The Boston Teens

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The Boston Teens are characters featured in a large number of sketches in the American television show Saturday Night Live.

Denise "Zazu" McDonough (Rachel Dratch) and Pat Sullivan or "Sully" (Jimmy Fallon) are a pair of Boston teenagers in love. The sketches are presented in the format of home video footage filmed by their unseen friend, Tommy. They have a torrential relationship, often arguing and making up in the same sentence. A prime example of this is Denise's tendency to say, "You're retarded," to which Sully replies, "You are" and immediately starts making out with her.

Denise and Sully are featured in all twelve sketches. Frankie Hilbert (Horatio Sanz), a long-haired, bespectacled burnout, features in all but the first. Donnie Bartalotti, played by non-cast member Ben Affleck, appeared three times (though there were plans for more appearances). In the final Boston Teens sketch, he gets married to Michael Smith or "Smitty", played by Seth Meyers, as a response to Massachusetts' recent legalization gay marriage.

The characters are very devoted fans of the Boston Red Sox, and use the name of former star shortstop Nomar Garciaparra as a catchphrase, though with a highly affected Boston accent, pronounced as "Nomah!" Garciaparra makes a cameo appearance in one of the skits.