Play party (BDSM)

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A play party is a social event in which people gather to practice BDSM and socialise with like-minded people. The organizers provide bondage furniture, safe sex supplies and refreshments. Play parties may take place in a dedicated dungeon (run by a professional dominant), a private home or a rented space.

Some play parties have open invitations, others are restricted to members of a BDSM club or people known to the organizers. There may also be a dress code (such as no street clothes), or restrictions on admission such as couples only or no unattached males.

Play parties generally have a list of activities that are prohibited. These rules may be enforced by dungeon monitors (DMs), who monitor the play and wear some kind of identifying item, like a red arm band. Some types of play may be restricted to certain areas; e.g. play involving blood can only be done in an area with a clean tarp.

It is not mandatory to play at a party; some people prefer not to play in public, and only attend to socialise and watch. People may play only with the people they came with, or they may play with people they meet at the party.

The amount and kind of sexual contact allowed varies from party to party and city to city, depending on local laws regarding sexual contact, "bawdy houses" and public nudity. At some parties, penetrative sex may be allowed, while at others full nudity may be banned. Parties have been invaded or harassed by police for alleged violations of these laws.

[edit] Etiquette

Many play parties have explicit rules of etiquette used to ensure that the experience is as pleasant as possible for everyone. A sample list follows.

Read the rules list and follow it. If you have questions, ask a dungeon monitor.

Give people space. Don't interfere while they are playing without express permission, and this includes the aftercare phase of play.

If you want to criticize people's appearance or play, keep it to yourself.

A submissive does not have to submit to any dominant, nor does a dominant have to pay attention to any submissive. A dominant should not give orders to another dominant's submissive without that dominant's permission.

Look but don't gawk. This is not a sex show.

Clean up after yourself so other people can use the station.

Unlike some swinger events, it is generally not appropriate to touch another person without talking to him or her first.

If you are planning a scene that may appear to be non-consensual (e.g. a take-down) or other types of edgeplay, clear it with the dungeon monitors first.