The Framley Examiner

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The Framley Examiner ('Framley's traditional favourite since 1978') is a parody of a newspaper in a small provincial English town. Very little happens in Framley, so the highlights in the newspaper are the absurdist classified ads (for items such as second-hand Dachshund stabilizers, a child's Paul Simon costume, a set of windmill Top Trumps, £45 in used fivers, a 'Diana Convoy' Scalextric set, a Black & Decker fire drill and a set of nested bunk beds that sleep eighteen progressively smaller people), firmly in the absurdist British comic tradition of The Goon Show and Monty Python. It has been noted that Framley and its surrounding villages are actually based upon the town of Chelmsford, Essex and surrounding settlements such as Writtle.

1 History
2 Contributors
3 Places
4 Running jokes
5 External links

[edit] History

The Framley Examiner originally began as a website. Its success then spawned a book The Framley Examiner (ISBN 0-7181-4579-8) described on the cover as "the book of the website of the newspaper". A second book, Historic Framley (ISBN 0-14-101528-4), was later published, produced in association with Framley Museum.

The writers are Robin Halstead, Jason Hazeley, Alex Morris and Joel Morris. The four are regular contributors to Viz magazine. The book Bollocks to Alton Towers (ISBN 0-7181-4791-X), published in April 2005, by the same authors, is a non-fiction book unrelated to The Framley Examiner.

[edit] Contributors

Challenger Putney, who reports on all news concerning Framley's Mayor, William D'Ainty. He is especially suited to the job, since he lives with the Mayor and his wife.
Katie Blirdsnest, whose "The Blirdnest Report"s have included such topics as interviewing the man who swallows the tide to stop it from flooding Framley, and rolling down rubbish heaps with binmen.
Damiun Clavalier, bored son of international fridge magnate Garuth Clavelier, who writes ridiculous articles in the hope of being sacked.
Adam Wrent, whose photo byline depicts him at the age of four.
Taunton Mishap, whose trademark journalistic style is to miss the point of the story.
Pigshit Nelson, a transgender who writes unintelligible sport reports.
Beaky Coxwain
Ursula Cloybeam, the Examiner's petty and vitriolic arts correspondent.
Jesus Chigley, wrote the first article ever published in the Framley Examiner, and spends most of the time reminding his colleagues of this.
Stan Rubbish, darts correspondent.
Bowery Tarpaulin
Pharaoh Clutchstraw, science expert.
Arcady Belvedere, writes about local history that only he seems to remember or care about.
Odgar Cushion (deceased) wrote the We'll Fancy That column, until his death sometime between 1994 and 2012 when the column was inherited by his son, Odnald.
Bunco Booth
Arbroath Smokie
Oliver Singultus-Hiccup, motoring reporter.

[edit] Places

[edit] Framley and district

Framley
Wripple
Codge
Chipney
Batley
The Dungeon Housing Estate, which has more single fathers than there are grains of sand in the mighty desert
Clown
Glibley
Durbiton
Shilillingbury Lillingbury Illingbury On Ingbury
Thoxtoxeter
Effing Sodbury
Ovenly
Bellaire, home of the Bellaire Hillock.
Princes Freshborough (these last two are a reference to the TV show The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air)

[edit] St Eyot's and district

St Eyot's, whose historic castle is thought to be the home of Britain's first batman
Slovenly
Urling
Fracton
Clinton
Flapton Nogley
Stanglebridge
Yopney St Oh!
Queff
Gartside Green

[edit] Molford and district

Molford
Molford St Gavin
Molford St Malcolm
Molford St Arahim Rhamal
Robot Oak, a utopian village constructed of artificial materials and populated by robots
Ghastley St Matthew
Crème
Tellephant
Strawbury Magma
Diesel Park West

[edit] Sockford and district

Sockford holds an annual Vulture Jamboree in which visitors are invited to 'Discover how to Milk Vultures' and could meet Lazenby, Framley's biggest Hedgehog (until he died of prickleworm)
Lessbury Moreborough

[edit] Whoft and district

Whoft, which frequently suffered deluges of fluff, and was famous for its annual fete (featuring the 'Kitten in a Bottle' competition) until being completely destroyed by property developers due to a planning error.
Wotten Plodney
Queues Likely
Little Godley, controlled by councillor Haris Paris, who mounted a military coup in late 1994 after someone parked a blue P Reg Mondeo in his allocated parking space.
Chutney
King's Mustard
Clifton James
Steeplecocque

[edit] Outlying districts

Carnaby Constable
Cloxted
Rockney
Hazeldean Inchmistress
Billberry Buryborry
Nyth

[edit] Running jokes

Professor Arthur Bostrom, who meddles with the fabric of time and space, yet always declares "Experiment successful". Reference: Arthur Bostrom, actor who played the part of an English policeman in the BBC sitcom 'Allo 'Allo! in the 1980s.
A man named Mr. Hollyhock who is always trying to sell his daughter Josie or her possessions in the classified ads.
The Wripple Vetivers, a local secret society. They are routinely consulted by the US Treasury about proposed changes to US banknotes. The US Treasury forgot to do this only once, with grim but unspecified consequences.
Estelle Donne, who has appeared in about a dozen wedding announcements.
Fluff, which is apparently a mainstay of Whoft's economy.
Mayor William D'Ainty, a flamboyant and possibly insane man who mounts ever more outrageous stunts in order to relieve the tedium of ruling Framley.
Vince Previous, an unsavoury fellow who frequently places adverts offering various kinds of massage for ladies.
Ianbeale Steeplecocque, MP for the district, whose sole concern is the effect of time travel on the local economy and infrastructure. Given the continued meddling of Professor Bostrom, his concerns may be justified. He was recently ousted in a cash for crisps scandal. Reference: Ian Beale is a character in the BBC soap EastEnders.
A constant desire for a Black and Decker Dinnermate and to go at any length to get one. For example in one ad: "Fountain of Knowledge, will swap for Elixir of Youth or Black and Decker Dinnermate".