The Winchester Tapes
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| M*A*S*H episode | |
|---|---|
| “The Winchester Tapes” | |
| Episode no. | Season – Episode – |
| Guest star(s) | Thomas Carter (Patient) Kimiko Hiroshige (Korean Woman) |
| Writer(s) | Everett Greenbaum, Jim Fritzell |
| Director | Burt Metcalfe |
| Production no. | 605 |
| Original airdate | October 18, 1977 |
| Episode chronology | |
| ← Previous | Next → |
| – | – |
"The Winchester Tapes" is an episode from the TV series M*A*S*H. It was the fifth episode of the sixth season and originally aired October 18, 1977. It was written by Everett Greenbaum and Jim Fritzell and directed by Burt Metcalfe.
Guest cast is Thomas Carter as a patient and Kimiko Hiroshige as the Korean woman.
[edit] Overview
Major Winchester records a taped message to his parents, begging them to do whatever it takes to get him home.
[edit] Detailed story
The show opens with Winchester dictating a message to his parents into his tape recorder. He gives a picture of life at the 4077th and tells his parents that he wants them to get him out, even saying that he has considered shooting himself in the foot. Just then Klinger enters the swamp with his mail, including two letters for Winchester. Winchester opens one of the letters and, reading aloud, discovers that his nephew Felix has received a medical discharge for fainting spells. He describes Felix's symptoms to Klinger who, naturally, capitalizes on this new possibility for a discharge; however, Klinger falls backwards rather than forwards. Klinger says it's just a "false alarm" and proceeds to fall forward on Hawkeye's cot. At that moment, Hawkeye and B.J. walk in to the Swamp. Hawkeye rouses Klinger and, as Potter yells for Klinger to get back to work, opens one of his letters. It turns out to be from a Nurse Gilmore, who is asking Hawkeye to come to Seoul with her for the weekend. Hawkeye is thrilled by this news, but his mood suddenly dampens as Winchester reminds him that he has Officer of the Day duty for the entire weekend. Hawkeye begs Winchester to sub for him, and Winchester finally relents just so he can enjoy the weekend without Hawkeye's presence. As Hawkeye and B.J. leave the tent making plans for Hawkeye's weekend, Winchester resumes his dictation. He explains how repulsive he finds the other Swampmen, then mentions how he's trying to make an impression on Potter to get himself transferred out.
In a flashback, Winchester is shown posing for one of Potter's paintings. Potter comments on his ear, and Winchester repeats his request for a transfer. Potter, of course, refuses. Winchester then exclaims that Potter has made no effort to get him transferred; Potter explains that he has no intention of ever doing so. Tempers flare, and Potter finally hands Winchester his portrait--Winchester is shown screaming and red in the face.
The scene then returns to Winchester's dictation, where he implores his father to use any connections he has to get him out of Korea. He then mentions how a large part of the 4077th's continued smooth operation is dependent upon Radar. In another flashback, Radar is shown in the Post-Op preparing a patient for his discharge from the hospital. The patient asks if he can stay another day, explaining that he'd like to leave with a buddy of his who is being discharged the next day. Radar tells him that he'll work it out, but Winchester overhears and denies the request. Winchester leaves, Hawkeye enters, and Radar tells the patient he'll get it worked out. Hawkeye overrules Winchester, and Radar chats with the patient.
The scene returns to Winchester, now complaining about the humidity. He then explains how he is worried that he upset Radar and since, as Radar's telephone is his only means of communicating with the rest of the world (other than the mail), he must stay on good terms with him. There is another flashback; this time, Winchester is presenting Radar with a case of Grape Nehi, ostensibly in apology for the earlier incident in the Post-Op. Radar figures out what Winchester is up to, and before Winchester even asks Radar tells him that Colonel Potter has forbidden all long-distance phone calls, and that no, it is not an emergency. Winchester is somewhat stunned by this, but ultimately takes back the Grape Nehi and leaves in a huff of anger.
The scene then goes to Hawkeye, looking for pajamas to wear for his weekend in Seoul. Wnchester walks in, and Hawkeye asks him to loan him his. Winchester refuses. He asks B.J., but he has none. Klinger comes in exclaiming that he's found a jeep for Hawkeye; Hawkeye asks him if he has any pajamas, but he doesn't. Klinger is kicked out after offering to loan one of his dresses, and Hawkeye's Korean cleaning lady enters with his laundry. On top of the pile is a pair of pajamas, but they are Winchester's. Winchester and Hawkeye fight over them and finally, when they rip, Winchester lets Hawkeye have them. A call then comes over the P.A. announcing wounded; B.J. has to push Hawkeye out of the swamp and into the hospital tent to get him to work.
Winchester later continues his dictation, describing what he sees as Margaret's split personality, "part seductress and part Attila the Hun." The scene cuts to a flashback in which Margaret is in the scrubroom gushing over Winchester's eloquence and surgical ability. Klinger comes in and repeats his fainting ploy, but neither Major is convinced. As Klinger leaves, Margaret begins washing her hands when she complains that she has something in her eye. Winchester takes a look but sees nothing, so Margaret tells him to come closer. She comments on his small pores, to which Charles says "A Winchester never perspires." He then insists there is nothing in Margaret's eye, but she persists in saying she can feel it. Winchester takes another look, and Father Mulcahy comes in--to him it appears as if they're preparing to kiss each other, so he apologizes for interrupting. Margaret reminds the Padre that she's married and assures him that there's nothing to worry about, but after he leaves she says she doesn't think he was convinced that there was no "hanky-panky". Winchester points out that there wasn't, to which Margaret replies: "Then why are you sweating?" and leaves.
Meanwhile, Hawkeye is plastering a cast on a patient's leg while he sings the praises of Nurse Gilmore. B.J., holding the leg, reminds him to pay attention to what he's doing. Potter comes in and, observing that Hawkeye is covered in plaster, suggests that he plaster the wall, too. Hawkeye asks Potter when he'll be able to leave; Potter agrees to take over for him. However, at that moment Nurse Kelly comes in and informs B.J. that a patient of his has gone into shock and begun bleeding. B.J. explains to Hawkeye that he'll have to operate, which means that there'll be no one to hold the leg of the patient receiving a cast. Hawkeye, irritated, takes the leg, joking that he's "one foot closer to Seoul."
Winchester continues his dictation with a description of Father Mulcahy. In yet another flashback, Winchester enters the shower as Mulcahy is preparing to leave. Mulcahy tells Winchester that one of his patients will recover. Winchester tells Mulcahy not to "pull [his] cross" on him, but Mulcahy explains that the operation Winchester performed on the patient was successful--his prayers for recovery were answered. Winchester then says that he'd rather think that it his surgical skills were responsible, and Mulcahy explains that that was what he had prayed for.
The next scene is another flashback, with B.J. shown replacing Winchester's pants with a much larger pair. Winchester puts them on and, seeing the loose slack, is convinced that he's lost weight. B.J. suggests that it's because he hasn't been eating enough, but Winchester explains that he finds the food disgusting. B.J. tells Winchester that he simply has to ignore it and eventually he'll get used to it; he has Winchester practice on some cake sent to him by his wife. The next day at breakfast he eats everything on his tray in a heartbeat and starts eating others' unwanted food, too. Several weeks later B.J. and Hawkeye again replace Winchester's pants, this time with those of "Beanpole" Levine. Winchester struggles to put them on, but barely manages. He thinks maybe he should start dieting, but B.J. suggests exercise, so he leaves the swamp and takes a jog. After Winchester has left, B.J. says to Hawkeye: "Starting tomorrow, he gets taller."
The scene returns to the OR, with Hawkeye complaining that he should have already been in Seoul for a day. Potter promises Hawkeye that he's on his last patient; meanwhile, Winchester is showing off his surgical technique to Margaret. B.J. complains that he's taking too long, and Hawkeye tells him that he could be done and on his way already if he weren't so unnecessarily thorough. Potter calls for Klinger and asks if there are any more patients. Klinger says there is just one, and then faints on the floor. Potter yells at him to get up, threatening to send him to the front if he tries a fake faint again. Hawkeye finishes with his patient and goes to the Swamp; shortly afterward Klinger comes in to tell him that his jeep will soon be ready to pick him up. Klinger leaves to get the jeep, but while he's gone Hawkeye falls asleep. When Klinger returns he tries to wake Hawkeye, but soon gives up and covers the captain with a blanket.
Later that night Winchester returns to the Swamp to finish his message. He finds Hawkeye asleep and the Swamp quiet. As he pulls a rubber chicken out of his tea pot, he demands to his parents: "Get me the hell out of here!"
| Preceded by: "War of Nerves" |
M*A*S*H episodes | Followed by: "The Light That Failed" |
