The Best Chrismukkah Ever

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The O.C. episode
“The Best Chrismukkah Ever”

"It's not just for kids Ryan"
Episode no. Season 1
(2003-2004)
Episode 13
Writer(s) Stephanie Savage
Director Sanford Bookstaver
Production no. 176512
Original airdate December 3, 2003 (FOX)
Episode chronology
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"The Secret" "The Countdown"

"The Best Chrismukkah Ever" is the 13th episode of the FOX television series, The O.C.. The episode was written by Stephanie Savage and was directed by Sanford Bookstaver. It originally aired on Wednesday December 3, 2003.

Contents

[edit] Guest starring

[edit] Plot

Spoiler warning: Plot and/or ending details follow.

Seth, wearing a sweater festively festooned with reindeer, explains to Ryan that he doesn't have to choose between the birth of Christ and eight days of oil because in the Cohen household they celebrate Chrismukkah. Seth then launches into his explanation of how he combined Sandy and Kirsten's individual holidays to create one super holiday loaded with presents. Ryan claims that he doesn't have the best holiday memories, but the Cohens assure him this year will be different. But Ryan will need some convincing.

Sandy drops into the kitchen with the news that Chrismukkah is ruined because Caleb has refused the law firm's latest settlement offer and wants to go to trial. So Sandy will be spending the holidays going through file boxes instead of drinking nog. Kirsten wonders if they'll ever have a normal holiday, but Seth refuses to believe Chrismukkah is ruinable.

In school, Ryan is surprised by the news that both Summer and Anna will be attending a party tonight, but neither as Seth's date. Do they know that? Seth insists the situation is under control. Summer bounces up to him, followed immediately by Anna. They both want to know what time he's picking them up. Oh…I see. Seth suggests they meet there, which doesn't blow the girls away.

Ryan and Marissa morosely discuss the inherent suckiness of the holidays. At least they'll be at the party together. But first, shopping at the mall together! They while away the afternoon looking at gifts and kissing and being all couply. Realizing South Coast Plaza is out of their price range, Marissa and Ryan leave, but a security guard stops them and demands to see the contents of Marissa's purse. It seems she pinched a watch and some earrings. Trouble.

At home, Kirsten is relaxing by reviewing some end-of-year account statements. Seth swings by and they discuss how when Ryan mopes about the holidays, they don't know what to say. Kirsten then spots an item of concern on one of the statements, but keeps it to herself despite Seth's intrigued questions. Seth sidles off and Kirsten immediately calls somebody saying she "lost" her copy of the Balboa Heights survey her father had done. Could they please fax one over?

Jimmy is talking with Marissa about her wrong turn when Julie storms in, irate. She has an important party to throw tonight! Julie blames Jimmy for all of this, but Marissa angrily says this is her fault. Julie punishes Marissa with no car, no allowance and no weekends. And she has an appointment with her therapist. Marissa pleads that she has everything under control, but Jimmy is with Julie on this one.


Seth pops into the pool house to see how mall shopping went. Ryan clues him in on Marissa's bust, which furthered his dislike of the holidays. Seth thinks he has something to cheer him up: his own stocking. Just like the rest of the family has. Seth leaves and Ryan stares at the stocking. A breakthrough?

Sandy, home from work, rushes into the bedroom promising to get ready quickly for the party. He has big news, too. Caleb settled the lawsuit today for $250 million. And he wants to spend the holidays as a family. Sandy thinks this is all because of what Kirsten said to him. Maybe he's changing. Kirsten isn't sharing the excitement. What's wrong? She found something today and doesn't know if her loyalty is with her husband or her company. She slides him the document. Sandy can't believe what he's seeing. This changes everything! Kirsten says she'd better get used to relaxing since she'll soon be fired. Sandy's sorry, but Kirsten says Caleb is going to be even sorrier.

Time for the big party. The latest big party, at least. Anna surprises Seth by dropping by to see if he would like to take her to the party. Seth would, but what about Summer? Didn't they all have an agreement? Anna says Summer doesn't have to know. Which is true until…the doorbell rings. It's Summer, dropping by with the same plan Anna had. They both question what the other is doing there and, like a true diplomat, Seth suggests they all ride together with his parents.

Helping Marissa get ready for the gala, Ryan wonders if maybe seeing a therapist isn't such a bad idea. Marissa takes offense at this, suggesting that if her parents aren't seeing anybody, she shouldn't have to either. She's the only normal one in this family. Ryan backs off and goes upstairs to get her wrap. While he's gone, Marissa sneaks into the liquor cabinet and spirits a bottle of vodka into her purse. Like any normal person would.

The Cohens make the scene at the party and Seth is immediately offered the same appetizers Ryan was at the Fashion Show so far back. Each girl tries to pull Seth off from the group, but he resists and goes off in search of Ryan. Meanwhile, Sandy asks to follow up with Caleb on the settlement, but Caleb tells him to enjoy the party. Perhaps he can "smoke the tree" to remember his Berkeley days. Caleb wanders off and Sandy tells Kirsten he's going to nail him now.

Marissa wistfully looks out to the sea and Ryan approaches her with a soda. They kiss, but Julie barges in. Marissa needs to say hello to Caleb. She bickers with her mother before disappearing to the bathroom. Speaking of Caleb, Sandy tracks him down and confronts him with the geological survey that Caleb "mysteriously" neglected to share with opposing counsel. Seems that the Balboa Heights are seismologically unsound. The whole area is uninsurable, worthless. He never could've gotten a building permit. Caleb demands to know what Sandy wants out of this. Sandy offers to buy back the Heights for $1 and jams a buck in Caleb's hand before walking off.

Finally alone, Anna asks Seth if he's ready for his present. Sure! It's a graphic novel that she wrote and illustrated. The Adventures of Seth Cohen and Captain Oats. Seth is amazed that she did this for him. But then they spot Summer watching them from across the pool and the moment is ruined.

In the bathroom, Marissa opens up her minibar purse and pours herself a stiff one. Anna also heads for the bathroom, so Summer grabs Seth and pulls him into a room. She hears he like comics books, so she has a surprise for him. A Wonder Woman costume under her dress. Using her magic lasso, she pulls him closer. But before the kissing gets good, she finds Anna's graphic novel in his pocket. Impressed by the craftsmanship, she begins to hate her stupid costume. Naturally, Anna comes in at that moment and sees Summer's get-up. She thinks Summer looks amazing and begins to hate her stupid comic book. Summer brings the situation to a head. Both girls like him. And if this continues, somebody's gonna get hurt. You have to choose, Cohen. The girls leave, symbolically and literally leaving Seth in the dark.

Outside, now full of holiday cheer, Marissa begins laying the smooch on Ryan. But he confronts her about her water closet private party as well as the past times he's seen her wasted. It's just like his mom all over again. He wants to get her out of here, but she wants to go herself. When he follows, she yells at him, saying enough people in her life are telling her what to do. Marissa picks up her car from the valet, but Ryan jumps in front of it, refusing to let her drive. Unperturbed, she throws in reverse and clips a parked car. At her breaking point, she puts her head on the steering wheel and cries.

Out back, Caleb is making a triumphant announcement that he's decided to sell the Heights to the Balboa Land Trust for the low, low price of $1. And it wouldn't have been possible without the work of his son-in-law, Sandy Cohen. Loving every second of it, Sandy deflects praise back to Caleb, calling him "the most generous man in Newport Beach."

Ryan drives Marissa and a whole lot of tension home. He tells her to put the bottle away because he's still on probation. And of course, a cop behind them fires up the lights to pull them over. Marissa non-discreetly tucks the bottle between her feet. The cop informs them he pulled them over for the broken taillight and asks if they've been drinking. No, sir. Suspicious, the cop shines his light on Marissa and asks if everything is okay. Before he can look any further, a call comes over the radio. 187. All units respond. John Law lets them off with a warning. Furious, Ryan gets out of the car, goes around to Marissa's side and hurls the vodka bottle as far as he can. Still angry, he repeatedly slams the car door, which frightens Marissa. Which is good, because she's scaring him too. He tells her that he left this stuff behind. He's not doing this again. Marissa tearfully apologizes.

Next morning. The boys discuss their respective nights. Seth thinks Ryan getting off with just a warning is a Chrismukkah miracle. The twin forces of Jesus and Moses were working for him as the old Ryan Atwood surely would've been busted. Now get dressed because Anna is going to be here soon.

And she is. And so is Summer. As Seth's world spirals out of control, he individually tells both girls he just wants to be friends. And they individually tell him they don't want to be his friend and reject his gift of the Seth Cohen Starter Pack, which maybe now should be named the Seth Cohen Finisher Pack. Heartbroken, Seth sits alone, outside, trying to find the silver lining.

Caleb storms into the house accusing Kirsten of corporate espionage and breach of confidentiality. Kirsten counters that he was putting them at risk for another lawsuit by defrauding the county. Caleb calls her actions dishonest, calculating and ruthless. They just might make a real estate mogul out of her yet.

Marissa nervously slips into her psychiatrist's office. After a few seconds of waiting, she's about to leave when a fellow patient, Oliver Trask, quickly sums her up. Budding alcoholic, probably dabbled in pills once. He asks what's wrong with her and she realizes that maybe she does need to talk with somebody.

Wrapping things up, Ryan hangs his stocking by the fire with care, realizing that many Chrismukkah miracles are already here.

[edit] Quotes

Seth: We got Goonies. It's not just for kids Ryan, its not, I don't care what they tell you.


Marissa: I hate Christmas.

Ryan: Well, Chrismukkah, ain't much better.


Ryan: Drinking, crying, cops, well it must be Christmas.


Seth: I've got Jesus and Moses working on my side.


Seth: My father, the struggling Jew from the Bronx... and my mother, Waspy McWasp.


Seth: How was the mall?

Ryan: Weird.

Seth: Yes. You've really painted a picture for me. I feel like I was there.


Summer: (to herself) Way to go Wonder Whore.

[edit] Music

[edit] External links

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