User talk:SteveBaker

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NOTE: I know some people carry on conversations across two User talk pages. I find this ludicrous and unintuitive, and would much prefer to follow Wikipedia's recommendations (see How to keep a two-way conversation readable). Conversations started here will be continued here, while those I start on other users' pages will be continued there. If a user replies to a post of mine on this page, I will either cut/paste the text to their page, or (more likely) copy/paste from their page to this one and continue it here.

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[edit] Ford BA Falcon

Hi again SteveBaker I have created a new article Ford BA Falcon can you please check the article and if it is good enough can you please nominate it for Good Article it would be greatly appreciated by my behalf. Senators 02:08, 12 December 2006 (UTC)

I don't think this article is anywhere near ready. The text needs a LOT of work. I havn't read through the entire article - and it's difficult for me to copy-edit it because I'm not familiar with the subject matter. Let me dissect just the first paragraph to show you what I mean and to try to explain why I think the quality of the writing is unacceptable:

 "The Ford BA Falcon is a full-size sedan that can seat 5 people comfortably it was released to the public in September 2002,"

• There needs to be punctuation between "comfortably" and "it" - a new idea demands a new sentence.
• Numbers (other than dates) that are smaller than ten are written as words: 'five' - not '5'.
• This is an introduction - are we sure that the number of people it seats is the most important thing we have to say about it? How about what country it comes from?

 "...it was either the make or brake it car for Ford."

• Spelling - 'break' - not 'brake'.
• The phrase 'make or break' is a colloquialism - it's vague. You also need to explain in detail why you say this.

 "The model before hand the AU was disastrous for Ford because of its futuristic design look."

• 'beforehand' is one word
• "The model beforehand the AU..." is a grammatical mess. How about "The previous model".
• "The previous model to the BA was the [[Ford AU Falcon|AU Falcon]]." ...please link to the AU even if that article doesn't exist yet.
• Why was it disasterous for Ford? We are left wondering why a futuristic design was such a terrible thing. Was it too costly to make? Was it mechanically poor? Did people simply dislike it? We have to know.

 "The engine is an upgraded 4.0-liter six-cylinder V6 which has had a major overhaul."

• You are jumping around between past tense ("was released to the public") and the present tense ("is a full sized sedan" and "is an upgraded 4.0-liter") - pick one tense and stick with it. If the car is no longer made then the past tense might be best.
• "has had a major overhaul"...from what? They filled up the oil and replaced the gaskets? You mean "a major redesign" I suspect...but you already said it's "upgraded". Are you telling us that the AU's engine was upgraded and resdesigned for this car?

 "Its Barra engine can dish out 182kw (244 hp) at 5000rmp."

• "dish out" !?!?! That's not the sort of language you expect to find in an encyclopedia. Let's get a link for the word 'Barra' - I have no idea what it is. Is it a company? The name of the engine? Some technological term for the way it works? We need to either be told - or be able to look it up.
• "rmp" ?? How about 'rpm'?
• Units like 'kw' and 'hp' need to be linked the first time you use them.

"There is lot’s of empty space around the motor so it would be easier to conduct repairs making the cost for the owner much less."

• Ugly wording. How about "Repairs to the motor are easy becuase there is plenty of space to work in."

 "The suspension has been revised and as well as the new interior specially focusing on the centre console."

• Again, very ugly wording - and mixing two disparate concepts into one sentence. How about: "The suspension was revised {...for some purpose that you need to explain...}. The interior was redesigned to place more focus on the center console."

  "While driving thorough the city fuel consumption is 12.5 L and on the highway it uses 8.2L per 100km (62 mi)."

• Clearer: "Fuel consumption is 12.5L/100km (city) and 8.2L/100km (highway)."
• You need to use 'mpg' (miles per gallon) figures as well as the metric measure.

 "An LPG motor was available which meant fuel and general running cost was lower."

• Why on earth would LPG cut running costs other than fuel? I can see how it's cheaper than gasoline - but my father actually made a living converting Taxis and Ambulances to run on LPG - I never heard him claim anything other than cheaper fuel prices.

 "The Ford BA Falcon has one direct rival which is the Holden Commodore."

• Surely there must be others? Perhaps the Holden is it's "biggest rival".

 "The car was piece by piece reveled to the public instead of just releasing it all at once."

• 'revealed' - not 'reveled'
• This reads like the they announced the exhaust pipe first...then the back doors...then the carburettor. I doubt that's what you mean. But you need to introduce the subject here. "The pre-release advertising campaign was unusual - Ford initially showed only pieces of the car."

  "After a couple of months past the XR8 was then released on in February of 2003."

• "passed" - not "past".
• Punctuation...grammar...everything. "After two months of this kind of advertising, the entire XR8 was revealed in February 2003."

This first paragraph is also far too long - the introduction is supposed to be just a couple of sentences in the first paragraph - then a somewhat longer second paragraph. Much of what you say here can be moved out of the introduction into the body of the article. This is, after all, just an introduction.

Sorry - but this article has a LONG way to go before it's WP:GA material. But please don't ask me to work on it - I have lots of other things I'm working on in Wikipedia - and I just don't have the time or interest to rewrite articles about big ugly cars that I don't care much about!

SteveBaker 03:03, 12 December 2006 (UTC)

[edit] EXCUSE YOU

THE Ford BA Falcon IS NOT A UGLY CAR, IT WAS ONE OF THE BEST LOOKING CARS AT THE TIME AND STILL IS. Senators 04:52, 12 December 2006 (UTC)

Sorry! I was kidding...although I personally don't like big cars. I'm a MINI (BMW) and a Mini enthusiast. For us Mini fanatics, anything bigger than 10 feet long 4 feet high and 5 feet wide is too big - and only our cars look cool - everything else is ugly! SteveBaker

[edit] Computer FAC

I'm sure you'd like to know that I've decided to put Computer through the FAC gauntlet. I have some doubts that any very broad-scoped article can even make it through FAC, but we said from the beginning that we wanted to get this thing to FA status. Since we got very little useful response in peer review, I figured that this will at least be a way to help identify any outstanding weaknesses... Or just see the article get torn apart by a bunch of editors who all have conflicting ideas. Either way it should be interesting. :) Check it out at Wikipedia:Featured article candidates/Computer. -- mattb @ 2006-12-13T00:33Z

Yeah - I agree, the article needs to be an FA. We should probably go through the motions of pushing it through GA first though. I don't have a lot of confidence in the GA process - but it helps your FA application if you can get to GA first. SteveBaker 03:22, 13 December 2006 (UTC)