The Bradshaws

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The Bradshaws is a fictional family created and voiced by the comedian and musician Buzz Hawkins.

The family was created for The Gary Davies Show with Gary Davies on Piccadilly Radio in 1983 when Hawkins wrote a poem about a family's day trip to Blackpool, this soon developed into a series. In 1986, Hawkins was made producer of The Phil Wood Show, on which he performed more Bradshaws material.

Hawkins would go on to sell cassettes of his Bradshaws episodes, which he still does to this day, as well as doing stand-up, acting and more. The Bradshaws series is currently being re-released as a 25 volume C.D. collection.

Contents

[edit] Setting

The Bradshaws is set in a Cosy Terraced House (with an Outside Toilet) in the era of Pounds, Shillings and Pence, The series is set somewhere in Lancashire ( some evidence suggests that they live in Manchester, or somewhere near Manchester such as Wigan). The Bradshaws probably have a Teleision set (as Audrey was once heard singing the theme tune from Muffin the Mule and Billy once played the Robin Hood Tune on an old Piano,the latter suggests that the series is set sometime after 1956).

[edit] Main scene characters

[edit] Audrey

The only female in the programme, she is the complete opposite of Alf, she likes entering competitions and winning holidays to torra mona lisa. Audrey is considerably less intelligent than Alf and often shows this through complete lack of Common Knowledge,she seems to think that the coalman and Michael Morris's Mam are just 'Friends' despite the obvious (see Minor Characters). Audrey (seemingly) Cooks very badly, when she made Steak and Kidney Pudding for Billy and Alf's Tea she left it boiling dry resulting in burnt pastry (which tasted like Cardboard according to Alf).

[edit] Alf

Alf likes Corned beef but he calls it 'Corn dog', his face is said to be similar to Bob Newhart's. He smokes woodbines and plays Monopoly very unfairly he is never a nice polite dad, he still let Billy have a bogie. Alf often drinks and the only times he is nice to Billy and Audrey is when he is drunk, Alf is very mean with money (he swapped Billy's loose change for Irish coins which he said were worth more than English money) and does everything he can to keep hold of it. Alf can be very Sarcastic and when it was time for the annual trip to Southport he made all sorts of remarks about packing sugar lumps for the Camel and a desert hat (a reference to the fact that the tide at Southport rarely comes in to the sea front).

[edit] Billy

William "Billy" Bradshaw is prehaps the most popular character. He loves his Mam and Dad even though Alf can be very mean to him. Billy enjoys playing out with his best friend Michael Morris (see Minor Characters), he wants a pet of some sort Either a Budgie, a Dog or a Zedgie (an imaginary animal that Alf made up) Billy has an off and on Girlfriend named Winefred Dutton. Billy is often portrayed as being quite a bit less intelligent than Alf (although he isn't as daft as Audrey) he enjoys going to the 'Flicks' although the Projectionist is suffering from alopecia and Hair falls like snow over the screen. Billy Seems Blissfully unaware that Michael Morris's Mam is having an affair with the coal man and whenever Michaels Mam and Dad are mentioned he says "It's always warm in their house".

[edit] Minor Characters

[edit] Michael Morris

Michael Morris is Billy Bradshaws best friend, he wears a pair of Clinic Glasses for his Lazy eye. It is known that Michael is not good at keeping secrets as he told Billy about the Coalman secret. Michael also has a buggy.

[edit] Betty Morris

Betty Morris is the Mother of Michael Morris, She is having an affair with the coal man (although Audrey refuses to believe this).

[edit] Mr Morris

Mr Morris is the Father of Michael Morris (although Michaels real father is the Coal man), Mr Morris is tightfisted and bald, he has stolen Alf's tools several times.

[edit] The Coal Man

All that is known about Craddock is that he is having an affair with Michaels Mam and that he is Michael Morris's Real Father.

[edit] Winefred Dutton

Winefred Dutton is Billy Bradshaws girlfriend, she has dumped him numerous times but always seems to crop up.

[edit] Oswald/Poshy

Oswald/Poshy was Billy's kitten, Neither Billy or Audrey could agree on his name, Audrey wanted to name him Oswald because she had a cat called Oswald when she was young and Billy wanted to name him Poshy because it's mother was a Posh breed of cat (although it's Father was a scruffy Tom Cat), it was soon discovered that Oswald/Poshy was infact a girl. in Open Wide he/she escaped and ran all the way over to Winfred Dutton's, after Billy left the back door open he let Oswald/Poshy free.

[edit] Uncle Wally One-Ball

Uncle Walter is Audreys Uncle, he got a Gunshot to a 'sensitive' area in The Great War and now drags his leg, he used to go by the stagename Bert Scroginbottom and wrote his own songs,he was destined for stardom but he accidentally lost his kitbag with all the songs he had inside and it was stolen by a Buck-toothed Private named Formby.

[edit] Ada

Ada Davenport is Audreys sister, she is constantly knitting Tank Tops for Billy and Alf although they never fit properly (as a matter of fact, Alf wears one that she knitted for Billy), Ada also makes Knitted Swimming Trunks for Billy. it should be noted that Ada fancies Alf and is jealous of Audrey (but never in front of her).

[edit] Net-Curtain Nelly

Net-Curtain Nelly lives on the same street as the Bradshaws (but we never find out her real name) she is constantly gorping at people through her Net curtains.

[edit] Grandad Bradshaw

Grandad Bradshaw is Alf's Father (and seems to be a better dad), he is very kind to Billy and buys him Toys occasionally.

[edit] God

God features in many episodes, according to Alf (who should not be believed as he is an agnostic) The moon is a Hole in the sky for God to spy on people and The Sun is his reading light, he turns it on for filling in his diary. God seems to show a strong dislike for Alf, as shown by the numerous times that Alf hurts himself and breaks things.

[edit] External links