen. I kissed a girl once. OK, OK, more than once!
    • Panel 11 — Elan, it turns out I may not be exactly what you would call——
  • #316 — The Moment of Truth
    • Panel 19 — Happy New Year.
  • #320 — Bing Crosby's Got Nothing On Us
    • Panel 7 — Yes.
    • Panel 8 — Yes.
  • #330 — Paid In Full
    • Panel 3 — I guess there's no point in me asking a question.
    • Panel 4 — You can understand me?
    • Panel 5 — Huh?
  • #331 — For The Future
    • Panel 8 — What can I do to restore my speech?
  • #340 — You Should Have Seen What He Did With The Corsage
    • Panel 2 — Three hundred forty strips and we're STILL making cheap rule revision jokes. Gods, we suck. (Note:Gods as Yods in strip)
  • #351 — Pop Quiz, Hotshot
    • Panel 5 — Here, Kitty, Kitty, Kitty.
  • #361 — Framing The Picture
    • Panel 4 — Holy crap! It's Nale!
    • Panel 5 — Stop listening to yourself speak for once and LOOK where I'm SHOOTING!
  • #384 — Words Get in the Way
    • Panel 5 — Is that supposed to be some sort of joke? Because I can't speak? If so, it wasn't very funny.
  • #386 — Not How She Pictured It, Certainly
    • Panel 11 — NALE??? or WHAT???
    • Less likely, ELAN???
Spoilers end here.
 v • d • e 
The Order of the Stick by Rich Burlew
Characters: Roy Greenhilt | Durkon Thundershield | Haley Starshine | Elan | Vaarsuvius | Belkar Bitterleaf | Xykon
Character lists: General list | Linear Guild
Locations: General list
Miscellaneous: Haley's pseudo-language
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