Progress Quest

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Progress Quest

Developer(s)	Eric Fredricksen
Designer(s)	Eric Fredricksen
Release date(s)	2002
Genre(s)	parody of MMORPGs
Mode(s)	Zero players
Platform(s)	Windows

Progress Quest is a Windows computer game created as a parody of EverQuest and other massively multiplayer computer role-playing games. It is loosely considered a Zero-player game, in the sense that once the player has set up his artificial character, there is no user interaction at all; the game "plays" itself, with the human player as spectator.

Progress Quest parodies computer role-playing games, especially EverQuest, for what many gamers consider to be uninteresting game play. EverQuest, among many other MMORPGs are infamous for their "auto-attack" combat system where players press a button to initiate combat mode and from then on there is usually little to do other than watch; Progress Quest mocks this with its "fire-and-forget" mode of gameplay. Progress Quest also pokes fun at traditional RPG races, classes, stories, quests, items, and more.

The program was made available by Eric Fredricksen in early 2002. Fans quickly joined in on the parody by submitting numerous fake reviews to several popular freeware download sites and game review sites giving the Progress Quest the highest scores possible.

The game displays the character's stats on the screen, including several progress bars representing how far the player character has advanced in the game. The character gains experience points, items, and encounters monsters. Items are then sold at a profit to purchase new equipment, relative to the character's level. There are also quests that are part of an overall "plot progression," adding a new chapter after each previous chapter has been completed.

On starting a new game, it presents the player with a few options, such as what race and character class they want their player character to be. Stats are rolled to determine Strength, Constitution, Dexterity, Intelligence, Wisdom, and Charisma. Players start off with subpar equipment, eventually earning better weapons, armor, and spells.

Nearly none of the above-mentioned character statistics and equipment has any effect on gameplay, however. The only exception is the "strength" stat, which affects carrying capacity, indirectly influencing the speed of level gain.

1 Plot
2 History
- 2.1 Press
3 See also
4 External links

[edit] Plot

The story tells of the history of Grumdrig and the creation of the realms. Currently there are four realms: Knoram, Expodrine, Oobag and Spoltog. The story mimics convoluted fantasy plots, using archaic and made up words such as "aberdoxy".

[edit] Races

Battle-Finch

Crested Dwarf

Demicanadian

Double Hobbit

Double Wookie

Dung Elf

Eel Man

Enchanted Motorcycle

Greater Gnome

Gyrognome

Half Halfling

Half Man

Half Orc

Land Squid

Lesser Dwarf

Low Elf

Panda Man

Skraeling

Talking Pony

Trans-Kobold

Will o' the Wisp

[edit] Classes

Bastard Lunatic

Battle-Felon

Birdrider

Fighter/Organist

Hunter Strangler

Inner Mason

Lowling

Mage Illusioner

Mu-Fu Monk

Puma Burgular

Robot Monk

Runeloremaster

Shiv-Knight

Slow Poisoner

Tickle-Mimic

Toungeblade

Ur-Paladin

Voodoo Princess

[edit] Equipment

All equipment in the game is randomly given out as a reward for several instances in the game such as completing a quest, killing a monster, leveling a character, and especially when at the market, in which the character uses gold from the loot to 'upgrade' his or her equipment. These items usually consist of two adjectives and a noun. Like the games Progress Quest mocks, these items have statistics and the adjectives are variables describing the item. The character level is used to determine what stats each item has. Each adjective and noun is given a value, and all values add to the player's level.

+0 Stick

+1 Oxgoad

+1 Broken Bottle

+1 Shiv

+2 Eelspear

+2 Bowie Knife

+2 Claw Hammer

+2 Handpeen

+3 Andiron

+3 Hatchet

+3 Baselard

+3 Hackbarm

+4 Crowbar

+4 Mace

+4 Battleadze

+5 Shortsword

+5 Longiron

+5 Poachard

+6 Crankbow

+6 Zip gun

+6 Whinyard

+6 Longsword

+6 Blunderbuss

+7 Broadsword

+7 Blibo

+8 Morning Star

+8 Spontoon

+8 Pole-adze

+9 Bastard Sword

+9 Lance

+9 Peen-arm

+10 Culverin

+11 Halberd

+12 Poleax

+15 Bandyclef

+0 Parasol

+1 Pie Plate

+2 Fender

+2 Garbage Can Lid

+3 Buckler

+4 Acrylic glass

+4 Fender

+5 Carapace

+5 Round Shield

+6 Scutum

+6 Propugner

+7 Kite Shield

+8 Pavise

+9 Tower Shield

+11 Baroque Shield

+12 Aegis

+18 Magnetic Field

+1 Sharp

+1 Polished

+1 Serrated

+1 Heavy

+2 Pronged

+2 Steely

+3 Vicious

+4 Venomed

+4 Stabbity

+6 Dancing

+6 Invisible

+7 Vorpal

+1 Lace

+2 Macrame

+3 Burlap

+4 Canvas

+5 Flannel

+6 Chamois

+7 Pleathers

+8 Leathers

+9 Bearskin

+10 Ringmail

+12 Scale Mail

+14 Chainmail

+15 Splint Mail

+16 Platemail

+17 ABS

+18 Kevlar

+19 Titanium

+20 Mithril Mail

+25 Diamond Mail

+30 Plasma

+1 Studded

+1 Cambric

+2 Banded

+2 Gilded

+3 Custom

+3 Festooned

+4 Holy

+4 Fine

+5 Impressive

Thus, a level 89 player may have a set of +66 Holy Titanium Vambraces which can be rewritten as 66 + 4 + 19, which adds up to 89. Another example would be +54 Festooned Banded Plasma Gambeson, which is rewritten as 54 + 3 + 2 + 30, which equals 89. Thus, when a player receives an "upgraded" item, it is really not an upgrade at all, as the item is of the same value every time, which in itself is one of the biggest mockeries that Progress Quest conveys.

[edit] History

Players may choose to create an account offline for their own enjoyment, or create an online account that allows their character stats to be saved on a ranking website. This allows characters to compare their accomplishments with others while trying to achieve a higher ranking on their respective realm. Players can also join guilds of Good, Neutral, or Evil alignment, though there is no benefit for doing so.

The game has been upgraded several times throughout its history. One particular upgrade added shaded bars to the screen, which caused players to refer to the new version as Progress Quest 3D. On the game's official forum, most of the threads by old-time users led newbies into believing that there exist Silver, Gold, Platinum or even Diamond-Encrusted DVD versions of the game which have supreme 3D graphics.