There Won't Be Trumpets

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For the Stephen Sondheim song, see Anyone Can Whistle

Desperate Housewives
“There Won't Be Trumpets”
Tom, Lynette and Bree at Mama Solis' funeral.
Episode No.	Season 1 (2004-2005) Episode 17, 1-17
Writer(s)	John Pardee and Joey Murphy
Director	Jeff Melman
Original Airdate	April 3, 2005 (ABC)
Episode chronology
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“The Ladies Who Lunch”	“Children Will Listen”

"There Won't Be Trumpets" is the 17th episode of the ABC television series, Desperate Housewives. The episode was the 17th episode for the show's first season. The episode was written by John Pardee and Joey Murphy and was directed by Jeff Melman. It originally aired on Sunday April 3, 2005.

1 Guest Starring
2 Episode recap
3 Quotes
4 Note
5 Title reference
6 International Titles

[edit] Guest Starring

Doug Savant as Tom Scavo
Shawn Pyfrom as Andrew Van De Kamp
Joy Lauren as Danielle Van De Kamp
Marlee Matlin as Alisa Stevens
Lupe Ontiveros as Juanita "Mama" Solis
Albie Selznick as Dennis Stevens
Rick Ravanello as Bill Cunningham
Jeff Doucette as Father Crowley
Dagney Kerr as Nurse Ruth Ann
Mark L. Taylor as Mr. Steinberg
Aria Wallace as Lily Stevens
Brent Kinsman as Preston Scavo
Shane Kinsman as Porter Scavo

[edit] Episode recap

Spoiler warning: Plot and/or ending details follow.

Mama Solis awakes from her coma and runs to call Carlos. However she slips on the freshly washed hospital floor and falls down the stairs. A nurse finds her but cannot hear what she is saying. Mama Solis dies shortly after. Carlos takes the news of his mother's death hard since she died so suddenly. Gabrielle quietly celebrates Mama's death since she can no longer pester Gabby and also not tell Carlos about her affair with John. Meanwhile, Bree and Rex find out that Andrew was caught doing drugs again and that he ran over the school's parking attendant when he refused to cooperate. Therefore, Andrew was expelled from school. Bree decides that a punishment is in order and plans to send him to deprogramming camp. At the funeral (which all of the housewives attend), Gabrielle is shocked to see the tribute Carlos has put together for his mother which includes a horse drawn carriage carrying her remains and an expensive crypt. Gabrielle tells Carlos that they cannot afford the funeral he arranged and that "at least Mama will have a roof over her head".

The following day, Lynette plays tennis with another mom who is deaf and her husband. She sees that they both have problems and that her husband uses her handicap as an advantage. Lynette then confronts him but is told to mind her own business. Susan decides to date one of the construction workers who is building Edie's home. When Edie tells her to stay away from Bill, Susan goes on a date with him anyway which leads to an argument with Edie. In the middle of the night, Bree and Rex surprise Andrew by sending him to the camp and as Andrew is being taken away, Bree goes to hug him but is spit on by him.

[edit] Quotes

Bree: Andrew, I need you to take out the trash.
Andrew: Sure.
Bree: Now, not five hours from now.
Andrew: I'm going, I'm going. God! Um, I'm meeting Justin at the mall tonight so I'm gonna need forty bucks.
Bree: No!
Andrew: What?
Bree: You no longer get an allowance.
Andrew: Fine. I'm not taking out the trash.
Bree: (exasperated) Andrew.
Andrew: What are you gonna do, torture me? Go ahead, I can take it.
Bree: What I want, what I have always wanted is for you to be happy. And you're not. And I have no idea how to help you.
Andrew: Well, you can start by getting out of the way.
Bree: I will not. We're gonna talk about this now.
Andrew: I said get out of the way!
(after Andrew pushes Bree, Rex throws him against the wall)
Rex: The next time you touch your mother like that again, I will throw you right through this wall. You understand me?
(Alisa Stevens is a deaf woman)
Alisa Stevens: Dennis left me.
Lynette: What?
Mike: (holding a gun against Susan) If I can't have you, no one can.
Susan: Shut up.
(Mike drops the gun and they start making out)
Tom Scavo: You're always willing to help out, and I admire you for that.
Lynette: You know what I admire you for? You always find a way to compliment me when you could say "I told you so".
(Tom says something in sign language)
Lynette: You just said "I told you so", didn't you?
Tom Scavo: You'll never prove it.

[edit] Note

Although credited, Paul Young (Mark Moses) and Zach Young (Cody Kasch) do not appear in this episode.

[edit] Title reference

The episode title There Won't Be Trumpets is a song written for the Stephen Sondheim musical, Anyone Can Whistle. It was replaced by a dramatic monologue and was not used in the actual musical, though versions have been recorded by Lee Remick, Barbra Streisand, and Bernadette Peters.