Tech Support Comedy
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
 TSC front page as viewed in Mozilla Firefox 2.0 in Microsoft Windows XP |
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| URL | http://www.techcomedy.com/ |
|---|---|
| Commercial? | No |
| Type of site | Humor, Message Boards, Online virtual community |
| Owner | Hawk |
| Created by | Hawk |
Tech Support Comedy, or TSC, is a website dedicated to frustrated tech support workers from all over the world and the customers they deal with constantly. It was created by member Hawk, an ex-Tech Support worker, in March of 2000, originally as a webcomic, but quickly grew into a bulletin board for reader submissions, and soon added the ability for members to comment on the submissions. Since then, the site has grown in both membership and content daily, with over 9,000 members and more than 60,000 story submissions. To date, TSC is the largest online community of IT workers found anywhere on the web.
Submissions to TSC include Tech Stories, Customer Misconceptions, Tech Support Rules, Customer Types, Co-worker Types, Customer E-mails, End User Phrase of the Day (or "EUPOTD"), Tech Songs, Cool Links, SoapBox, and finally Tech Calls, where actual calls to tech support can be heard. Also, an IRC chatroom exists: channel #TSC on the Nightstar IRC network. Membership in the IRC channel is open to all; it is not restricted to members of the site.
Access to most TSC content is unrestricted. Everyone may view it, but only members may add comments, or submit content. What you can submit, and how you can submit it is determined by your level of membership, which is seperated into two levels. These levels are Regular Membership (a free membership), and Star Membership (given to members who have made a monetary donation to the site). While all members may post stories, tech support rules, customer misconceptions, customer and co-worker types, e-mails, EUPOTD's (End User Phrase of the Day), and cool links (see below for further details on each type) only Star Members may use HTML formatting when doing so. Star members also gain the ability to post Tech Songs, full access to the complete archive of Tech Calls and ability to post to the SoapBox, a specific area on the main page that everyone can see.
Contents |
[edit] Star members
Star Members have special privileges:
- Ability to
- Post to the SoapBox
- Post Tech Songs
- Post a Cool Link of the Day
- Include a signature in each post
- Use HTML code in posts
- Access to
- Full Tech Calls archive
Also, Star Members' nicknames are preceded by a small yellow star icon.
Star Memberships are granted to members who give a monetary donation to the site for one year. After a year has passed, a Star Member reverts to a Regular Membership. There are two levels of Star Memberships:
- USD$20
- Includes all Star Member benefits
- USD$35
- Includes all Star Member benefits
- Includes most recent TSC Star Member T-shirt
[edit] TSC Submissions
The following is a list of the various types of submissions.
[edit] Cool Links
Links can be posted on TSC to be shared. These often consist of items to be discussed, new and different technologies, cartoon strips that showcase techs, or anything else the tech might find interesting and worthy of posting. The most recent post in this category appears below the other postings of the day on the front page. Only star members are allowed to post in this category.
[edit] Co–worker Types
This section holds descriptions of co-workers who fall into a particular, and often very irritating, category. The most vexatious, inendurable and thoroughly vile, earning no respect, are called "co-irkers," a reflection of their power - which they often show - to irritate one.
[edit] Customer Misconceptions
As the name implies, these are misconceptions that the customers have regarding tech support, which are often vastly different than the reality or possibility of a given situation.
[edit] Customer Types
Similar to the Co-Worker Type, these are customer types that tech support often finds irritating or otherwise difficult to deal with.
[edit] E-mails
E-mails that are (often unintentionally) funny, or only give the tech support personnel the most generic information or problem description, such as "my printer has a problem," without providing any information whatsoever about the printer,or "I can send, but not receive e-mail. Help!" without an alternate form of contact.
[edit] EUPOTD
EUPOTD stands for "End-User Phrase of the Day". These are usually short posts (traditionally only a few lines), consisting of things that were said to the tech that are usually unintentionally hilarious.
[edit] SoapBox
Only the most recent soapbox post is shown on the front page. When a new soapbox post is made, the previous one is permanently deleted. Also, soapbox posts do not have a comments system, so usually when a member wants to comment on or expand the current post, they copy the contents, append to it, and submit a new post. Only star members can post to the soapbox.
[edit] Stories
Traditionally longer stories that involve a humorous or unexpected ending. These include some elements of the other types of submissions, but in greater detail.
[edit] Tech Support Rules
Usually short, to the point, rules that techs often would like to post in a public and conspicuous place, for customers to read and follow.
[edit] Tech Songs
These are lyrics to songs written by TSC members, usually tech-themed parodies of well-known songs. Only star members can submit a post in this category.
[edit] TSC Community
Tech Support Comedy members pride themselves on being a strong, close knit community. To this end, they have not only provided tech support to each other, but also emotional support when needed (see karma request section below), whether through submissions, comments, the TSC Forum, chat rooms, or even real world meetings, including group "BBQ's".
[edit] TSC Definitions
Over time, TSC has developed several slang terms; some are used widely across the internet.
[edit] $deity
Often, when a tech support employee feels the need to write a post, and in it, complain to a higher power (see deity), they insert $deity, which is a play on programming code reference in several programming languages, to allow the reader to insert the higher power of their respective religion. This is due in no small part to the fact that people in the tech support industry comprise many differing faiths and beliefs, and is intended to ensure that the beliefs of anyone reading it, as well as the person writing it, are respected.
[edit] [dildo]
Used as a substitute for a model, brand name, or other specific reference to a piece of equipment which could identify the poster's employer or job. Most often this term is used in speaking of cell phones, PDAs, or wireless connectivity devices. The brackets follow certain computer language conventions and the style toggles used in phpBB message boards, similar to the use of string ($) in front of $deity as seen in the previous item. The term was first used by member Mushroom when he was supporting BlackBerry PDAs, as a reflection of what the device appeared to mean to many of its owners.
[edit] Brain Bleach
A product called upon to purge particularly disturbing images or bad experiences from one's mind. In many cases, "Brain Bleach" refers to any beverage that has a very high alcohol content.
[edit] farknugget
This term (alternatively used as fucknugget), is identical to starfish, but is often used in its place when the tech becomes quite frustrated and/or angry with the person they are trying to help.
[edit] headdesk
From time to time, someone (usually a starfish) will say something to a tech that is of sufficient stupidity that it causes the tech to cringe in pain. As a way of trying to alleviate said pain, the tech usually feels the need to hit their head repeatedly against the desk, wall, or any other appropriately hard surface by using this as an action in the conversation.
[edit] LART Shelter
Much like a bomb shelter, the LART Shelter is a non-existent place where people may try to hide from being attacked by a LART. Much like a real bomb shelter, by the time most people reach it, it is already too late.
[edit] Luser
Another name for end users. A combination of the terms "Lame" and "User"... An old Unix term. Proununciation guide: "Remember, the 'L' in 'Luser' is silent."
[edit] Neep
A 'neep' is the sound an end user makes while endlessly complaining. The act of uttering a neep is called 'neeping'. 'Nop' is also used to refer to this, and the gerund form is similarly 'nopping'.
[edit] Starfish
The most dimwitted of end users are most commonly referred to as 'starfish', or 'SF' (not to be confused with science fiction), as a generalization. The reason for this is that starfish have no discernable brain, and eat food through the same orifice they use to excrete bodily waste. Techs have thus made the comparison that end users are similarly brainless, and anything which comes out of their mouths is, by definition, as useful as bodily waste.
[edit] Suctomer
A portmanteau of 'suck' and 'customer'. Often used as an alternative to starfish. Most commonly used, within 'TSC', for those whose IQs are low as can be. Despite the techs' wish, this noun is required - to group the worst 'fish (by whom hate's inspired).
[edit] Acronyms
[edit] BOFH
BOFH is actually a trademark of Simon Travaglia, and is the title of his humorous series, called "The Bastard Operator From Hell", published in The Register.
[edit] EU
Stands for End User. Essentially anyone who winds up using the computer or piece of equipment in question. It does not necessarily refer to starfish (see above), since other techs are officially considered by some to be End Users. However, some people who post on TSC do use EU interchangeably with Starfish.
[edit] LART
LART stands for Luser Attitude Readjustment Tool. The LART is anything that can be used to physically, mentally, or psychologically knock a clue back into a Luser. The Cluebat and Clue-by-four are other general terms for such an implement.
[edit] MCB
An acronym for Miss CryBaby, a former female coworker of CommanderData. She provided CommanderData with much material for posting on TSC; however, she was fired in late 2003.
[edit] NSFW
NSFW stands for Not Safe For Work. Users generally warn of NSFW content in links they post. Reasons to mark a link NSFW include nudity, excessive violence, excessive sound, or any other content that could potentially get the viewer fired.
[edit] NT
While NT can refer to a version of Microsoft Windows, in the subject line of posts to the site, NT usually indicates that the post is not specifically tech-related.
[edit] OT
OT indicates that a post is "Off-Topic", or not pertaining to humor or technology. Generally, users are encouraged to limit off-topic content to the "Break Room" section of the Message Board.
[edit] PFY
PFY stands for Pimply Faced Youth (or alternately, Pepsi Fetching Youth). While not used as often on TSC as some other terms, it does come up in discussions regarding new employees who have potential, but are still relatively new in the field of IT and/or Tech support. The PFY is traditionally regarded as an apprentice to the BOFH, often having to earn their way by being asked (or forced as the case may be) to perform menial tasks that a BOFH feels is beneath them. The term itself arose because such new people are often teenagers just entering the world of computing, stereotypically have acne, and usually would go to great lengths to earn their stripes.
[edit] ZGB
ZGB, or "Zombie Goat Bukkake", has become a symbol representing the worst porn conceivable. Whilst it has not yet actually been found on the internet (that anyone will admit to), it is rumored to exist. The term was coined by TSC Member CommanderData, and immortalized by another member (possibly Bynar) who has registered the domain zombiegoatbukkake.com, which fetches the contents of the requested page from TSC and replaces the title to "Zombie Goat Comedy: Tech Humor for Zombie Goats!".
[edit] Privacy on TSC
It should be noted that when users submit anything to TSC, they make it a point to alter any names, e-mail addresses or other identifying information on the posting to something generic. This is done to guard the privacy of those concerned in the post. For example, techs that post to TSC often change their own names to their usernames, replace the name of other parties to starfish, or EU, and obliterate the e-mail address and/or phone numbers to something that deliberately leads nowhere. Place of employment is often purposefully omitted or otherwise altered into something very basic and unidentifiable, since a number of companies frown upon any discussion of internal events, and doing so can potentially result in disciplinary action should the company discover and identify the person making the post.
[edit] Karma Requests
Occasionally, a tech may be going through difficulties in their life or job in one form or another, and put in a karma request. These requests provide a show of support and solidarity for fellow techs, since at other times, that tech may have given karma to another in a previous request that was made. Often each person has their own unique way of providing karma, and can also provide any advice or assistance as requested/needed. Not only does it show the aforementioned support, but it can also help serve to cheer up the tech who posted the request, since the karma delivery can often be done in a very humorous way. Traditionally, after the trouble passes, the tech makes a folow-up post, thanks all who helped, and symbolically returns any unused karma.
[edit] Quotes
[edit] "Gimme the bat!"
This quote is often used when a tech has reached their breaking point, and is in need of a clue-bat, clue-by-four and/or LART for desired use on the customer. While it is never used in reality, techs sometimes dream of knocking sense into some of the people they deal with in a very literal (and painful) fashion. An example of such a desire that is acted upon is a pivotal scene in the movie Office Space. Several of the main characters take a fax machine from their workplace out to an open field, and use baseball bats to demolish it as a means of venting their frustrations and using the fax machine as a scapegoat for exacting revenge, since two of them had just been laid off. The fax machine had also been something of a running gag, giving them multiple problems up to that point in the film.
[edit] "I WANT A NEW MOOOOOOUUUSE!!!!"
This is a quote that has gained a level of infamy on the site. It is taken from a recorded customer support call posted on TSC, where a tech calmly explains to a customer that because the customer admitted damaging their mouse as a result of using it in a way it was not designed, the warranty was rendered null and void. The customer refused to accept that, berating the tech and yelling "I WANT A NEW MOOOOOOUUUSE!!!!" several times, while the tech support employee maintained their composure. This has since come to define customers who rather vocally demand items from tech support without regard for the reality of the situation at hand, or otherwise refuse to accept what the tech had to say.
[edit] "Paging Dr. Burrkiss..."
This, or various derivations, is used in response to when something in a particular post (a title line, a phrase in an entry, a comment on an entry, etc.) contains a double entendre or abnormal sexual overtones, at which point, a TSC member, sometimes even the tech who posted the original message would "page Dr. Burkiss". TSC member Burrkiss, usually chimes in with a rather humorous comment laced heavily with sexual innuendo in relation to the statement.
