User talk:Thor Andersen
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[edit] Interview
These are somewhat jokey questions. Most of our interviews are kinda like Ali G or the Onion. So here we go. Answer in whatever way you feel will be most funny so that people who have never heard of you will laugh at the funniness and then check out your myspace page because they were so entertained. Thor - Guitar Scott - Bass Anastasia - Farfisa Paul - Drums Bob $tencil - Pilot/Swinger/Talent/MC
1 What are your influences?
B.$.: Alcohol mostly, Anything that I've ever done that was worth doing, I did under the influence of alcohol, God, I'd hate to imagine flying a plane sober.
Paul : I was with Bob one time while he was driving a car sober and we ran into a McDonald's playplace. The only survivor besides myself and Bob were one of the fry kids. Grimace was in critical condition for a few days but his wife pulled the plug... Something about not wanting to live life as a vegetable in his will, which is weird becuase I thought that's what he was. I think a lot of human people were hurt/killed as well.
Scott: Japanese Women.
Paul : Ironically my main influence woule be drunk Japanese women. and Godzillas.
Anastasia: My grandmother. She always told me that there is something good in everyone- a philosophy that has helped me deal with everyday life. Bob Stencil, however, is pure evil. There is nothing in that man but gin, tonic, cigarette smoke for a soul, and viagra (trust me, I know....).
2 What are your inspirations?
B.$.: The Children, I do it for the kids, There is somthing so special that happens when I look into a child's eyes and they look back at my shades, and I know that in their tiny little child brain they're thinking "Wow , there goes Bob $tencil, walking out my mommie's room, with the babysitter, they must have really given it to my mommy right, daddy never makes her moan like that." I just cannot put into words how much it warms my heart to see the happy looks on kids' faces when they realize that, Bob $tencil had hot wild sex with their mother, babysitter, or sister back from college.
Scott: Japanese Women.
Paul : Hallucinojesus, my personal savior, is responsible for all my creative input into anything.
Anastasia: Scott. His outpsoken thirst for Japanese women inspires me to speak out against Bob Stencil to someone other than my therapist. I really really hate that man, whose only passions are gin, tonic, and the subjugation of women.
3 What are your aspirations?
B.$.: Well I've done alot, but there's always new cherry blossoms to polinate, if you get my meaning... ...I'm trying to say that there is a constant supply of girls turning 18 for me to have sex with, there I said it, Jesus, what is this, an Auboob Grab interrogation?
Thor: Mine's actually a variant on the word, an asspiration, which is a flatus expelled through the anus.
Scott: Japanese Women.
Paul : I saw Scott and Bob double team this girl in Japan once under a cherry blossom tree. I guess this just reminded me of that.
Scott: It must have been Bob and someone else...all I wanna do is lay in bed and admire their asain beauty for hours on end. Of course then I'll throw in the Pinky Vilonce dvd set afterwords.
Anastasia: To someday kill Bob Stencil.
4 Have you ever seen an apparition?
Thor: A couple times, I think. I remember the 1997 apparition of the Hale-Bopp comet. There was a group of europop web designers with a Nike endorsement that hitched a ride with that one. It was kind of a big deal back then. They were from San Diego like us, and most people around here didn't really know that you could do that.
B.$.:In early 1967, I was flying the Beatless across the Atlantic when off to the portside at about 2 o'clock I saw Lucille Ball just floating in the sky and she had a shitload of diamonds, the guys saw her too, John Lennon ended up writing a song about it called "I am the Walrus."
Scott: Yes, when God told me to start a band to get sex from Japanese Women.
Paul : I killed a guy once. Does that count?
Anastasia: I once saw a blurry figure of a man in my bedroom when I was eleven years old. I woke up to him sitting in the chair by my bed, his one hand holding a glass filled with some sort of ghostly liquid and his other hand was out of my range of vision, probably in his lap or something. I'm pretty sure I screamed because the next thing I knew, my lights were switched on and my father ran into my room with a shotgun, yelling in broken English, "I call cops next time, Pencil!". It was so weird.
5 What's the worst thing you can put on a job application?
Thor: Diarrhoea -- Keep your application clean of the stuff unless you definitely don't want a callback. Actually, I recommend eating some toast if you're having that problem. It'll add some bulk to your bolus.
B.$.: A What?
Scott: That "pringles" are your biggest weakness. They're not my biggest weakness though, mine's the smell of new clothes and candy. BTW, how did you get your piloting job Bob? Id really like to know...
B.$. In the mid 60's, I was at this place called "The Castle" in Los Feliz with Andy Warhol and The Doors. Andy said that he could make anyone a pilot for at least fifteen minutes, so I said "make me a pilot." So, as a joke, Warhol writes a letter to Braniff saying that he'll do a comercial for them if they make me a pilot. 3 months later I was up in the sky. Ya know, now, theres a whole lot of "laws," "rules,""regulations," and "training" but back then, you only needed two things to be a pilot, balls.
Paul : the truth, especially when pertaining to felony records and/or drug history.
Anastasia: If this was the 50's, then I defintelly wouldn't mention my Russian heritage. Then again, if this was the 50's, I'd be in Russia standing in a line for goat's milk while drinking rubbing alcohol for vodka. The one job I "applied" for in Russia required a skillfully taken photograph and a couple of sentences discussing my love for rich American men and my cooking, cleaning, and sexing skills.
6 What's your favorite aquisition?
B.$.: I'm not sure either doggy style or reverse cow-girl.
Paul : That Spanish one that Mel Brooks sang about. looked pretty cool. I have to agree with Bob on the ol reverse cow-girl as well. That takes me back.
Thor: I'd go with floating on my back.
Scott: hmmm, Id have to say either christmas or my birthday. Last year Bob got me a subscription to Fruits magazine and a fireplace DVD.
Anastasia: Real vodka.
6 What do you think of my questions?
B.$.: Hey man the way I see it, There are no stupid questions just horny girls, home from college, for me to have sex with.
Thor: I thought you said they were supposed to be funny.
Scott: They're.........'bout 2 million.
Paul : Don't look to me for confidence. It's not my fault you weren't raised well.
Anastasia: I'm not used to this being "asked" things. In Russia I was always told what to think and in this country, Bob Stencil usually tells me what he wants me to do in his kitchen and bedroom. Does he not realize his contract was up 4 years ago?!?!?? Anyway, I think your questions were wonderful.
