Snipe hunt

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"Fool's Errand" redirects here. For the computer game, see The Fool's Errand.

A snipe hunt, also known as a fool's errand or wild goose chase, is one of a class of practical jokes that involves experienced people making fun of newcomers by giving them an impossible or imaginary task. For example, inexperienced campers are told about a bird or animal called the snipe as well as a usually ridiculous method of catching it, such as running around the woods carrying a bag or making strange noises. Since real snipes (which are often mistakenly thought to be non-existent) are difficult enough to catch for experienced hunters, the hunt never succeeds for newcomers.

Snipe hunts are similar to hazing except that the abuse is embarrassment from trickery rather than physical humiliation.

The name comes from a family of shorebirds called snipe that are notoriously difficult to shoot.

Contents

[edit] Fool's errands

Fool's errands are tasks that cannot be accomplished because of fate or because it is a joke. They are often employed as hazing or to get an annoying subordinate out of the way. They mainly come in two varieties: trying to track down something that does not exist, or trying to accomplish an impossible task. Others in on the joke will often redirect the victim to several different places. Sometimes, especially with military commissaries, people will stock up cans, bottles, and such with fake labels. For example, Air Force commissaries often stock up on fake bottles of "prop wash".

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[edit] Common items

[edit] Work crews, workshops and so on

[edit] Mechanic Shops

  • Exhaust bearings
  • spark plugs for a diesel engine (diesel engines do not use spark plugs, though they may use glow plugs)
  • Having someone check the coolant level for an air-cooled engine (such as in an older Volkswagen or a Deutz AG engine).
  • Blinker fluid or blinker fluid reservoir
  • Winter air for tires
  • Muffler Belt
  • Headlight oil (from Red_vs._blue)

[edit] Boy Scouts of America

  • teflon-coated sponges to clean dutch ovens
  • Dutch oven polish
  • a bacon stretcher or soup slicer
  • a "left-handed smoke-shifter"[1], supposedly a device used to deflect smoke from a campfire
  • a non-existent electrical outlet in the woods, or a "tree adapter"
  • a sky hook, for hanging tarps/rain flies
  • a length of "shore line" — often campers will be sent to the waterfront to get this
  • dehydrated water, styrofoam stakes, or the glass hammer. Generally used less often, as these items are self-contradictory, and most marks will get wise to the joke.
  • spaghetti peeler; the story goes that your Mom gets her spaghetti "unpeeled" at the store. Often upon going to see the cook or storemaster will be asked additional questions: right or left handed, metal or wood, brass or aluminum, large or small.
  • Compass water, supposedly the water that is inside your compass that somehow gets depleted over time

[edit] General Military

  • winter air for tires
  • lightstick batteries - also chemlight batteries, lightstick fluid, a chemlight recharger, or chemlight refuel kit
  • electricity dust
  • a can of night vision
  • a can of beep for the horn, a can of radio squelch, or a can of track tension
  • a length of chow line (the line in a mess hall), gig line, or flight line
  • radar contacts
  • cannon report (The sound of a cannon being fired)
  • frequency oil
  • squelch grease
  • headlight fluid
  • a bucket of prop wash
  • a box of grid squares
  • "Go paint the last post" (Commonwealth military nations)
  • Can of muzzle blast
  • Reverse lights for a Humvee (they do not have reverse lights)
  • Keys to a Humvee (They do not have any)
  • Blank Firing Adaptor (BFA) for a field gun (Rifles have them: field guns don't)
  • PRC-E8 Radio - Pronounced "Prick E8" where E8 is the rank of First Sergeant (From the PRC-119 Field Radio)
  • Exhaust samples - Oil samples are taken weekly from military vehicles, so many a new Private is sent to collect "exhaust samples"
  • a box of ohms
  • "Go pet the gama goat" – the gama goat was an amphibious vehicle, not an animal
  • Armor flaws – New privates are given chalk and a hammer and asked to mark armor for tanks and armored personnel carriers with x's wherever the armor may sound weak. Inevitably, the tank commander (usually an officer or senior NCO) returns to a vehicle covered with chalk marks.
  • Stack of 0311s (Marines)- 0311 is the MOS Designater for a Rifleman in the Marine Corps. When asked for the Private is usually dogpiled.

A few sound like military nomenclature:

  • BA-1100 November (balloon)
  • TR-2E (tree)
  • ST-1 (stone)
  • ID10-Tango Form (idiot form)
  • K9-P Solution (canine pee)

[edit] Aviation and airborne military units

  • the keys to a drop zone
  • canopy lights (for parachute canopies; supposedly for night jumps)
  • afterburner flints
  • a bottle of prop wash (the airflow from a propeller)
  • the key to the approach gate (the airspace an aircraft flies through during its landing approach)
  • a length of flight line (part of an airfield)
  • roof rack (generally reserved for cargo transports, common among commercial aviation)

Often competing companies in commercial aviation will work together when someone is being sent for an item. New employees will be sent to another company's section of the airport, only to be told that company doesn't have what the employee seeks, but another does.

[edit] Military units aboard ships

  • the golden rivet
  • "mail buoy watch" a non-existent buoy a sailor is asked to watch for
  • a bucket of propeller pitch or propeller wash or a can of jet wash
  • several feet of fallopian tube (also a popular prank in civilian hospitals)
  • the keys to the ship
  • sound powered phone batteries
  • bulkhead remover
  • a length of waterline, shoreline or gig line (See U.S. Navy slang)
  • relative bearing grease
  • a bucket of A-1-R (Air)
  • report sighting of a CGU 11S (Seagulls)
  • keys to the sea chest (where a seawater pump takes suction or discharges overboard)
  • a machinist's punch (provided by an obliging Machinist's Mate)
  • boatswain's nuts
  • tool for drying the centreboard trunk (which cannot be dried unless the entire sea is)
  • "summon the duty neutron" on nuclear-powered ships, this is the neutron designated to start the nuclear reactor any time during the current watch

[edit] Farms and ranches

  • Replacement tractor suspension springs (tractors have no suspension system)
  • A rooster egg
  • The testicles of a cow or steer
  • A backward chain
  • A 1/3" wrench.
  • A Saddle Strecher (usually you find out about your 10th stop later ... i think so and so barrowed mine)

[edit] Restaurant Kitchens or Catering

  • A bucket of steam
  • A tub of elbow grease
  • A mince hook (supposedly for hanging up mince)
  • Asking the trainee to chop flour (usually being told it is to some end such as "to release the gluten")
  • Asking the trainee to wash the dirty water

[edit] Miscellaneous

  • In marching bands: the cymbal key (supposedly for tuning cymbals)
  • In hotels: a room that does not exist
  • In television: the chroma key to open the genlock
  • Also in television: additional time code to refill a tape machine that is running out
  • In baseball: the keys to the batter's box, and a container of curve balls
  • In the grocery business: food for the lobsters (which don't need to be fed)
  • Also in the grocery business: A shelf stretcher
  • In lumberyards: A hydraulic board stretcher.
  • In chemistry laboratories: a bucketful of benzene rings.
  • In newspapers: a paper stretcher, or a word stretcher (for stretching words to fit in a column)
  • In restaurants the (any food) repair kit, e.g. the pizza repair kit.
  • On motion picture sets: a bag of T-stops (the exposure markings on the side of a camera lens)
  • In theatre: Cleaning a dirty gelatine square (gelatine is water-based, and disintegrates when wet)
  • In trucking: To pick up a load of sailboat fuel.
  • In health care: To fetch a fallopian tube (actually a part of the female reproductive tract)
  • In bars: A left-handed shaker tin
  • In bars: Banana juice

[edit] Regional

In Bavaria, tourists were taken on extended expeditions to search for chamois eggs, or on all-night Wolpertinger stakeouts. In Scotland, tourists are told about the wild haggis hunts, while in the Western United States, they may be warned about the savage jackalope.

In crafting circles in Sweden and Norway, it is popular to send someone looking for a "synvinkel" or an "ögonmått", this supposedly being some kind of measuring tool. ("Synvinkel" is a reference to a set square, which is "vinkelhake" in Swedish. The expression "synvinkel" actually means "point of view" though. "Ögonmått" is similar, meaning measuring by eye)

In Australia foreigners may be warned to remain alert for Drop bears, mythical creatures that are a popular joke amongst the locals.

[edit] Popular culture

Spoiler warning: Plot and/or ending details follow.

Variations of snipe hunts are a common plot device in comic literature, including:

  • In the premiere episode of the US cartoon Doug, the titular character is pressured by bully Roger Klotz into searching a local pond for a "neema toad", a play on the word nematode.
  • In the machinima comedy series Red vs. Blue, the newly arrived Private Donut is sent to "the store" for elbow grease and headlight fluid while Private Caboose was sent by Tucker and Church to stand at attention for an imaginary General who comes and inspects the base and the most important part of the base, the flag.
  • In an episode of the cartoon Ren and Stimpy, the pair join the Scouts and are sent on a snipe hunt which Stimpy successfully completes, to Ren's chagrin.
  • In an episode of King of the Hill, Bobby and his friends are sent on a snipe hunt and wind up injuring an endangered whooping crane, believing it to be a snipe.
  • In the first episode of SpongeBob SquarePants, "Help Wanted", SpongeBob is sent off to look for a "nonexistent" spatula (a hydrodynamic spatula with port and starboard attachments and turbo drive), which he finds.
  • In an episode of Cheers, the guys at the bar take Frasier snipe hunting in the woods, and drive off, leaving him. On his return, he manages to convince the others that he had a great time, and fools them into going on another snipe hunt, while planning to take the car and abandon them.
  • In the DC Comics mini-series JLA: Year One, Green Lantern asks the naïve to the surface world Aquaman to find a "bulb wrench".
  • In the episode "Great Snipe Hunt" from the cartoon Camp Lazlo, Lumpus sends the Bean Scouts on a snipe hunt.
  • In the daily comic FoxTrot by Bill Amend, the characters Jason and Peter send their father on a snipe hunt in the woods outside of Uncle Ralph's Cabin.
  • In the movie Hackers, new students at a high school are informed of what turns out to be a nonexistent pool on the school's roof. The door from the roof to the school locks behind the students.
  • In one episode of Holby City (Team Holby) Kyla Tyson sends soon-to-be Doctor Matt Parker for a long stand on Darwin Ward after overhearing him complaining about the multi-disciplinary training he is on. He is told to wait by the desk for a minute by Chrissie Williams, until Sam Strachan (Tom Chambers) lets him in on the joke a few hours later.
  • In the novel "Gust Front", Thomas Sunday is sent on a search for a can of "nannite undercoating", for which he jokingly substitutes K-Y Jelly.
  • In the Dragonlance book, "Brothers in Arms", Caramon and Raistlin recall a snipe hunt from when they were kids.
Spoilers end here.

[edit] See also

[edit] Further reading

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