Suicide Is Painless

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"Suicide Is Painless" is a song written by Johnny Mandel (music) and Mike Altman (lyrics), which is mostly known for being featured in both the movie and TV series M*A*S*H.

The lyrics were written by 14-year-old Altman for his father's film M*A*S*H. On an appearance on The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson in the 1980s, Robert Altman said that Mike Altman earned more than a million dollars for cowriting the song while he only made $70,000 for directing the movie. In addition to being sung by Johnny Mandel over the film's opening credits, the movie also features a scene that begins when Walter Koskiusko Waldowski, a dentist nicknamed “Painless Pole,” declares his intention to commit suicide, and the song is sung by Ken Prymus (playing Sergeant Seidman) during the suicide scene. An instrumental version of the song was used as the theme of the TV series, in which “Painless Pole” was mentioned, but never appeared.

First released in 1970, it belatedly became a number one hit in the UK in 1980 after being championed by BBC Radio 1 DJ Noel Edmonds. The refrain is well-known:

Suicide is painless,
It brings on many changes,
And I can take or leave it if I please

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[edit] Trivia

The refrain also is heard in the Family Guy movie Stewie Griffin: The Untold Story, when a drunken Stewie sings it to Brian at the Drunken Clam.

Similarly, a drunken Toby Ziegler absently mumbles the song to himself in the West Wing episode The Stormy Present, while flying on Air Force One with the aged White House staff of a former Republican administration.

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Preceded by:
"What's Another Year?" by Johnny Logan
UK number one single
May 25, 1980
Succeeded by:
"Crying" by Don McLean
M*A*S*H
Film: MASH
TV series: M*A*S*H | Trapper John, M.D. | AfterMASH | W*A*L*T*E*R
Characters:

Hawkeye Pierce | Trapper John McIntyre | Duke Forrest | B.J. Hunnicutt | Henry Blake | Sherman T. Potter | Frank Burns | Margaret Houlihan | Charles Winchester | Radar O'Reilly | Father Mulcahy | Maxwell Klinger | Igor Straminsky | Sidney Freedman | Col. Flagg | Spearchucker Jones | Ugly John | Walter Koskiusko Waldowski | Ho-Jon | Lieutenant Dish | Donald Penobscot

Episodes: Season 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11
Books: M*A*S*H: A Novel About Three Army Doctors | M*A*S*H Goes to Maine
Related material: Continuity errors and anachronisms | Guest stars | Differences between book, film and TV versions of M*A*S*H | Suicide Is Painless
In other languages