The Ballad of Eskimo Nell

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The Ballad of Eskimo Nell is a bawdy rhymed recitation or song that recounts the tale of Deadeye Dick, his accomplice Mexican Pete and a woman they meet on their travels, named Eskimo Nell. In the view of some, Eskimo Nell is in her own way an authentic heroine and, by the yardstick of the sentiments of the poem, gets the better of Dick in the end. It is certainly true that Dick's manhood is belittled in the end by Nell. Nevertheless, some critics see the poem as an example of sex-hate literature [1]. The ballad makes frequent use of crude and (to some) offensive body-related terminology, with humorous consequences.

1 Traditional lyrics
2 Origin and history
- 2.1 Nell in print and record
3 Nell in Popular Culture
4 See also
5 References

[edit] Traditional lyrics

Spoiler warning: Plot and/or ending details follow.

There are multiple variations to the poem and some stanzas are left out of certain versions but the basic narrative structure remains constant. It details the adventures of the generously-endowed Deadeye Dick and his gunslinging sidekick, Mexican Pete. Fed up with their sex life at Dead Man's Creek, they travel to the Rio Grande. There they visit a whore-house, but before Dick has finished with two out of the 40 whores, they are confronted by Eskimo Nell. She is described as something of a sexual champion, and challenges Dick to satisfy her. Dick accepts but Nell's skill and power soon gets the better of him and he climaxes prematurely. Pete attempts to avenge his mate's affront by sticking his gun up Nell and firing all six rounds but all this achieves is to bring Nell to her own orgasm. Disappointed, Eskimo Nell chides the pair for their poor performance. She expresses nostalgia for her home in the frozen North, where the men apparently have better staying power. Dick and Pete return to Dead Man's Creek, their pride severely dented.

The opening lines (in one version) are:

Gather 'round, all ye whorey!

Gather 'round and hear my story!

When a man grows old, and his balls grow cold,

And the tip of his prick turns blue,

Far from a life of Yukon strife,

He can tell you a tale or two.

So pull up a chair, and stand me a drink,

And a tale to you I will tell,

About Dead-Eye Dick and Mexican Pete,

And a harlot named Eskimo Nell.

Other stanzas:

Now Dead-Eye Dick and Mexican Pete

Lived down by Dead Man's Creek,

And such was their luck that they'd had no fuck

For nigh on half a week.

Oh, a moose or two, and a caribou,

And a bison cow or sow,

But for Dead-Eye Dick with his kingly prick,

This fucking was mighty slow.

The closing stanza mimics the opening:

When a man grows old, and his balls grow cold,

And the tip of his prick turns blue,

And the hole in the middle refuses to piddle,

I'd say he was fucked, wouldn't you?

[edit] Origin and history

This is a folk poem with no known author. As with all traditional poems/songs, there is variation to the texts. It appeared in bawdy song books compiled by university students in South Africa in the 1940s, so it is at least sixty years old. Nell has been the subject of serious research and differences of interpretation have been recorded. (See [2])

[edit] Nell in print and record

The poem, owing to its bawdy nature, has generally been passed on by word of mouth or in manuscript from one generation to another. There are a few published versions. See [3].

This was recorded sung on an LP issued in London titled STAG PARTY IN LONDON Vol.1. [4]

[edit] Nell in Popular Culture

The poem was recited by Harold Shea in the novel, The Incomplete Enchanter by L. Sprague de Camp and Fletcher Pratt, in response to a demand by Spenser's Blatant Beast for an epic poem. The Blatant Beast reacts only by slowly getting to its feet and lumbering off into the woods while shaking its head.