Subdrop
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Subdrop is a name given in BDSM to a feeling experienced by the submissive after a scene.
The coming down after experiencing subspace and the return to normality can happen quickly, or slowly. It can be a nice experience, or a bad one. The effects, good or bad, can last almost no time at all, or they can go on for hours, even days. Subdrop is very subjective and personal.
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[edit] Care
[edit] Dominant
For the dominant, the care of their submissive should be paramount, and maintaining control of oneself at all times is integral to taking that care. The effects of subdrop (it's usually referred to as subdrop when these are "bad" effects) are manifestly similar to a kind of depressive state.
[edit] Submissive
After the submissive has rested, and even after sleeping, there can be spontaneous outbursts of emotion: tears, irrationality, fear, etc. A dominant may recognise these for what they are: a need to be comforted, and looked after, to be held, told how much the sub is needed, and how important the sub is. Submissives can crave attention, and often the sub psyche feels that they have lost the massive attention which they had before (during the scene) from their dominant, and this can cause the unease, and charged emotions that may occur in a sub drop situation. Added to this of course, are the hugely elevated amounts of naturally produced hormones (endorphins, adrenaline etc) that are still flowing around the sub's body. These may take some time to return to normal levels, and there may well be a withdrawal effect, too. The submissive is going through a mental and physical cold turkey, as the endorphins are similar to opiates.
[edit] Further effects
The effect of all this can make the sub appear totally irrational: they cry for no apparent reason, you hold them and they push you away, you leave them alone and they want to be held. The dominant is responsible for helping the sub through subdrop. It takes perseverance, an acceptance of that irrationality, an ability to see past it. Aftercare is important in making the sub feel wanted, safe, secure, and comfortable.
These are several of the reasons why many do not hold with the idea of public play parties. In places where there may be little time, or a suitable place to give good aftercare to a submissive if subdrop is experienced, subdrop can become far worse than when at home, or in a secure environment, where they feel "safe", and need not worry about other people, and how they may be seen by others. Others find great pleasure in public play. There are those for whom family life (perhaps those with young children at home, or those who are not in 24/7 relationships) or whose circumstances conspire against scening at home, find that public play parties, offering a safe play environment are their only way to enjoy the physical aspects of BDSM, and D/s.
[edit] See also
- Top drop
