Wikipedia:Requests for feedback

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Contents 1 (new section) 2 Al Jazeera English 3 National Civil Defence Cadet Corps 4 The Princess of the Stars 5 Thameslink Programme 6 St Pancras Thameslink railway station 7 Red Fox 8 I Not Stupid for GA 9 Doodlebug 10 New Jersey State Constitution 11 human eye color 12 Hamersley, Western Australia 13 Georgia General Assembly 14 Furl 15 Student Project: Articles Related to Downstream_processing at WP:SUP 16 ThinkGeek 17 plato 18 Wikipedia:Internal_query_string_links 19 "Victor Hugo" painting letters v.h. help please! 20 Hempfield High School 21 Earl Mindell

[edit] (new section)

Hi, my name is Bill Kendall, and I am an accomplished portrait artist and aspiring writer at 52 the ripe old age of 52. I recently joined WikipediA as a contributing writer/editor, because I am very impressed with what you are doing with this site. This is a good example of emergence theory using positive feedback as well as negative feedback to create a more sentient site -- than most of the other sites you find on the web. I want to know if you will allow me to contribute an autobiography of an Artist/Writer: me. I would like to submit multiple drawings and paintings some times for illustration purposes; at other times I will contribute single ones with write-ups explaining techniques or brief histories. I would like to start an autobiography "One Artist's Sketch Pad" as an on going serial developmental fashion. Can this be done? I need to learn how to delete my duplicate ones (contributed artwork) and get all of them linked together as well as to other sites that are in your WikipediA network, that might be interested in seeing: the developmental stages of an Artist/Writer from the time I started at about 12 years old tell now. I would appreciate your attention to this matter and I look forward to working with you all. Please check out my artwork and make sure it meets your high standards, if not, please let me know. thanks, once again. Until next time...I await your kind replies,

bk

--FarroRavenKnight 23:35, 20 November 2006 (UTC)

Bill, first of all, if you want your images to be global to all Wikipedias, and other sister projects on the Wikimedia network, I suggest you upload the images on the Commons, the shared media repository. Secondly, your work on Wikipedia has to be encyclopedic, and not autobiographical; Wikipedia is not a personal webhost, so you might want to start your own personal wiki, which is pretty easy nowadays. Cheers! --May the Force be with you! Shreshth91 14:37, 2 December 2006 (UTC)

[edit] Al Jazeera English

Please help bringing the Al Jazeera English article up to featured status.

However, considering the US regime's long-running smear campaign against Al Jazeera, I have one earnest request:

Before editing the article, go and actually watch the channel. That should be a requirement for anyone editing the article. The link for free online watching is in the article, so most users shouldn't have a problem doing that. 139.30.24.34 19:29, 25 November 2006 (UTC)

If you wish to improve an article to featured status, consider requesting a peer review instead. RFF is more appropriate for newer, less developed articles. However, Al Jazeera English does not appear to be anywhere near featured status, so consider aiming for Good Article status instead. You may wish to consult a relevant WikiProject, where you may find useful resources and other Wikipedians willing to help you improve the article. I hope you succeed in bringing Al Jazeera English to good or featured status. All the best to you, both in real life and as a Wikipedian! --J.L.W.S. The Special One 14:25, 28 November 2006 (UTC)

A good Wikiproject to bring to attention on this article is Wikipedia:WikiProject Television, or a sub-project thereof. ~ crazytales_{-Stalk My Contribs!!!-} 00:26, 2 December 2006 (UTC)

[edit] National Civil Defence Cadet Corps

Request for feedback on content that could be added into or edited in article

Add in things like Activities the corps does, Uniform and Insignia, Membership. Does the corps offer any Courses members can addend. Any Competitions ? Brian | (Talk) 00:58, 10 December 2006 (UTC)

[edit] The Princess of the Stars

I would love it if I could get some feedback about this article. The Princess of the Stars is an opera by Raymond Murray Schafer. Thanks for your advise on what needs work! S.dedalus 08:07, 27 November 2006 (UTC)

Not a bad start at all. A few suggestions:

• First of all, it's always best to copyedit before submitting. There were some spelling/grammar issues that I caught in a quick once-over; possibly more I didn't see.
• If possible, it would be improved by some critical sources; reviews, etc. Did any notable actors participate in the performances? If so, this could be mentioned.
• The "See Also" section isn't needed; most of the links there are already wikilinked in the article's text.

If I think of anything else I'll add it. Crystallina 22:07, 29 November 2006 (UTC)

Thanks! I'm on it. S.dedalus 23:57, 30 November 2006 (UTC)

[edit] Thameslink Programme

Hi, I'd like some feedback for this article please. Here's my version and here's what it looked like before I made several major edits. Edvid 12:55, 27 November 2006 (UTC)

The other works section can probably be be absorbed into the main prose. Other wise it looks good to me. Cheers, ✎ Wizardry Dragon ^{(Talk to Me) (My Contributions) (Support Neutrality on Wikipedia)} 01:50, 1 December 2006 (UTC)

Cheers. By the way, what would the article need to reach GA status? Edvid 17:49, 2 December 2006 (UTC)

[edit] St Pancras Thameslink railway station

I would greatly appreciate some advice on how to improve this article, which I think is good enough for Start-Class requirements, although it hasn't been assessed yet. It was created in April 2006 but hasn't changed significantly since then. Edvid 17:28, 27 November 2006 (UTC)

The first thing I notice looking at the article is the future stuff. Wikipedia is not a crystal ball. What it is intended to serve or function as should perhaps be incorporated into the main prose, while more speculative future content should be avoided. That's one thing you can do to improve, anywho. Hope it helps! Cheers ✎ Wizardry Dragon ^{(Talk to Me) (My Contributions) (Support Neutrality on Wikipedia)} 01:44, 1 December 2006 (UTC)

Thanks for responding. With respect to the crystal ball comment, would some additional referencing be enough? As far as I can see, most of the speculation is documented in some of the referenced links anyway - nevertheless I'll take your comment on board. Edvid 17:57, 2 December 2006 (UTC)

[edit] Red Fox

The article on red foxes need a bit of layout work. A few of the pics posted are blocking text and creating unsightly blank spots.

Seems to have been fixed. —Seqsea (talk) 01:50, 1 December 2006 (UTC)

[edit] I Not Stupid for GA

I don't wish to increase the backlog of my process, but I created it to use it, and I'm using it again.

Since 9 September, I did an extensive rewrite to this article, on my favourite movie. Several SGpedians and I agree that it is close to GA status, which I am aiming for.

Before nominating the article, I need to address two concerns:

• The "Political satire" section. This section is unreferenced. Should it be removed? Is it needed to satisfy the "broad coverage" section of the GA criteria?
• The "Production" section. The lack of coverage on Singaporean movies has made research very difficult. What information needs to be included in the Production section?

I would appreciate other feedback or suggestions for improving the article.

--J.L.W.S. The Special One 14:46, 1 December 2006 (UTC)

[edit] Doodlebug

Can someone please reconsider including our article for doodleBug.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Talk:Doodlebug

Our original article was removed, but we feel if someone would actually take the time to look at what we have posted in talk regarding it's removal, it would be considered legit.

Thanks so much for your time and help.

(Please forgive me if I have posted here in error, and give a solid redirect if needed.)

RedSodaPop - Artist and Member of http://doodleBug.desktopcreatures.com

Please see this policy; your website does not meet the notability guidelines as set out in the aforementioned policy, and hence has been deleted. In plain words, your website is not noteworthy enough to have an article on Wikipedia. --May the Force be with you! Shreshth91 14:28, 2 December 2006 (UTC)

[edit] New Jersey State Constitution

I've tried using peer review twice. No one seems to be interested in commenting and suggesting corrections for this article. I've been trying to bring it to FA. All and any comments apprieciated. Evan^{(Salad dressing is the milk of the infidel!)} 18:01, 1 December 2006 (UTC)

I'm sorry, but you'll have to send it for a third peer review, and hope someone responds. Try posting at the talk page of a relevant WikiProject to get reviewers. RFF caters to newer, less-developed articles, and an article which has already achieved Good Article status is unlikely to benefit from the RFF process. There were several concerns raised in the failed Featured Article nomination - have you addressed them yet? All the best to you in your quest to improve New Jersey State Constitution to featured status. --J.L.W.S. The Special One 15:01, 5 December 2006 (UTC)

[edit] human eye color

I would like to find out which genes create what eye color in human for instance blue and blue =blue or grey or ? question my exwifes eyes are brown her parents brown and my eyes are blue as well as both my parents our daughter eyes are green sometimes slightly hazzle Im having some problems with people my wife knows and she more or less wouldnt assist me in a leagal investigation on illegal infrared and attemped [hom] my daughter said mama dada mama murder dada

Eye color is an inherited trait influenced by more than one gene.[2] In humans, three genes coding for eye color are currently known: EYCL1, EYCL2, and EYCL3.[3][4] These genes account for three phenotypic eye colors (brown, green, and blue) in humans. Although it was once thought that brown eye color was always dominant and blue eye color was always recessive, the fact that two blue-eyed parents can give birth to a brown-eyed child has shown that the determination of eye color does not follow the simple rules of Mendelian inheritance, although this is so rare that scientists didn't even notice that it happens (perhaps 1 in 100,000,000) until recently. It is not like two brown haired parents who have a blonde haired child, because blonde and brown hair is the same gene pair. Eye color is the most demanding of any gene, due to the fact all four have to be a the same color or the eye color will not be pure, and will be mixed with each other (like blue-green).[5] Eye color usually stabilizes when an infant is around 6 months old. [6].

For more information, please see Eye color, or ask at the reference desk.

--May the Force be with you! Shreshth91 14:25, 2 December 2006 (UTC)

[edit] Hamersley, Western Australia

Hi, I'm looking for someone to review the above article for me - it's almost entirely been contributed by myself. Problem is I'm too close to it to see the forest for the trees and would appreciate any feedback on how I can improve this article, hopefully towards Good Article status. I requested a peer review at WP Australia but received no response. Orderinchaos78 16:29, 3 December 2006 (UTC)

[edit] Georgia General Assembly

I have been trying to re-do the Georgia General Assembly article. The original was a stub, basically a paragraph long. I was hoping for some feedback on the article and suggestions to make it better. I have to admit I was inspired a lot by the U.S. Congress article and adapted that format in the expansion of Georgia General Assembly. One problem I can already see is that the Capitol Building pic is rather small in the infobox, but I don't know how to make it larger on here.

Any feedback is greatly appreciated. Thanks in advance! Reb 19:18, 3 December 2006 (UTC)

[edit] Furl

"Furl is a free social bookmarking website that allows members to store searchable copies of webpages and share them with others."
This article was a stub and I've attempted to expand it. This is my first Wikipedia contribution, so I'm very unsure of the quality of my content. It also still looks a little small, but I don't really know what else to add. Here is the diff between the previous version and my edits: http://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Furl&diff=92021142&oldid=74564163

Arungoodboy 16:57, 4 December 2006 (UTC)

Hello, Arungoodboy! I'm Hildanknight, creator of RFF. Here are a few pointers; I hope you find them useful:

Are you sure that Furl is notable enough to merit a Wikipedia article? http://furl.net has an Alexa ranking of 2,247. If Furl is notable, the article should establish its notability. If Furl is not notable, or the article is suspected to be spam/advertising for Furl, it may be deleted.

The Furl article focuses too much on the features of the website. One of the good article criteria is "broad coverage" of the article's topic. To achieve broad coverage, I suggest you add sections about the history of Furl, and any notable reviews or criticisms of the site.

I noted that the article lacks references. To ensure verifiability, I suggest that you find and add some references to the article. Formatting references may look difficult, but you simply have to enclose the reference's URL in <ref>...</ref> tags, and add a "References" section, which should only consist of a <references/> tag.

Once these issues have been addressed, feel free to return and request more feedback. All the best to you, both in real life and as a Wikipedian! --J.L.W.S. The Special One 14:46, 5 December 2006 (UTC)

[edit] Student Project: Articles Related to Downstream_processing at WP:SUP

Twelve articles on aspects of downstream processing are in preparation as part of a student project. The students, mostly seniors in Cornell's Biological Engineering program, are all first-time editors and reviewers, learning as they go - as am I, the instructor. The students and I would very much appreciate peer review, human or javascripted, on any of the articles listed here.

Already open for review:

• Depyrogenation (new article) - User:Jhsuosu
• Lyophilization (expansion of existing article) - User:Wwc26
• Gelatin manufacture (expansion in requested area) - User:GBoran
• Cohn_Process (cold ethanol precipitation for blood plasma fractionation - requested article) - User:Vivek216
• Tablet_and_Dose_Preparation,_Pharmaceutical_Preparation (new article) - User:Emk39
• DNA_Separation_by_Silica_Adsorption (new article) - User:ReginaSophia
• Protein_Precipitation (new article) - User:babusingh252
• Evaporators - was, multiple effect evaporation (expansion) - User:PShoor
• Crystallization (Engineering Aspects) (expansion) - User:Steve_Lund
• Downstream_processing (expansion) - User:Susato (the instructor)
• Viral_Processing (Removal and inactivation of viruses in pharmaceuticals derived from animal tissue - new article) - User:Evjammin
• Chromatography_in_Blood_Processing - User:Snickerr291

Thank you! susato 21:47, 5 December 2006 (UTC)

[edit] ThinkGeek

Hi, a while ago I made an enormous article expansion on a popular e-commerce website called ThinkGeek, the page has since been edited but a large-scale edit was made to the article regardless. I managed to find a lot of information about the website which wasn't already available (the slogan, the year it was founded, a few t-shirts they sell, and so on). What I'd like to know is what could I have done to push this article into more of a good article status? My biggest concerns are perhaps perhaps the software and hardware sections, but I made do with the information that was there. Then there's the Products list, perhaps I can go into more detail into what was being sold? The Geek Points category I'm very proud of, but a majority of the text was copied and incorporated into the article, styled to the specifications of the encyclopaedia. What could I do next? Here's a link right here... oh wait... I mean HERE! =P Druss666uk 22:31, 5 December 2006 (UTC)

[edit] plato

who was plato in the story allegor of the cave?? —The preceding unsigned comment was added by Courtney 15 (talk • contribs).

This page is for requests for feedback on articles. You might try the Reference Desk, though note they won't do your homework for you. --Wooty Woot? contribs 20:40, 9 December 2006 (UTC)

[edit] Wikipedia:Internal_query_string_links

I have been bold and created this article to document a template that I created to addresses a limitation of the current wiki software. I believe that the template is useful and well coded. What are the thoughts of experienced wikipedians? BBilge 00:37, 10 December 2006 (UTC)

[edit] "Victor Hugo" painting letters v.h. help please!

VICTOR HUGO] how would i know who to contack, too show a picture of a painting, that may have been done by victor hugo? can anyone help me! I have a painting mid 1800s signed V.H. I CAN NOT SEE HIS AUTO-GRAPHS TO COMPARE? THIS PAINTING I HAVE; I WAS TOLD IT may have been done by VICTOR HUGO!? IS THERE ANYONE OUT THERE THAT MAY OR COULD HELP ME! MY EMAIL IS <redacted> i would like to send a few pictures, if you have a hard time contacking me my <redacted>, im from gray maine! thank you gary vickerson. <redacted> I TRIED TO SEARCH THROUGH THIS SITE BUT ITS A LITTLE TOO MUCH FOR ME TOO, FIND WHAT IM LOOKING FOR! SO IM ASKING FO RSOME HELP, ANY TYPE OF HELP!

• Questions like this belong on the reference desk, but you'd be better off finding an art dealer near where you live. - Mgm|^(talk) 10:26, 11 December 2006 (UTC)

I've also removed your contact details to avoid you being spammed. - Mgm|^(talk) 10:27, 11 December 2006 (UTC)

[edit] Hempfield High School

My concerns are posted in the discussion page of the article.

[edit] Earl Mindell

Biased?