Sidney Morgenbesser

Sidney Morgenbesser (September 22, 1921 – August 1, 2004) was a Columbia University philosopher. Born in New York City, he attended the Jewish Theological Seminary and the University of Pennsylvania, arriving back at Columbia to lecture in 1953. In 1975, he was named the John Dewey Professor of Philosophy. Although not a prolific writer, Morgenbesser has been known particularly for his sharp witticisms and humor.

[edit] Stories and quotations

During a lecture the Oxford linguistic philosopher J. L. Austin made the claim that although a double negative in English implies a positive meaning, there is no language in which a double positive implies a negative. To which Morgenbesser responded, "Yeah, yeah." (Some have it quoted as "Yeah, right." See litotes for the actual linguistic status of this hypothesis.)

Morgenbesser was leaving a subway station in New York City and put his pipe is his mouth as he was going up the steps. A policeman told him that there was no smoking on the subway. Morgenbesser pointed out that he was leaving the subway, not inside it, and hadn't lit up yet anyway. The cop replied, "If I let you do it, I'd have to let everyone do it." The professor replied, "Who do you think you are, Kant?" The word "Kant" was mistaken for a vulgar epithet and Morgenbesser had to explain the situation at the police station.

On the independence of irrelevant alternatives: After finishing dinner, Sidney Morgenbesser decides to order dessert. The waitress tells him he has two choices: apple pie and blueberry pie. Sidney orders the apple pie. After a few minutes the waitress returns and says that they also have cherry pie at which point Morgenbesser says "In that case I'll have the blueberry pie."

During campus protests of the 60s Morgenbesser was hit on the head by police. When asked whether he had been treated unfairly or unjustly, he responded "Unfairly no, unjustly yes. The police hit me unjustly, but since they hit everyone else unjustly, it was not unfair."