Wikipedia:Sandbox/World's Longest Poem

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World's Longest Poem is a collaborative effort to write the world's longest poem. Currently, the longest poem is considered to be Mahabharata at about 1.8 million words. Our goal is to get to 1.9 million words to beat the Mahabharata in word count.

1 Record
2 Rules
3 The Epic of Roy

[edit] Record

Poem began on September 22, 2006

[edit] Rules

You may add as many lines as you like
Begin each line with a number sign (#)
All lines added must by in sets of rhyming pairs:
- A - A - B - B
Try to maintain logic and try to tell a story
You are free to edit lines already added, but don't delete anything.
You do not only need to add lines at the end, but make sure that any changes to the middle of the poem maintain the same rhyme scheme (see above).
Update the wordcount when you are done.

Following is the World's (Future) Longest Poem!

[edit] The Epic of Roy

Wordcount: 7856

Line Count: 969

[edit] Act I: Roy & the anarchist's rebellion

One day in a village in Russia, it's told
A young Russian boy named Ned had turned thirteen years old,
Who found out from the mass media
That there was a site called Wikipedia.
Which outshone the sites of Xanga and Myspace,
Since there was knowledge to be had all over the place.
It was nowhere near as fun as runescape
Here is a tale of his narrow escape
But the government had banned it from the people,
Saying it was propaganda's steeple.
The people who defied soon disappeared,
Whole rebel villages were eventually cleared.
Now, in the boy's village, called Koldur,
Children went shoeless and people were poor.
Anarchists were upset and decided to fight,
And snuck around clandestinely by night.
An appropriate action is what they sought,
So they devised a risky but glorious plot.
The boy thought "My mother says she loves me just as I am,
I wonder what would happen if I live life on the lam"
Our young boy watched as their plans were spun.
And soon he decided to join in on the fun.
"So what need we do?" he asked, impetuously.
"Whatever we tell you!" they answered, tempestuously.
So the boy joined the rebels on their daring fight,
Leaving his mother behind in the night.
Leaving home comforts for the stench of war,
A world of guns and plots, bravery and semaphore.
The anarchists' objective was plain and clear;
To strike into the repressive government's heart terror and fear,
To bring power to the people of the region,
And make Koldur's poor into a formidable legion.
The anarchists set off from the town before first light,
Determined to air Koldur's plight.
But the government had sniffed out their newly formed plans,
And sent troops to the area to repel the Russian clans.
Government troops well on their way,
The tide of the gathering battle seemed to sway.
And caught in the middle was the thirteen year old boy,
Now known amongst the rebels as Roy.
The anarchists moved west towards Russia's main city,
The weather now starting to look rather gritty.
After five day's march, troops and rebels met,
Each ready to wipe out the other side's threat.
To the west rose the government soldiers,
The rebels hiding in the eastern boulders.
From behind the rocks the rebels shot at will,
But not a single troop did they kill.
So the battle was staged on that stony valley,
Troops getting mustered and rallied.
To the west on a sudden, stony slope,
Waited the anarchists breathing with hope.
And to the east stood the Russian troops and soldiers,
Raining bullets upon the rebel's boulders.
In the middle lay a grassy field,
A bloody battle it would soon yield.
On either side rose jagged hills,
A morbid setting that lessened their wills.
Yes, already fear had set in,
As the enemy armies created all sorts of sound and din.
Roy crouched behind a large rock,
His brothers in arms running in around in shock.
For at least ten members had fallen dead,
Honourable freedom fighters, Russian born and bred.
Seeing that waiting was mad,
The anarchists took the little initiative they had.
Running down the bleeding knoll,
This late charge played a major role.
Roy gave covering fire with his AK-47,
And the government soldier's death count grew to eleven.
Pulling out their bayonets and hand gun,
Towards the rebels the troops did run.
Screaming and yelling with all their might,
The two armies did fight.
Combatants firing and killing and dying,
Hand grenades exploding, bullets flying.
Mangled remains littered the field,
Horrified victims, skin badly peeled.
These horrors of war, Roy did not forget,
Joining this fight, he did regret.
The rebels were no match for the advanced soldiers,
So they retreated back past the boulders.
For he who fighteth and runneth away
Lives to sip his café au lait
The anarchists were almost all crushed,
But the government wanted their menace forever to be hushed.
For three days and nights the rebels and Roy were chased into the mountains,
Over rugged terrain and valley fountains.
But these crafty Russians knew the land well,
The chase had been sounded its last death's knell.
The soldiers lost in the Russian winter,
To their different clans the rebels did splinter.
However they knew it wouldn't be long,
Before new soldiers would come along.
So Roy ran to his lonely home in Koldur,
Far away from the memories of that bloody war.
He spent what precious time he could,
Playing with his sister and helping cut wood.
His father had been killed many years before,
So emotion swept over Roy, knocking him to the floor.
Crying and sobbing, there he lay,
Grieving his innocence for the rest of the day.
His mother both angered and sad for his lack of decision,
Gave him her thoughts with perfect precision.
"My son, you have been spoiled by war",
"Hurry, now, and get out that door".
"For now that you're here, soldiers will come",
"And they will bring death to your sister, you and your dear old mum".
"I weep to tell you to go my boy",
"But foolish you were, my young Roy".
And with those parting words, Roy never returned,
He had been forgotten, hated and now spurned.
Although it was right for him to go,
He was beset by pain and anger and woe.
The communists told him so

[edit] Act II: Enter Willy

And then there in front of him suddenly stood,
A man with black robes, pale skin, and dark hood,
When Roy asked for his name, the man did reveal,
That he was an angel by the name of Willy on Wheels.
"Why have you come to me?" Roy did inquire.
In this situation so hopeless, so desperate, so dire.
Wheels replied, "Follow me, I will show you the light"
"For we will liberate the articles of Wikipedia tonight!"
Willy brought Roy along to his little shack
And offered to him "Take a load off your back"
"Just sit down on this chair" as his plans were unfurled
"I will open your eyes to a magical world"
"All the facts you have always looked up in Encarta"
"Though their writers are smart, still some people are smarta'"
"There's a place where they go and collect all their genius"
"About so many subjects that are heterogeneous"
Roy then asked with the innocence of a baby lamb,
"So are we going to help this great new world expand?"
But Willy just laughed, with a gleam in his eye
"My young Russian friend, we'll help make this world die."
For Willy on Wheels had an alterior plan,
To help the government destroy Wikipedia to the man.
But Roy was dazzled by Willy's finesse,
To this deviance, he would never have guessed.
Thus they went onwards for weeks and months and for days,
Adding jokes about celebrities and friends of gays,
No article was untouched, no subject was spared.
Did any admin stop them? No, no one dared!
Thus Roy and Wheels stood laughing, upon the wiki's remains,
For every good vandal whacker was sick, dying, or slain.
The government laughed merrily at the work of their assassin,
Hoping this "Wikipedia" trend would soon be passin'.
Willy had done his job well with the blinded Roy,
Now he would have no use for the boy!
So one night after a particularly hard vandal,
Willy blew out the dim room's candle.
In complete darkness he slowly crept,
Towards the bed in which Roy slept.
Pulling a dagger from his sleeve quickly,
Accidentally he stood on something prickly.
Awoken by Willy's yowls of pain,
Roy saw his dagger and ran out into the night's rain.
Seeing that his quarry was getting away,
Willy stormed out to make the boy pay.
Willy had all but one task to go,
And Willy imagined the rewards he would sow.
The government would pay him well for his evil deeds,
He smirked quietly as he followed Roy into a nearby lake's reeds.
Around them frogs croaked and insects flew,
Joined forces with Willy, Roy would now rue.
The dark caped villain waded through the water,
Holding his blade ready for the slaughter.
Meanwhile, Roy swam low,
This was the darkest hour he thought he would ever know.
Such a peaceful night, with stars on the glow,
Not representing the hunting below.
Willy called out to the boy so sweet,
"Come out and I'll lay my knife down at your feet."
"We have no need to fight, my dearest child,"
"I had a case of delusion ever so mild."
"I was dreaming, you see, and thought you were an intruder,"
"To stay out longer would only make you seem ruder."
But Roy was not buying any of it,
Who did he think he was? An idiot? A twit?
"So what do you say my pal, my chum?"
"How about I even take you back to your dearest mum?"
"I'll get her to take you back I swear,"
"I'll try to get the soldiers to stay clear."
"So what do you say, let's forget this misunderstanding,"
"And remove this killer's branding."
"I love you like my very own son,"
"Please don't keep me chasing you on the run."
And Roy thought, "What if it is true?"
So Roy stood up and said "Willy, I'm sorry I've upset you."
Willy waded over to Roy's spot,
He knew he would only get this one shot.
Knife hidden behind his back,
He ushered to Roy to come to his shack.
Roy rushed over, sorry indeed,
Unaware of the danger he should heed.
Willy smiled an evil smile,
And hugged Roy in a loving style.
"My dear boy you are a fool,"
"For you were but a mere tool."
"My reward is only fit for one,"
"And I will get it all, whilst you get none."
While Willy hugged the boy, he tightened his grip,
And pulled the dagger from behind his hip.
"This is the end for you and me,"
"Only one can survive and escape free."
And while Willy sat there, carrying out his plan,
Suddenly Roy started laughing, which shut up the other man.
"Why are you laughing?" Willy demanded with force,
"Because I am for better and you are for worse."
Roy answered "Willy, you forgot, in all of your libation,"
"The power that lies in peer collaboration."
And though this comment was meant to be a deterent,
Willy actually began to laugh without warrant.
"Haven't you learned yet" he screamed at the lad,
"That a little vandalism can make it all go bad?"
But Roy wasn't bothered, he simply stood up,
And once again, Willy's laughter was quite abrupt.
For Roy had clicked to the wiki Willy had showed before,
And that was when Willy's jaw fell to the floor.
Because he was reading an earlier edit,
To which Roy's username had been given credit:
Attention all users: We must attack this guy,
Calling all pirates, ninjas, and samauri,
He's destroying our work with his ideas of woe,
Yet it's all in our hands to make sure he will go,
Let's get Willy on Wheels and stop his evil might,
We can make all his vandalism end tonight.
It was then Willy knew that his plan was defeated,
His child turned right and his power depleted.
But he would not go down, no, not without a fight,
If they wanted to kill him, they must do it right.
And though he was sure that it would leave him dead,
An evil plan began to form in his head.
Jimbo Wales coaxed him to go to bed,
But Willy did otherwise, leaving Jimbo full of dread.

[edit] Act III: Stand of the rebels

Soon after he finished and was ready to rumble,
The back door to his shack quickly began to crumble.
And when it had fallen, the night had revealed,
Several thousand editors, all with gun and shield.
"You're outnumbered" said Roy "That you can plainly see,"
"That is true" said Willy "But Roy doesn't outnumber me."
Then, much to to the appaul of those standing outside,
Willy reached out his hand and, in one simple stride,
Had headlocked poor Roy, who was now screaming "Heck!"
Because Willy had placed a knife onto Roy's neck.
"Don't move!" exclaimed Willy "Don't fly and don't float,"
"If you get any closer, I'll slit this boy's throat!"
Willy smiled, for he knew his plan would be fulfilled,
He felt very nervous, but also real thrilled.
For though he was rotten and bad to the core,
He had never tried to take a hostage before.
So Willy slunk back into his house, Roy in toe,
Ready to air this event, go with the flow.
He was happy and nervous, but had a big smile,
And when he thought it had been a long while,
He peeked out of the curtains to check the scene,
But more angry editors gathered, more than there had first been!
Willy knew that his hours left were low,
That this saga had only one way to go.
But when he thought all was lost,
From behind the editors rose a machine from the frost.
It was big and mean and swivelled with sound,
Huge clanking feet pounded to the ground.
"Argh, the government's here!"
Editors scrambled as the machine drew near.
Willy sighed a sigh of relief,
For his brush with death had been only brief.
The government's machine, called Megasuit,
Open fired on the crowd below, and rockets and missiles it did shoot.
In the government's eyes, Roy was no longer a small teen,
He was the greatest symbol the rebels had ever seen!
He united the masses for a common cause,
And he had united the editors and anarchists without a pause!
So the government wanted this menace dead,
And the Russian king wanted to see his head.
But for now Willy's plan was but to escape,
Before the rebels could regather and reshape.
The Megasuit stopped next to the shack,
And a tall boarding ramp appeared from its back.
Still holding Roy, Willy climbed to freedom,
And government soldiers began to lead them.
Up into the Megasuit's control centre they went,
Through endless corridors, winding and bent.
When they reached the control room it was an awesome sight,
Below the Megasuit gathered the rebels in might.
They began to climb the Megasuit's legs,
"Quickly," The captain called, "Boost up the regs!"
With a deep throated rumble, the feet turned to fire,
Lifting the Megasuit from the land to the captain's desire.
The Megasuit was airborn and flying high,
"Now it's time for those rebels to all fry!"
With a flick of switch and a press of a button,
The editors below were turned into roast mutton.
Cackling aloud, Willy was content,
And all his hard work seemed well spent.
Roy was watching in horror as the scene unfolded below,
Most of the rebels killed in one blow!
Thrown into a small holding cell, Roy wept for the rest of the trip,
The captain flew onward and Willy took a short kip.
It looked now as though the government would triumph again,
But from the Koldur clans, rebels stirred with a plan.
"Rescue the boy which united us all,"
"Destroy the king, so give Vladik a call."
This Vladik was the anarchist leader, a tough surly bloke,
Fond of vodka and partial to smoke.
Obviously he was the one to call in need,
"He'll make the Communist pigs bleed!"
So Vladik was summoned to lead the group,
And they perfected the cunning plan with a prisoner government troop.
Vladik knew of a being they called "The One",
Author of great, killer of fun.
Yes some knew him to be wise,
Others who had seen him had fallen to their demise.
Vladik called upon this sumpreme being,
To send the Megasuit and its crew fleeing.
To rescue the annointed one,
And to smite the dark robed one.
Then angels sang out in immaculate chorus,
For dear Jimmy Wales had come right before us.
With his bureaucrats and sysops, too many to number,
With a heavenly force sent the beast down asunder.
They slew and they blocked the vandal sock puppets,
And cast Communists down like flimsy old Muppets.
Yet when they came to kill the one with dark hair,
They could not see him, nor find him, nowhere.
For Willy, Roy and the captain had escaped on an escape cruiser,
And even Jimbo knew he was the loser.
For Willy had won and he had failed,
Into the sunset Willy gleefully sailed.
Hearing news of this in Koldur,
Vladik knew this was not the end of the war.
Readying the rebels, prepared to go,
Vladik cursed as it began to snow.
"This cursed weather will hamper our travel,"
"We'll now not fly, but drive by gravel."
A long drive ahead was surely a set back,
But Jimbo had a headstart from Willy's shack.
After a day's flying, the cruiser finally landed,
And to government gaurds, Roy was handed.
Willy went along to take his cut,
And behind them the Kremlin's giant gates were secured shut.
In the king's throne room Roy was placed,
A noble fighter, now disgraced.
"You are the one who now units those rebels,"
"With you around my promblem doubles, no trebles!"

[edit] Act IV: The death of Willy on Wheels

The king cast a weary eye to Willy,
"My dear man," Shouted the king, "You have been quite silly."
"Did you really think a reward was fit?"
"For your small role? That tiny bit?"
The king mockingly threw down a single gold bar,
"You Willy, are as worthless as tar."
Willy confused by this sudden change in heart,
Began to run and make a start.
But the gaurds siezed him before he got away,
And never again did he see light of day.
For he was thrown into the nearby lake,
And then thawn out by being burned at the stake.
Then the king glared at Roy,
"Oh wait until you see the fate for you boy!"
"It will be twice as bad, you'll be battered and bruised."
"We'll even put you on tortured machines we've never even used!"
The guards gripped Roy tight,
And soon after he lost his sight.
For they tied a scarf around his head,
In preparation for the glorious dead.

[edit] Act V: Roy the rebel leader

He awoke a long time later (he was now fifteen),
When he realised he was sparkling clean!
"But I thought they gripped me tight,"
"And I remember nothing after losing my sight!"
As he stirred from his extended slumber,
He glanced around and began to wonder.
The Kremlin was vanished from sight,
And nothing was there but deepest night.
Before him the great Jimmy Wales appeared,
And Roy thought his sanity had also disappeared.
"Fear not Roy, you're in safe hands,"
"The rebels and me brought Wikipedia to all the lands."
With those parting words Jimbo was gone,
And morning light was soon shone.
Wondering what had taken place,
Roy's heart began to quickly race.
Roy was stunned to find that a beard had grown on his chin,
He was also curious as to where to begin.
No soul in sight, no familiar scene,
Roy knew his chances were lean.
But the boy had the inkling of hope in his heart,
For his had been a major part.
Trusting he had not been forsaken,
He tried to find where he had been taken.
A barren plain with rock and snow,
In the distance a mountain ice flow.
His legs were stiff from lack of use,
He wondered if the government had signed a truce.
Then Roy heard it come from afar,
The hum of an engine, a rebel car!
It drew closer still towards the boy,
And Vladik the Russian called, "Roy! Roy!"
The car skidded up to where he was,
Vladik smiled, "How's it going boss?"
"Boss," Roy retorted, "But you are thine!"
"Nay Roy, but you are mine!"
"Do you not remember our campaign against Communist pigs?"
"Manning the rockets? Climbing the rigs?"
"You became our leader my dearest boy,"
"You helped us defeat them my brother Roy!"
But Roy was confused, he did not remember,
Nothing of the conquest or Communist dismember.
"And what of my mother and home?"
Vladik looked down, "Let's not recite that sad tombe."
"But tell me now, Vladik, of my home in Koldur!"
"That Roy," Vladik said, "That is what turned the tide of the war."
"Your family was killed, and house burned to the core,"
"That very act was what united every Russian poor."
Roy sat on the snow covered ground,
"Make not one noise, not even one sound."
And Roy cried for his family and every rebel member,
As now he began to slowly remember.
"Vladik, tell me but one fact,"
"I can't remember, how is it so that I'm here intact?"
"Well, on the last battle," Vladik recalled,
"It was you, not me, from the Megasuit, who falled."
"We had stolen control of the giant ship,"
"After we had loosened the king's iron grip."
"But from the baggage dock you fell to the ground,"
"To find you alive, well, it did astound!"
Now with his memories firmly pieced,
"What do we do now?" Roy teased.
Vladik lit up a cigar,
And somewhere from beyond Russia, darkness did stir.
Yes, yet another force had been chosen from elder and minor,
Yes, our dear old represors from dear old China!

[edit] Act VI: War with China

The Chinese government had seen Russia's success,
And this put them under heavy duress.
"Find and kill the Russian leader,"
"Throw him into the ox and yak feeder!"
So another war was brewing across the lands,
And the fate of the world was in Roy's supple hands.
Hearing of this mustering of men,
Roy set off to China with a force of ten.
Roy, Vladik, and a Chinese scout called Wong the Panda,
Picked up the last seven Russian rebels in a spacious lander.
Thus Roy headed to China with the Panda called Wong,
Who could juggle and entertain and sing Russian songs.
But, unbeknownst to Roy, Wong had a secret desire,
To eat all those midgets that live in the Shire.
The Shire is (for all those who don't know),
A province in China near Guiyang and Haikou.
So off set the company of ten fighters,
Roy brought the weapons, Vladik the lighters.
Wong brought the gadgets, food and extra layers,
And before a month was up they had crossed the Himalayas.
Now Wong was called a Panda due to his big physique,
That and belonging to a group of Tibetan ninja's very unique.
The Panda ninja's were a formidible bunch,
And met biannually for a pot luck lunch.
They had spies set around China, who had alerted Roy;
The ninja had crept up behind the Russian leader boy,
"Roy of Russians, hear this note quick,"
"Summon the Russian rebels and call on Vladik,"
"The Chinese Wikipedia-repelling menace is ready to act,"
"We found this in the Chinese files we hacked."
"They heard of your fight with the king,"
"And now the Chinese are led by none other than Sly Ming!"
"So prepare for the raging battle, bigger than the last war,"
"Haste be upon ye, Roy from Koldur."
Roy remembered those words as the snow whipped his ears,
And he hoped that the war was not as big as the ninja's fears.
But the ninja was correct about the following fray,
And the outcome looked fogged grey.
Along the windy road through the mountain scenes,
There were a couple of Chinese girls who looked in their late teens.
Vladik pointed with a playful smile as they crossed the road,
Roy jested, "I think they'd rather be with a toad."
In any case, Vladik stopped the car right behind the girls,
Who were dressed in delicate but expensive pearls.
Vladik called, "You ladies looked lost to me,"
"I'll drive you home, trust in me."
Slowly the girls turned to the car,
They smiled and laughed as a sound rumbled from afar.
"A trap, a trap!" Roy called, "Vladik you thick baboon,"
"Risking out lives for a quick swoon?!"
The girls disperced into the valley with Vladik making a fist,
As two thousand Chinese horse riders appeared in the far mountain's mist.
Vladik clearly startled by the many by the turn of event's,
Pushed down the pedals and aired the car's vents.
The horsemen started down towards the men,
Clearly outnumbering the Russian's puny ten.
Clearly lost for thought, Vladik rushed the car forward,
"What are you thinking? We're gaurded by a magical ward?"
Roy screamed as the Chinese loomed nearer,
But at that moment Vladik's plan seemed clearer.
Vladik smiled, "You see my boy, I am not a fool,"
"Wong hang out the back with that tool."
Vladik pointed to the car's spare petrol reserves,
"Let's give China exactly what it deserves!"
Then the car made a hard right,
And three Russian rebels held onto Wong tight.
Wong hung off the back of the car's back,
Spilling petrol in a line over the mountain track.
After a huge line had been poured over before the horsemen on the run,
"Roy, shoot it now with your gun!"
It took Roy but two shots to light the fuel,
And although they were smaller, the Russians had won this large duel.
"But now we must go a longer way round,"
Roy shuddered, "And I certainly don't like the engine's current sound."
The horsemen halted as they ran,
The whole force spread the fire's span.
"How long will it hold them back I wonder?"
Wong laughed, "Let's not stick around to ponder."
So the Russian rebels back tracked around,
And only one other way to China's border had they found.
"Through the Death Forests of Ol'?"
Wong shook, "Ah there lies many a man's tormented soul."
The looming forest was forboding in its darkened state,
"Go through there! I must debate!"
Wong explained of the tales of ghosts,
And the walking dead, spirit hosts!
Vladik looked at the narrow forest way,
"Well we have but no choice on this accursed day."
So Vladik moved the car forward painfully slow,
Knowing the predicament was dire for the car's tank was on low.
"Oh man, oh man," Roy stuttered,
As the engine popped and sputtered,
Until it stopped, when Wong asked, "What's this?"
They had stopped at the edge of a tall precipice!
"It looks as though we have to travel by foot."
For before swayed a thin bridge made of vine and root.
On the distant side stood another rock wall,
And below the bridge was, well, a very long fall.
So a Russian rebel set out first,
Hoping that the bridge was hexed or cursed.
But the first few steps he took were stable,
"Cross this bridge, we'll be able!"
But as he uttered those last words,
From above flew a flock of large birds.
Wong exclaimed as the Russian was hoisted into a nearby forest of pine,
And now the company was reduced to but nine.
"Run swiftly and quick across the bridge ropes,"
Vladik praying to keep up the rebel's hopes.
"By the time they realize we're on the other side,"
"We will have a chance to run and hide."
The rebels ran, and safely they made it,
Roy looked back and exclaimed, "Oh dang it!"
For his gun had been left at the other end,
Along with the teddy bear he'd been trying to mend.
He tried to go back, for they were essentials,
But Vladik grabbed him, not at all gentle.
He scolded Roy, saying "You cannot go back!"
"Look, the Chinese come on horseback!"
And so it was true, the Chinese were near,
Delayed by the fire, they were now here!
The Chinese came upon the bridge of wood,
And saw their horses could not cross (they have hoove).
So they got off and crossed, two by two,
Led by their leader, the dreaded Pak Zu.
He screamed and he shouted at the men,
To cross now, to get to the end.
For the rebels were running, running so fast,
Soon they would be gone, and never be back at last.
So the Chinese, now on foot, held on to the ropes,
Went as fast as they could, and despite their gropes,
Did cross with much haste and begin to look,
In every cranny, hole, and nook.
For the disappeared rebels and their leader, noble Roy,
Eager to be done so as to feast on bok choi.
Their searches were fruitless, they would soon come to see,
As Roy and his pals were not easily seen to thee.
You see, the rebels and Roy,
They had escaped long ago, the eight and the boy,
To the valley known as Ching Nigo.
Lost to man many a millenia ago.
Such a feat few mortals could make,
But this was Roy, a champion, most great!
The Chinese would not reach the valley for many a day,
For Roy and his rebels had gone all the way,
Travelled quite a distance, gone quite far,
In but a solitary, singular day, yar har!
Looking at Ching Nigo, Wong observed that they must walk,
Quite a steep distance, the men just might balk.
"Fear not!" said Vladik, spotting a path,
"We'll walk down that way, it's not hard, do the math!"
Said Wong,"Don't you find it strange?"
"For the path to be here, smooth and paved,"
"In an old, abandoned place such as here?"
Not heeding his words, one rebel walked without fear,
Arrows shot out and pierced him all over, but worst in his face,
And with that the rebels were down just to eight.
For there was someone here, of that there is no doubt,
A Communist, perhaps, who wants the rebels out.
Although we know not just who this may be,
This villian was evil, most Communistic indeed,
Consumed by fear and rage and greed.
He sought to end the rebel's fight,
For he did not sympathize with their just plight.
Said Roy to Vladik "There are dark ones about!"
Vladik replied, "Yes, there is no doubt."
Warriors appeared, numbering twenty in all,
The rebels were outnumbered, but Roy gave the call.
"Fight my rebels, we can take them,"
"We are the Russians, Мы воюем!"
Inspired by their native tounge,
They rebels drew their weapons and spun,
To meet the Commies head on, to strike,
Against the Chinese, there would be a grand fight,
Now Roy had no gun, but he was well off, for he had a sword,
And with it he would slice up the Chinese, their blood staining the floor.
At this came a mop with ADMIN on the side,
To wipe up the mess and console those who cried.

[edit] Act VII: War with Willy's Wheels

The deed had been done, there was naught more to do;
But then he realized that all there was for dinner was stew.
He didn't eat dinner 'cause he was busy editing Wikipedia,
And he spent so much time on the computer that he broke up with his girlfriend Lydia.
How upset Roy was when he heard this bad news,
He cried 'till his nose ran and he got covered with ooze.
But then a fairy appeared and said "Don't despair",
But he toasted it with a flamethrower and burned off his hair.
He had finally gone crazy, and this he made known,
When he went into the village and killed chickens with stones.
"Oh, No. I'm gonna die!" Said the chicken named Bob,
With a cry and a wail and a great big fat sob.
But then Roy shook his head, realized he'd been sleeping,
On his feet, while the rebels were weeping.
For in the great battle against the Chinese, I do say,
Noble old Vladik had been slain.
Roy mourned his death, wondering all the time,
Why visions of mops, chickens, and Lydia had come to him in the past few ryhmes.
To take old Vladik's place as chief advisor to Roy,
Was Nadan the Strong, Vladik's brother you see.
Nadan was powerful, strong, and wise,
And Roy knew that Nadan would do well to advise.
But Wikipedia was beset by Willy's disciples,
And the sysops could only barely hold them off with rifles.
If Roy didn't get rid of this terrible bunch,
He knew they would gladly have Wikipedia for lunch.
The wheel crowd fought, edited, deleted,
The admins' side fought, blocking where needed.
Then Roy found a flamethrower, fired at will,
The deadly heated ions gave Wikipedia a thrill.
The last stand of Wheels gave and fell back,
As Roy went forth with an army in black.
For this was the color of the army's uniforms,
As black absorbed heat, and thus kept them all warm.
So Willy and company quickly ran away,
So that they can vandalize another day.
The realisation the Willy soon came to,
Was that in Soviet Russia, Wiki vandalizes YOU!!
With this shocking new truth now out in the open,
He was well and truly shoken.
But then he came up with a brilliant idea:
He had a close friend he held dear.
He took an appropriate form of transport
To arrive at a North Carolina airport.
He found an Internet terminal, paid five dollars to continue,
And started vandalizing from a more anonymous venue.
But the sysops tracked him down, hacking without remorse;
Willy saw a squad of cops, running down the concourse.
He immediately took a flight to Tokyo, Japan.
No one could track him down, he reasoned, in that ancient land.
But all the Internet consoles there worked in Japanese;
He could not figure them out, and they made him sneeze.
He needed to find a free country whose language was English.
Only the US could satisfy that wish.
So, he flew back to Denver, USA
And used various Internet terminals to vandalize that way.
No IP block could stop him, for if they tried this tool,
He would change computers, and curse tham all for fools.
As he was vandalising; Wiki-Defcon increased to level one;
A mass of admins on RC Patrol reverted his changes to the article about fun.
The database was locked down; pages protected;
His army of sockpuppets caused his block to be reflected.
They worked undercover; during the stillness of midnight in UTC time;
Deleting content; line by line.
But lo, here came Jimmy Wales!
Who wouldn't listen to Willy's Tall tales
Willy saw Wales, and jumped up from his seat,
And said "Jimmy Wales, just admit defeat!"
"Because Wikipedia's doomed, you know I've won."
But suddenly he found himself looking down a gun.
It was the REVERTER 2000, the latest anti-vandal gun
The only one who had them was Jimbo, and he owned every one.
He picked up the gun and shot Willy and got Wikipedia
Back in control of the girl named Lydia.
When poor Jimbo got home,
He could see that he was a gnome.
This was because he shot Willy.
Because of this his son called him "Stiffy".

[edit] Act VIII: Rebuilding Wikipedia

And thus Jimbo Wales returned and was triumphant
Nothing could have stopped him, not even a charging elephant.
In his wisdom, he spoke to the boy named Roy
Who was only fifteen, still a young boy.
Without Roy, Wikipedia would not have survived.
Many admins and bureaucrats owed him their lives.
And all the sockpuppets and vandals screamed for mercy,
But obviously the ever faithful Roy never gave them any.
He blocked them remorselessly, ending their antics
In vandalizing articles, from Edison to Deer ticks.
So Jimmy decided to make Roy his equal
In running Wikipedia, and maybe its sequal.
So they rebuilt, editing and reverting
The changes caused by Willy's flirting
With the death of all Wikipedia anti-vandals
So that no one could stop him from editing candles
Or all those other articles that
Provide information, about protein or fat.
Little Jimbo supported everyone who wanted
The administrator need to have Wikipedia reverted.
As for little Roy McCoy,
He stayed still, as a young boy.
So fabulously thrilled was he in his very heart
To see Jimbo in action - poised right from the start
That all thoughts of the great plans laid by evil Ricky
Ah yes....you've not heard of him, well brethren - here it gets tricky!
Yeah son, dat's right, these rhymes about to get sickly.
I said roll dat dro, smoke that weed, hit that green, and roll that sticky.

[edit] Act IX: War with Evil Ricky

Yet in his tower,
Evil Ricky holds not a flower.
"In your face, sucker!" He says,
When Roy was having fun with his aides.
Yet, Ricky starts his vandalism group
When no one knew when he would start a stoop.
It became known, a group vandalized Wikipedia
When it was not known to Roy's girlfriend Lydia.
She sang a wild shrill mournful song
Until she was attacked by the great King Kong
Unknown to all, it was the Monkey
Who had vandalized Wikipedia and made everything funky
Oh when this was discovered
Every news station had it covered.
When everyone heard of how this monkey was so mean
People started to say words that were very unclean.
It was as if someone had obscenely done their business,
Right where common sense was, is, and would be.
Wikipedians longed for the days of yore
Reading Encyclopedia Britannica is such a bore
Damn Ricky and his evil eyes!
Then Roy thought, "Hey! Why not send out some spies?"
So the heroic Roy deployed some spooks
To check on Evil Ricky's stock of nukes.
It turned out that it was it -
Ricky had certainly made a fit.
To stop all this "WikiDefcon,"
Jimbo hired a man named "Prawn."
Prawn set off to catch villains, but
Found there was a funny hut.
Prawn found out - Ricky was dead,
But who could have possibly shot him in the head?
Suddenly, an assassin came out.
Uh oh, time to sprout!
The assassin ran after him, beginning to moan and shout,
But no-one cared, because no-one was about.

[edit] Act X: War with an Assassin

Ah, yes, it was finally known to man:
Wikipedia will never be under a fan!
The assassin was hot on Prawn's tail!
Oh, what would happen, would Prawn fail?
Never doubt the prawn, said he the man
For the prawn, never doubted our plan
And the plan goes as thy would say
Who used much haste in his word play
And thus tricked the assassin into thinking
That the prawn was a lost cause with his drinking
So yet again the prawn had won
But at the cost of his friends was it done
For his non stop drinking told a tale
His home was not here but with a male
Who was not only his companion but a friend,
Who would dive into the deep end;
This friend's name was Archibald,
His eyes were probing and his face was appalled.
Prawn had brought out the best in him,
But alas! He was not all he seemed;
Out of his anus, poop he did beam!
But this poop would not doop, the assassin
For the assassin was dashin', dunckin' and rollin'
To avoid the disgusting, splattering feeling
So he dodged and he ducked, in a way grooving.

[edit] Act XI: Realization of a Dream

Jesus, thought Prawn, what a mess!,
What a time of worry and distress.
The name of the game is life,
No time for worry or strife.
All this for the longest poem?
Rambling and stupid.. sad and forlorn.
Prawn and Roy, Willy and the rest,
A sad tale from a fallen crest
Of a wave, beautiful and blood red.
The poets wave, long ago dead.
The poem continues, the acts must go on
Until the record is beat, the battle is won.
Others arrive and aid with the dream
The poem continues, let's have a strong theme.
Continuing on through "acts" ever shorter,
But somebody came to kick out the mortar.
"Hey" shouted somebody "I'm sure that this poem
Is un-encyclopedic and is helping no one!
I'm sure hoardes of people will stand behind me
If I nominate this under an mfd".
Well the mfd came, both sides argued with valor.
There was no attacking nor swearing or squalor,
But the debate was too even, both sides arguing strongly.
Some say "This uses User subpages wrongly!",
Some direct you to WP:NOT, saying this is a bore,
Others say it falls under WP:IGNORE,
But, alas, the poem remains here in this hatch,
It seems that the sides were too evenly matched.
And though a "no concensus" was reached very soon,
Someone renominated it the next afternoon.
And though the first debate was noble and more,
The new battle raged, trying to take blood and gore.
And then came the boy, all dressed in gold
Up to the dragon, he ventured bold!

[edit] Act XII: Peace Be At Last!

From above high the clouds,
to below sigh the mounds,
atlast a new king has been crowned
"Peace be at Last!" they proclaimed, and Buddah frowned.
A man named Jigaboo Jones,
A tree, the sky, and stones
All stood and were lifted
Who knew all this could happen because a silly man name Ned.
And then entered a girl named Danielle
Who was fair of skin and bourne of Hell
She took Ned gently by the hand
And led him to her barren homeland
Danielle's father, being the weasel that he is
Tried to sell Ned some Hell timeshares, as well as a bottle of "Satan Jizz"
Ned said, "Wait, you're just ripping off Stephen Colbert's Formula 401!"
Danille's father said, "Well tough shit, the marketing campaign's already been done!"
We're marketing 'Satan Jizz' as an alternative to the weak mortality of Colbert's seed.
We even have a Superbowl commerical; such a task is quite a dirty deed!
So do not question the might of our infernal Master!
You can make some money, only if you act faster!"
Ned thought this proposal was too lame; he would not falter
But then Danille's father offered to take the chastity belt off his daughter
Ned signed the contract in blood faster than you can say "Deal!"
Danille no longer was fastened to her father's seal

[edit] Act XIII: Another Threat - The Evil Yor

But deep in the ancient woods there lied a greater evil
Much more daring than a Kineval.
An apparition was forming in a cave
And it sought to undo the good Roy gave.
From the villages, men could see
Another Roy, Oompa Loompa Doompity Dee.
"Roy!" they called out to get his attention
But in reply they received rejection.
The other Roy walked into the village
And began to kill, steal, and pillage.
All but one of the villagers escaped
A firey death, and didn't get raped,
The other Roy spoke to this one vilager
A heartfelt discussion - Villager to pillager.
And they looked each other in the eye,
Fear running deep, both wishing to die.
And the other Roy spoke in a voice never heard before -
"Behold, mortal, for I am all evil. I am not Roy. I am Yor.
Run, and tell all pathetic humans.
To bow before me, all liars and true men."
Word of Yor spread throughout the country until the news came to Roy.
And he said, "Let's go and get this boy
But I'm losing my valor, my moral's a blister,
Let's not hurt him, let's hurt his sister!"
And Roy went to work, going to Yor's sister's home
He broke down the door, and then ran in alone.
She screamed and she screamed and she screamed some more.
Till she threw up all over the floor.
When he heard this, Roy's concience went up in a blaze
And he said, "I feel that I no longer can haze
Those who have done none to hurt me, no.
Bye bye, so long, pip pip, cheerio."
As he left her house, he turned for one last look.
Yor's sister was passed out on the floor, holding a red book.
The book fell open, and behold, inside
Was a treasure that the Roy quickly spied.
Twas a vortex of incredible power
The light and energy from it did shower
All nearby with painful strength
Until they were each more powerful at length.
Than the hapless and dejected Roy
Who was really no more than a boy.
It was then from inside to home, tried and true,
Yor's sister was beginning to come to.
It turned out in her state of resignation
She had had an amazing revalation.
The sister, beauty and wisdom defined
Did plan to slay the evil Yor in an act very kind.
To any that think of betrayal
Would do well to hear his wail
And so up she did pick
A quite large yellow brick
A brick with more power than it would look
It contained all the power that was found in the book.
And the brick she did hurl,
Not too far (as a girl),
And, lo this act did do no good
Except that, now, Yor understood
Although she had a lovely bust
His sister, he could no longer trust.
With his Ak47 he blew the guts out (of the girl)
But still the brick was in the air that she hurled.
It seem the brick did fly,
Like an angel in the sky
And hit the master "Self-destruction-of-the-world" switch.
And Yor just smiled, that little witch!
And then saw the earth in full glory
A potential end so very gore-y.
Yet there sat Eric Rosenbloom
A man, with a head, the shape of a mushroom.
He caught the brick, in the light of the moon
To only realize that it would be his tomb
The brick clobbered him in the head
And it did kill him. Killed him dead.
Yet, the story goes on, in the echo of Lebovic's voice
who talks of nude men, in the Rescomp, his choice
yeah what a weirdo
shoot, I screwed up the meter
and the rhyme scheme
sorry
Maybe it's best to start again
The End.
Or maybe...it isnt. Who knows?
Maybe..the story changes, just like the wind blows.
Shall we carry on? Shall we start anew?
Or shall we continue? Really, it's up to you.
Of course someone has made mistakes,
But sometimes it wont matter for goodness sakes!
Lets carry on, this was meant for fun,
Aww screw this, I'm gonna get me a Icing-Covered-Bun!
Alright, I'm back from my delicious break
It's time for a new road to take.
Where were we? Oh yes, disaster avoided,
Eric is dead, the sister it too,
Roy and Yor are in a stew
Standing in Yor's palace of sin
People gathered, waiting for a fight to begin.
The chival Roy versus corrupt Yor
And what was it they're fighting for?

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