The Red Green Show

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The Red Green Show

From left to right, Harold, Red and Bill.
Genre Sitcom
Sketch comedy
Camera setup Single camera
Running time 21 minutes
Creator(s) Steve Smith
Starring Steve Smith
Patrick McKenna
Rick Green
Country of origin Canada
Original channel CBC
Original run 1991–April 7, 2006
No. of episodes 300
Official website
IMDb profile

The Red Green Show is a television comedy that aired on CBC Television in Canada and on PBS in the United States from 1991 until the series finale April 7, 2006 on CBC. Reruns currently air on CBC Television, CBC Country Canada, The Comedy Network, and various PBS stations. It was produced by S&S Productions, which is owned by Steve and Morag Smith and directed by William G. Elliott.

Contents

[edit] The show

The Red Green Show is essentially a cross between a sitcom and a sketch comedy series, and is a parody of home improvement, do-it-yourself, fishing, and other outdoors shows (particularly the Red Fisher Show). Each episode unfolds through a series of comedic sketches, several of which are unrelated to the main plot, but unlike a true sketch comedy, all sketches draw from the same single set of characters. Each actor always plays a single character throughout the show.

The title character, Red Green (Steve Smith), is a lazy handyman who generally tries to find shortcuts to most of his projects, trusting the vast majority of his work to duct tape (which he calls the handyman's secret weapon). He is the president of the Possum Lodge, a fictional men's club in the small town of Possum Lake, Canada, near the also-fictional rival town of Port Asbestos. He and his fellow lodge members have their own TV show (which is more or less the show itself), in which they give humorous lessons and demonstrations in repairwork and outdoor activities (like fishing and camping), and advice for men on relating to women, among other things. The characters Bob & Doug McKenzie, from SCTV's Great White North sketch, are an obvious comparison and a likely inspiration (with Dave Thomas, who played Doug McKenzie appearing on the Red Green Show along with his real life brother Ian Thomas, as Ben & Dougie Franklin).

The show's basic concept is that it is a cable TV show, taped in part on a hand-held camera by Red's nephew Harold, arguably Canada's most famous nerd. The show's structure has evolved over time and now includes several regular segments that appear in almost every show. These segments are interspersed with each episode's three main plot segments, and they include such staples as the "Possum Lodge Word Game", "Handyman Corner", and "Adventures With Bill" (a slapstick home movie-style sketch with a voiceover by Red).

In "Handyman Corner", Red attempts to demonstrate creative and often hilarious ways to tackle relatively common tasks, such as taking out the trash or making use of derelict cars. Memorable examples include a paddlewheeler made out of a van on pallets and a revolving door, a jetpack made from two propane tanks, and a kiddie ride made from a bar stool attached to the agitator of a washing machine. Green often uses duct tape in these projects; in one episode, he even tried to duct tape the Ontario-Quebec border as a potential solution to Quebec separatism. The segment customarily concludes with the aphorism "If the women don't find you handsome, they should at least find you handy."

Red also gives sage advice from behind his fly tying workbench, "Mid-life Musings", usually talking to older men about married life or coping with changing society ("Let's face it," he quips in one episode, "these days, if you're not young, you're old.") This segment always concludes with "Remember, I'm pulling for you. We're all in this together."

"The Possum Lodge Word Game" usually appears as the second or third segment of the show, immediately following the first plot segment. It is structured much like Password and Pyramid, in which the objective is to get a contestant to say a certain word in thirty seconds by giving them various clues. On this program, however, the contestant almost always gives either way off or odd answers through the segment, but finally says the correct word by accident, usually as part of a punch line.

Red often recites small bits of poetry in the woods, and the segments were named depending on the season and a humorous twist on a famous saying. For example, the winter segment was called "Winter of our Discount Tent".

Other regular segments include "The Experts", where Red and another character answer alleged letters from viewers and always give ridiculous advice; Ranger Gord's "educational" safety cartoons; and occasional advice segments by Dalton Humphrey and Mike Hamar. Hap Shaughnessy appears in many segments and always tells outlandish stories about his life — among other things, he claims to have been an astronaut, to have invented television and basketball, and to have once advised Walt Disney on how many fingers to put on Mickey Mouse.

The show usually concludes with Red giving a message to his wife, Bernice (usually a double entendre), and delivering his signature piece of life advice in the form of a hockey metaphor: "Keep your stick on the ice." This is followed by a general meeting of the Possum Lodge membership, which begins with the ritual stating of the Lodge motto: "Quando omni flunkus moritati" (Pseudo-Latin for "When all else fails, play dead"). From Season 6 onward, this is followed by the Man's Prayer: "I'm a man, but I can change, if I have to, I guess."

[edit] History of the show

Smith originally created the character of Red Green for his 1979-1985 sketch comedy series Smith & Smith. The series was a parody of the long-running Canadian outdoors show The Red Fisher Show (1968-1989), starring B.H. "Red" Fisher, in which Red and his friends would show silent films of their fishing trips with commentary at "Scuttlebutt Lodge". The character also appeared in Me & Max and The Comedy Mill before becoming the focus of his own series.

The Red Green Show was produced first by CHCH in Hamilton, Ontario, then by CFPL in London, then by the Global Television Network, before finally finding its permanent home at the CBC for the 1997 season (its seventh) onward.

The show ended April 7, 2006 after its 15th season with exactly 300 episodes. (This longevity inspired a joke in one episode, where Red says "The question is, can you do anything with crap? The answer is obviously yes, we're in our fourteenth season.")

The last episode was filmed on November 5, 2005, at the Showline Studios Harbourside location. At the time the season began taping, the Canadian Broadcasting Corporation was locked out, rendering the show's studios at the Canadian Broadcasting Centre unusable. [1]. The last episode concluded with the show breaking the fourth wall by thanking the audience and fans for their popularity. In addition, the Man's Prayer was changed to "I'm a man / But I changed / because I had to / Oh, well".

The low-budget movie Duct Tape Forever (2002), was based on the Red Green Show. It was screened in select American theaters, but did not receive a wide release. It has since appeared occasionally on PBS stations during pledge drives. In previous years, the show would stage live mini-telethons (sometimes called "Red Green-a-thons") for public television stations in the United States.

Since 2000, Red Green has been the "Ambassador of Scotch® Duct Tape" for 3M. [2]

Smith says he has no intentions of ever reprising his character. However, there is a Red Green cartoon in development, said to be a prequel in which Harold is a teenager.

In May 2006, the seventh season of the show was the first complete season to be released on DVD (there are also six "Stuffed & Mounted" compilations, which draw from many different seasons).


[edit] Characters

NOTE: The technical descriptions of the characters below come from the Red Green DVDs.

[edit] Red Green

  • Actor: Steve Smith
  • Sex: Unashamedly male (some of the time)
  • Eyes: Blue with a touch of wry astigmatism
  • Address: Possum Lodge
  • Weight: Great investment (goes up 10% a year)
  • Date of birth: Christmas Eve, 1945 (almost perfect)(I think)
  • Hair color: Grey mixed with skin tones
  • Aliases: Bernice's Old Man

Harold joked once that he thought that Red was in his early 60's.

Character descriptions by Rick Green

Red Green is the leader of Possum Lodge, Chapter 13, a northern Ontario (Cottage Country) eyesore who's motto is, Quondo Omni Flunkus Mortati (when all else fails, play dead). Red has the down home wisdom of Will Rogers, the rural charm of Garrison Keillor, and about 18 times as much handyman inventiveness as the entire cast of [[Home Improvement]]. Married to the ever-understanding and never seen Bernice, Red has no children, just a television show that's a fishing show, a fix-it show, and a men's advice program all rolled into about 3/4.

Red is the glue that holds the lodge together. He is friendly, inventive, cheap, and as honest as the day is long, which means he's the least honest on December 21st. When he works on his Handyman projects, Red is not stupid, he's just sort of lazy, impatient, and prone to subsitute sub-standard items (such as usiing duct tape instead of nails, screws, bolts, glass, glue, rivets, solder, or welding) so Red's projects are always less than reliable and more than butt ugly.

Red is deeply respectful of his wife Bernice, and quite the opposite of Harold. Viewers trust Red. He is sensible. He scorns fads and fancies. He cuts through the crap. He is everyone's friend and confident, because he is very tolerant. With friends like he has, he has to be.

Bio by Rick Green

Red Green was born up north, in the nether regions, in the years just after WWII but just before the fighting. He was a complete surprise to his father and mother and everyone else at the Dance Contest. His father took one look at him and named him "Red" which was a disappointment for Mom. She wanted to name him "Plaid." She got even when she bought him his first shirt.

Blessed with instinctive common sense, Red stopped growing at the height of 5 foot 8 since the door to the cabin was 5 foot 9. He attended Possum Lake School until he was 20 and then he went to Junior High, which he enjoyed very much until they assigned homework. He immediately left school to join his father's business - collecting unemployment insurance, but there were problems because Red didn't have enough job skills for the government to decide what type of work he was out of.

Eventually Red left home to strike out on his own, which is pretty much what he did. He tried his hand at carpentry and welding and then, while that was healing , he tried his other hand at plumbing and electrical work. In the hospital recovery room he met Bill and became interested in joining Possum Lodge. Around this time Red met his wife Bernice at a church picnic where they had both gone for the free food. Red and Bernice feel instantly in love and got married later that year without even waiting for the results of the pregnancy test.

Red became more and more involved with Possum Lodge and in time became the only guy that nobody hated and was elected Lodge Leader. He needed to refinance the Lodge so Red borrowed a large sum of money from his brother just before he was fired from the bank. Red is still paying his brother back by employing his brother's son Harold as the producer/director/dork of "The Red Green Show."

Currently Red and Bernice are happily married without children and living in suburbia, but Red spends most of his time at Possum Lodge taking care of Lodge business and doing his television show and maintaining a safe distance between himself and the nearest factory outlet mall.

What Happened to Him?

The last seen of him he was in a tuxedo and in a mansion. He still had a beard, though.


[edit] Harold Green

  • Actor: Patrick McKenna
  • Sex: still unknown
  • Eyes: Huge
  • Address: YMCA Possum Lake
  • Weight: Not much (muscle weighs more than fat)
  • Date of birth: When Bobby Fisher won the big chess thing
  • Hair color: Reddish brownish dorky
  • Aliases: Wedgie Boy

Character descriptions by Rick Green

...is Red's nerdy, nebbish, nasal nephew--the son Red never had, and no wonder. Harold is gawky, overeager, overbite, and overly sensitive. He is appalled by most of the behaviour of the lodge members, especially when he is excluded from the fun. Harold is the voice of sanity, of moderation, and of politically correct sentiments--naturally the lodge members hate him. Unfortunately for Red, Harold actually knows a lot about television and computers and technology, so he needs the geek to produce and direct the show. Harold fancies himself the next Spielberg. But the only people who are calling from Hollywood are Fredericks of Hollywood. Harold is an 8 year old trapped in the body of an 18 year old person, possibly male. Harold thinks the show could be great, and is constantly pushing for Red to raise the production standards, improve the quality of guests, and the up the pace. Red suggest Up Yours.

What Became of Him?

"...and Bonnie were slowly taking over the community." They have, so far, one son and daughter.


[edit] Bill Smith

Co-creator of the Red Green Show

He did the early directing, and so had little time to do little else but the Adventures with Bill segments.


'Adventures with Bill' consists of grainy black-and-white home movies, in which Smith indulges in outrageous stunts and (often exceedingly) dangerous activities. Although the segment is mostly silent (with a voiceover by Red) various sound effects are usually heard, as well as small snippets of Smith's voice (usually screams). In later seasons (especially Season 8), Smith can be heard speaking very quietly (although Red's narration is usually overtop of it). A running joke in the series was that Bill never really spoke (apart from the aforementioned small snippets). In The Red Green Book, in a transcript of a typical lodge meeting, Red said that the reason Smith is not heard very well in the 'Adventures' segments is because the camera they use has a poor microphone. In the same transcript, it was revealed that he can be quite a chatterbox when he wants to, often rambling on about subjects no one cares about. He was heard speaking clearly for the first time on the Hindsight is 20/20 special, in which he talks about how his chain-smoking aunt died after coughing up her own lung during Thanksgiving dinner.

The only time Smith has ever appeared in the Lodge itself was in the second season of the show, but he still was not heard speaking.

Red's narration tends to shift back and forth between past and present tense.

Character descriptions by Rick Green

...is an outdoorsman with a difference--he's a walking disaster area, a complete physical klutz. The good news is he's also indestructible... no, wait that's bad news cause it means he keeps coming back and hurting Red. The good news is that he's a complete optimist and laughs in the face of danger... no, come to think of it, that's bad news too, cause it means he always does things the hard way. Bill will try any sport, activity, or challenge, and with such enthusiasm, anyone with twenty feet will also end up being hurt. Bill doesn't really understand the laws of physics, and so sometimes he breaks them accidentally. His weekly Adventure films are like Road Runner cartoons, only in black and white. And slower music. And not quite as believable.

What Became of Him?

He said good-bye to the lodge to live with a beautiful nurse.


[edit] Ed Frid

  • Actor: Jerry Schaefer

Ed is the local animal control officer. Ironically, Ed is deathly afraid of most all animals. (His greatest fear are hamsters. "They're evil. E-vil.") He is featured in The Red Green Show in a segment called "Talking Animals." In this segment, Red tried his best to get the truth about an animal brought in by Frid. Everything always goes wrong and there is normally a panic about how "we're all going to die".

What Became of Him?

"...became the leader of the local animal rights group."


[edit] Buzz Sherwood

Sherwood is a bush pilot in the Possum Lake area. He is very affectionate towards his plane, 'Beauty'. Buzz is a burned-out 1960s hippie who is very laid back.

Character descriptions by Rick Green

...is a burnout from the 60's, a bush pilot who believes in free love, free lunch, and free falling. Yes, he's a speed-freak in that he flies and drives way to fast for his abilities. He's a self taught pilot, who missed most of the classes. After every crash, he asks the same quesiton, "Wow, that was cool! Did you get that on film?" He's an anacrhonism in terms of musical tastes, fashion sense, and vocabularly. Buzz thinks women are still into open relationships--he's stuck in the summer of love in the autumn of life. He's scared of commitment, and of government conspiracies.

What Became of Him?

He was last seen running from the TV camera after he heard about, for the first time, America's Most Wanted.


[edit] Ranger Gord

Gord is the local forest ranger, known for being both handsome and bipolar. He has lived in the local fire watch tower for almost 20 years. He is often the host of Ranger Gord cartoons, in which he is disproportionately muscled and the other characters are animals. These cartoons invaribly end well for Gord (although not necessarily for the other characters) and purport to teach a message of safety. Gord's full name is Gordon Ranger, but prefers not to be called "Ranger Ranger".

Character descriptions by Rick Green

...is a Fire Warden who has been manning his Fire Watch Tower for 16 years without a vacation, a professional development day, or more than five minutes sleep. Naturally this lack of rest has somewhat lowered Ranger Gord's efficiency--he once mistook a log for a naked woman. He's also had no pay cheque for the last 15 years, but when Red suggests head office may have forgotten him he poo-poos the idea with a kind of desperate look in his eyes. Gord has had no visitors, male or especially female, so he's somewhat needy and desperate when anyone shows up. So no one does. Except Red. Ranger Gord is eager to please, "Look Red I opened five cans of creamed corn in honour of your visit." Red never stays long, and Gord tries not to cry or screeam when Red goes...."Come back soon. Good to see you... See you soon. Tomorrow maybe?" Gords only friends are the animals. And the bugs. And the plants. And many rocks. Well, actually the rocks think he's a bit wearing and annoying.


[edit] Bob Stuyvesant

Ostensibly working for the government, Bob spends all of his time playing golf, although he is not very good at it.

Character descriptions by Rick Green

...works for the Ministry of Natural Resources when he isn't playing golf. Even when he is. "I"m not golfing Red, I'm uh, checking the gradient of this land by watching how these balls roll.... Boy, this is some gradient..." If golf is supposed to relax you, then you might well ask, "Why is Bob about to have a stroke?" It's because he's a terrible golfer. He losses ever game, dozens of balls and one or two clubs every time he goes out. Which is four or five times a day. He tries to keep his hips loose, his head down, his arms straight, but then he lashes the ball with his club like someone with a lot of frustration. Bob knows everything there is to know about golf but can't seem to apply it to his own game. Same with women--Bob has been married 4 times. Bob comes from a well to do family, who have cut him off because he has wasted his life with golf. They think he has ruined his life, not to mention 3920 perfectly good golf clubs and an equal number of innocent trees. Bob is an example of how guys can take something fun and ruin it. Did I mention he was married 4 times?

What Became of Him?

He became a golf pro. He is now being paid to play the game.


[edit] Dalton Humphrey

  • Actor: Bob Bainborough
  • Sex: Who cares?
  • Eyes: Shrewd
  • Address: Humphrey's Everything Store when it's closed
  • Weight: That's what Dalton does best
  • Date of birth: When everything was cheap
  • Hair color: Rusty mouse
  • Aliases: Dalton Harumphrey

Dalton, owner of the Humphrey's Everything Store, shows us how bad life can be. He usually complains about his marriage to Ann Marie and in a series of clips aired around the twelfth season, we saw just how some of his life at home is when he would come home late with Red.

Character descriptions by Rick Green

The owner of Dalton Humphries Everything Store has developed incredible fine motor skills from penny pinching. His junk store is filled with crap that's only worth something if you want to buy it. Curmudgeonly Dalton laughs himself silly over Yuppies who pay for crap just cause it has character, but he's delighted to oblige them, and isn't above making things more "antique" with his hammer. Dalton's marriage is like the favourite cardigan he wears--old, stuff, too tight, and unfit for anyone else. The biggest problem in his life is his daughter who spends money like water, "30 doollars for a pair of jeans! Can you believe it?!" Even more infuriating is his daughter's boyfriend, a layabout of the first order. Dalton is dour, sour, but prone to fits of laughter over other people's misery. He doesn't mean to be insensitive, but he tells people exactly what he thinks of them, because they deserve the benefit of his wisdom.

What Became of Him?

"...and Anne Marie took a second chance at happiness by renewing their vows." She wore black.


[edit] Glen Brackston

  • Actor: Mark Wilson

The local marina owner. Brackston is extremely lazy, preferring to avoid actual work whenever possible. His true passion is his recreational vehicle, which he is usually working on whenever Red visits him. He is also a big fan of slot cars. Brackston and his wife have seven daughters.

Character descriptions by Rick Green

...owns Braxton's Marina, which sells, but doesn't service, whatever you want, especially unseaworthy boats or expensive gadgets. He lives at the marina but apparently doesn't work there. Other mechanics stand behind their products, Glen stands behind the shed, hiding, until you leave. He is the world's laziest human being. Makes you wonder how he managed to find the energy to father six girls. Six big strapping girls. They take after Glen's side of the family. A regular WWF card of ladies. The only thing that gets Glen excited is his R.V.. He's put hundreds of hours into fixing it up, pausing only to tell customers the part for their boat hasn't come in yet, (Cause it hasn't been ordered yet.) Glen's R.V. is huge. It's spic and span and ready to go... whenever and wherever you want to go. Glen is looking for any excuse to hit the open road, just ready to go.... To get away... from here....

What Became of Him?

He is semi-retired.


[edit] Dougie Franklin

An American now living in Canada owns the local wrecking yard. Franklin is very proud of his monster truck with dual quads.

Character descriptions by Rick Green

If he didn't own a Monster Truck, he'd be dead by now. Luckily every time he crashes into another vehicle, or building, or roadside attraction, he wins. He only drives a big truck because he knows what kind of message it sends to the ladies. "Women love big trucks, Red." This good old boy from the Deep South moved to Canada cause he thought the speed limits were at 100 miles per hour, instead of kilometers. Opinionated and smug, he thinks Canadians are a bunch of wimps, sissies, and worst of all bad drivers. "Why do you know how many of em I've crashed into since I moved here?" Everything he owns is the best, at least in terms of his vehicles, no expense is spared even if it means foregoing luxuries like a house, or a shed, or clothing. Dougie is an excerpt in two areas of life, Cars and women. "What else is there, really, when you think about it?"

[edit] Ben Franklin

Dougie's brother. Dougie is very jealous of Ben whom he thinks was their mother's favorite of the two.


[edit] Hap Shaughnessy

  • Actor: Gordon Pinsent
  • Sex: Abstainer
  • Eyes: Brown because he's full of it
  • Address: Fantasyland
  • Weight: The more he talks, the lighter he gets
  • Date of birth: Varies with each anecdote
  • Hair color: Unbelievable
  • Aliases: Too numerous to list

Shaughnessy is the local water-taxi captain, but he is more lodge-renowned for his tall tales. For example, he once claimed to have gone whaling in a canoe, riding the whale's tail for "Ten, twenty months", wearing him down. He also claims to have ridden out "Moby Richard", refusing to call him Moby Dick because he "didn't know him that well." He once claimed to have worked on a tiger ranch in Kenya, and that wrote a letter to Gwyneth Paltrow and that he got a response (though Red discovered they had exactly the same handwriting), and that he once filled in for Keith Richards of the Rolling Stones, and that one time he fought Sonny Liston.

Character descriptions by Rick Green

...runs the local ferry boat. That much is true. Everything else he says is pure hooey. But he says it with such aplomb, and he can calmly answers any question, any nitpicker, any naysayer, that he should really be in politics. But then he was, "I used to be King of England...." Spy. Rock star. Astronaut. Inventor. President. Race car driver. Brain surgeon. No matter what you've done, he's done it better, bigger, and with more beautiful women. He knows his stories sound amazing, "If I hadn't seen me kill that rhino with that spoon, I wouldn't have believed it could be done."

What Became of Him?

"...told us he’d been appointed ambassador to Guam. We hoped it was true."


[edit] Mike Hamar

  • Actor: Wayne Robson
  • Sex: Conjugal visits
  • Eyes: Shifty
  • Address: c/o Federal Government Corrections
  • Weight: 143 lb. plus whatever he stole
  • Date of birth: During the post war amnesty
  • Hair color: Shiny
  • Aliases: Mary Butternut

Mike, whose mother is an exotic dancer and who had "between 3 and 7 dads" (his mother was a heavy sleeper), is currently on parole from federal prison where he went after committing a series of petty felonies, apparently various forms of theft. Mike hangs around Possum Lodge because Red is supposed to supervise him as he makes his way back into society at large. Mike can be seen trying to help Red with various projects around the lodge and messing them up even more than Red. While Red's projects may not go as planned, Mike rarely even plans. Mike's multitude of mistakes also leads to his low self-esteem.

Character descriptions by Rick Green

...is a local handyman with a past. Mike is on probation, and is trying desperately to break his old criminal habits. With Red's help Mike is on the straight and narrow, always promising that "I don't do that no more, Mr Green." Mike's life has been difficult even by the standards of most white-trash, jail-bird, drop-out, trailer-park, tattoed, morons. He's small and scrawny, but so sweet and sincere, you can't help but root for him. Everyone wants to help Mike be successful, but it's hard cause he does everything wrong. And when Red points out what he did wrong, Mike loses all his self confidence, "I'm no good, I'm a loser. The judge was right. Big loser." He's so hard on himself, Red ends up trying to cheer him up again, "No, that's okay Mike. The wall looks good with the hole in it." Mike is not dangerous, there's not a mean bone in his body. The problem is that the only thing he's ever come by honestly is his criminal tendencies, being the product of a long line of felons, jailbirds, scam artists, and biker chicks.

What Became of Him?

"...became the Police Chief of Possum Lake. With Mike having a legitimate job, the crime rate dropped to zero."


[edit] Edgar K. B. Montrose

Edgar is the lodge's explosives enthusiast (Though he claims it is only because he watches a lot of Road Runner Cartoons.) He first appeared in The Experts segments in the season 4 episode The Movie Project. He believes that any problem (including leaky roofs, getting rid of weeds; and getting fair service, acting like a suicide bomber) can be solved with explosives.

In The Guard Dog Project, Edgar said that he was born in Santa Boya, Saskatchewan. He also said...

"I didn't fit in with those narrow minded nitpickers. Always saying things like, 'shouldn't you hav a licence to handle explosives?' or 'Shouldn't you be using a longer wick?' or 'where did the schoolhouse go?!'. That sort of thing."

He later enlisted in the Army, and was dishonorably discharged three weeks later for blowing up the main office (turns out they were only thinking of building a new one.)

Due to years of being an explosives enthusiast, Edgar has lost most of his hearing, often leading to non-sensical responses to Red and Harold's questions (example: Red says "What have you brought for us today, Edgar?" and Edgar responds "Oh, just fine, Red"). He is also missing a finger on his left hand. The story about which explosion he lost it in kept changing. He claims that he doesn't have many friends, "and has yet to meet a woman that likes to spend a Saturday night watching him blow a fully grown Douglas Fir tree clean over the lake."

Edgar's middle initials (K. B.) are rumored to stand for Ka Boom, in reference to his excessive usage of explosives. "Ka Boom!" is also his unofficial catch phrase.

Character descriptions by Rick Green

...believes that all of life's problems, big and small can be solved with several well-placed sticks of dynamite. "Your wife left you? Blow up the stove. Otherwise you'll start cooking for yourself and that's dangerous." Edgar is hard of hearing, short several fingers, and not really big on safety, but he remains confident that with enough explosive you can overcome anything life throws at you.

What Became of Him?

"...attempted to make his own heated recliner using plastic explosives. He hasn’t been heard of since." The smoldering remains of a recliner is shown.


[edit] Winston Rothschild, III

Winston Rothschild, III owns Rothschild Sewage and Septic Sucking Services (Phone number 1-800-555-SUCK(7825) and is the sole employee. He is always seen wearing a hard hat, a white button-down shirt, a bowtie, hip waders, and heavy boots. (In early episodes, he had long curly hair, which was later shortened considerably.) He is generally upbeat and has a positive outlook on life, despite his occupation. He is generally unlucky in the game of love, though this may have more to do with him taking his dates out to dinner in his septic truck than his personality.

Winston is featured on The Red Green Show in numerous fictitious commercials interspersed among the show's main segments. Most of the time, these commercials feature him standing in front of his septic cleanup truck(Honey Wagon) and delivering a humorous quip describing his business (eg. "We'll take that smell off your hands","You think Fear Factor is gross, I have to eat off these hands!" "Your business is our business." and "We're Number 1 in the Number 2 business."). Rothschild also appears occasionally in "Ask The Experts", "The Possum Lodge Word Game", and in the show's main plot segments.

Rothschild is also a fan of self help speakers, such as Anthony Anthony (whom he likes to quote) and Walter Mollusk.

Character descriptions by Rick Green

...is into Tony Robbin's-style motivational courses, self-improvement, self-help, self-starting, entreprenerial courses, business trends, laptops, cel-phones, franchising, disversifying, and all the latest management fads. He is geared to success, and has made it big, as the C.E.O. of Rothschild's Sewage and Septic Sucking Services. Winston has made it to the top of the sewage pile thanks to his father, "He taught me how drink and women and gambling will ruin you, he was great that way." The idea that Winston's life stinks, his job stinks, his family was stinky, and that he is a small town hoser just never crosses his mind, "After all, as my personal motivational guru Anthony Anthony says, 'Think it big and make it big.'"

What Became of Him?

"...got a job investigating government corruption. He knew the territory."


[edit] Kevin Black

A yuppie land developer who is always trying to buy the Lodge property. He bought Bluff Point, a local land area nicknamed 'Blood Point' due to its mosquito infestation.

Character descriptions by Rick Green

...is a yuppie developer from the big city who's using his contacts to try and make a bundle by wheeling and dealing around Possum Lake. Unfortunately he's learning that there are reasons why the land here is so cheap--problems you don't have int he city like mosquitoes, swamp, sinkholes, bogs, lack of water service, phone lines, power service or road access. Poor ___ is constantly losing out to these rubes and slowing discovering that simple people aren't necessarily stupid or naive.

What Became of Him?

The last we heard of him was when he sold his cottage mansion to Werner Klemperer.


[edit] Arnie Dogan

Character descriptions by Rick Green

...is a roofer by trade, and constantly in casts and bandages by default. But working for his dad's roofing company is just his day job till his career in country and western singer catches on. Having written 13,000 songs, Arnie knows it's just a matter of time before he's the next Garth Brooks. Red feels that learning to play the guitar well and taking some singing lessons might speed up the process, but laconic Arnie knows it's really a matter of just writing a hit, "like this latest song I've written about a guy who's written a lot of songs and it goes like this..."


[edit] Dwight Cardiff

Succeeded Glen as the local marina owner. Dwight is even lazier than Glen. He doesn't like to bend. He has sat out in the rain, because he had rather not move. He disappeared, and Glen came back as the marina owner. Had it become too hectic for him?


[edit] Adventurer Walter

  • Actor: Joel Harris

Bill's replacement in the later seasons, new lodge member Walter is just as accident-prone as Bill was. Bill eventually came back near the show's concluding seasons, but Walter continued to stick around as his co-star.

"Young" Walter, unlike everyone else in the lodge, is very strong and athletic. Unlike Bill, he doesn't usually go looking for trouble, it finds him.


[edit] Bonnie

  • Actress: Laurie Elliott
  • Harold's girlfriend (starting with the 14th season), Bonnie is a licensed commercial truck driver from Port Asbestos. She is virtually the female version of Harold - she shares his voice, mannerisms and geekiness. The final season of the show features the courtship of Harold and Bonnie, who get married in the final episode. A flash-forward reveals that Harold and Bonnie will have two children (a son and a daughter).


[edit] Unseen characters

There have also been several unseen characters who are mentioned frequently in Red Green's anecdotes about life around Possum Lodge.

BERNICE GREEN is Red's wife. We've never seen her but she sounds like the sweetest woman, and obviously the most tolerant. Red loves her very much, but like Fred had his Wilma, Red knows she doesn't always approve of his shenanigans. At the end of each show Red promises Bernice he's on his way home and drops a double entendre which suggests that despite years of marriage they are still very active romantically. Not to mention lots of sex.

BUSTER HATFIELD believes the seventh commandment should read "Thou Shalt Commit Adultery". His wife divorced him after he won Man of the Year for spending 364 days at the lodge.

FLINTY MCCLINTOCK owner of the local scrap metal yard, and a 'giant chihuahua" (actually a bouvier that had its hair blown off after a gas station storage tank was being scrapped.

JUNIOR SINGLETON is very unlucky with women. Was married in Episode #141 "The Stag Party".

WALLY "KICKBACK" KIBBLER Red's rival in high school and the mayor of Possum Lake.

MOOSE THOMPSON is as big, strong and smart as an ox. Had a frige in every room, before he up-graded to a walk-in meat locker. Trying to set a world record for going the longest without eating a salad.

OLD MAN SEDGEWICK is very very very old. His son is in his 90's. His parents are still alive. He's cranky, sour, semi senile, and mean. And in bad health. After badgers were in his pants while he was wearing them, he went from skin-and-bone to just bone. He ended up in Shady Acres.

GEORGE "STINKY" PETERSON is very very smelly and unclean.


[edit] Guest stars

In addition to the regular cast, there have been a number of guest stars who have appeared on the show, the most notable of which include Don Harron, reprising his Hee Haw character Charlie Farquharson, and Canadian Colin Mochrie from the television comedy improv Whose Line Is It Anyway? (playing Frank Kepke, a hobbyist/store owner who makes things entirely out of hotdogs). Various people have also been taken directly from the live studio audience to appear on the show.


[edit] Episodes

[edit] Trivia

Ranger Gord's fire tower is located on Ferndale Road in Port Carling, Ontario, in Muskoka.
Actor Steve Smith played Red Green, while actor Rick Green played Bill Smith. (At first the character was just named "Red". The most outrageous surname they could think of was "Green". "Bill" was, at the time, already a character in his own right, but also had no surname.)

[edit] External links

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