User:SoccerRyan
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[edit] History
Ryan Smoogleboff was born on March 21, 1971. He is a singer, who was inspired by Elton John. At age 12, Smoogy (his nickname) started his first album titled, "Take Me Away, Porcupine." His album went double platinum, selling 16 million copies.
Wait it wasn't Broadway, it was EUROPEWAY! GOSH CHRISTINA
Ryan Smoogleboff also was the creator of the best selling novel "Theres no place like 711." Selling over 18 million copies Ryan Smoogleboff, now lives in a castle in the clouds as a cook for the well-known Jennifer and Lindsey Wentz. Wifes of bassist/song writer Pete Wentz.
Pete Wentz has a third wife as of September 28th, 2006. She currently resides in Zimbabwe, and is taking care of Pete's seven little turkeys.
Um. Yes, Christina. I realllly have to use the restroom.
Anyways, you have probably heard of Smoogleboff Barbeque Sauce. Yup you guessed it! In 1809 Ryan Smoogleboff established his own sauce. He was very talented to do such a thing, especially before he was born! He's cousins of Stewie Gilligan Grifin (the Grifin has one "f" you Family Guy obsessed freak!) Gosh Seth McFarlane has no bones. Wait no that was muscles. Or maybe it was eyelids....AH well hi everyone Im 78 years old with no life!! JK Im willy too yeas old n im just lurnin how too tipe. JK! You have no idea who I am! I could be a celebrity, or maybe an 8th grade student in Marris' social studies class. But the second one is definitely NOT TRUE!
Hmmm...anymore history. Oh yeah, the old Smoogy freak created his own show on HGTV called, "Change that House!" Watch it! Or you could just watch the 43 other shows that are exactly like that. Whatever floats your boat. In 1989, Smoogy competed in the 1993 Olympics. Ok, he couldn't travel thee years in the future and even if he could (with the help of Jimmy Neutron and friends) there were no Olympics in 1993. Use your imagination! Ugh! Yes Christina, I meant four years!!! UGH!
[edit] Gum, Gang, Sombrero, Jail, Break Out
CRAP I'm sorry to all you 2nd grade mommy's boys who are like, "Ooooh, he said crap!" Just get over it! It's actually a casino lottery like game. Craps.
Anyways, Smoogy created his own bubble gum. He called it ,"Smoogy Smoogy Gummy Woowy!" After 2 years of people getting ticked because of saying the long title, it was changed to: SSGW! Later changed to, S! Then it was confused with the letter S, so then it was changed to Essy. Then it was confused with essay, so it was changed to Hypocylrionimical Pouitroiussalatiy. Perfect! The gum sold 5 packs within a course of 7 years. Total profit was 10 nickels. (That's 50 cents to all you remedial math stupid failures) Yeah, so what! He failed! Everyone fails sometimes (some more than others)
Smoogy moved to Brooklyn, NYC and changed his nickname to The Smoogster. The Smoogster decided to join a gang called, "Big Pops." Big Pops, later changed to the Smoogster Fives, sprayed graffiti everywhere on a daily basis. The gang lasted 5 years until the NYPD caught them. The gang fled in a stolen car all the way to Mexico City, Mexico. The Smoogster dyed his hair blue, shaved his goatee, and got plastic surgery on his nose to change his identity. He went from extremely unnattractive to ultimately disgusting and hard to look at. He started his own Sombrero business a year later and made 23000 pesos. With that money he purchases a Mexican shack of a home and got married to Isabella Smoogalla. They had 3 kids, Benny, Porro, and Lephin. Lephin died 3 days after birth due to an unfortunate rifle accident. "I thought it was a member of the Border Control!" Smoogy yelled to the judge. Yes, he was an idiot. He got 25 years in jail for being an illegal immigrant and for First Degree Murder.
After spending only 1 day in jail, at 3:00 am, Smoogierno (his new nickname) broke out of jail and fled to Austin, Texas. He married Teresa Yopper and had 1 kid named Leghir. Leghir, who was mentally deformed at birth (his left arm was on his left ear, and his left ear was on his left arm), lived a rough life. He got
