Pirate Cove (webcomic)

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Pirate Cove
Author(s)	Joe D'Angelo
Website	http://piratecove.jb.org/
Update schedule	Daily
Launch date	September 10, 2001

Pirate Cove is a webcomic Joe D'Angelo established on September 10, 2001. According to the author, he began Pirate Cove on a dare after he and a friend spent several weeks reading a variety of online comic strips. It was never intended to last as long as it has, but the day after his first strip was September 11, 2001. Hoping to somehow make the World a better place by giving people something to laugh at, Joe decided to make Pirate Cove a daily comic strip.^{[citation needed]}

The learning curve Joe went through while creating the series is obvious. Early strips are hand-lettered and black & white while today's comics are in full color. The comic strips are sequential and broken up into specific storylines in the "Archives" page.

Contents 1 Storyline 1.1 2001 1.2 2002 1.3 2003 1.4 2004 1.5 2005 2 External links

[edit] Storyline

[edit] 2001

Episode I: Farces Of Death

While trying to decide upon a theme for their new webcomic, Joe and Randy are visited by Death who has come looking for Joe's longtime friend, Louis Grodin. Needing a break, Death passes on her otherworldly duties to Randy. Randy attempts to claim Louis' soul, but Louis challenges him to a dodgeball match which Louis wins. Meanwhile, Joe and Death are kidnapped by Joe's neighbor, Boris.

Episode II: The Great White WereShark Hunt

Boris takes Joe and Death out to sea on an old-fashioned whaling ship, intent on killing the Great White Shark that ate his Pappy. Death reveals herself to be Safiya, a beautiful young lady who has been Death on and off since the year 1718. Boris reveals himself to be a WereGiraffe. A mutual attraction between Joe and Safiya is cut short when a storm washes everyone overboard. And Joe is pulled into a parallel dimension.

Episode III: The Wrong Arm Of The Law

In a bizarre twist, Joe is arrested by the Cartoon Continuity Commission and charged with failing to make Sunday strips full color and triple the length of a normal strip. With the help of a 6-foot talking monkey named N.M. Love, Joe successfully navigates his way out of prison by denying that he is the cartoon manifestation of Joe D'Angelo the author. The CCC returns Joe to the middle of the ocean.

[edit] 2002

Episode IV: Reality Bites

Joe washes up on the sandy shores of an island and meets Larry, the only surviving castaway of a plane crash... and a bit of an insane mental case. The island turns out to be the locale of a Survivor-esque game show called "Danger Island," run by megalomaniacal producer Mr. David. When two if his cast members are impaled by a swordfish, Mr. David recruits Joe and Larry to participate. Coincidentally, Louis is also a contestant, having applied long before Joe met up with Death.

Episode V: The Dukes Of Haphazzard

One of the contestants, Coach, is abducted by the legendary Swamp Monster of Danger Island and the two teams join up to rescue him, much to the chagrin of Mr. David who contrives to keep his show running amidst these interruptions.

Episode VI: Nice Guys Finish Where...?

As the show progresses, Larry, Louis and Joe are ejected from the team. While filing out forms to requisition airline tickets back home, Larry copies Joe's information.

Episode VII: Sin City

Joe finally returns home after a nearly year-long misadventure only to find his apartment manager, Flo, has rented out Joe's apartment and sold all of Joe's possessions in a garage sale. The only possession of Joe's that she didn't sell was his Jeep, inside which Joe finds his old friend: Brian Kirby. Brian has been living in the Jeep for nearly two months alongside some of Boris' possessions which Flo was unable to sell.

Joe and Brian hit the road to a new life in Las Vegas, picking up several hitch-hikers along the way. The first notable hitch-hiker is Vince, a magician who accidentally forgets his spell book in the back seat, and the second being Patty Maroni: a girl with a checkered past who wants nothing more than to get to Vegas, cut off ties with her murderous boyfriend, and start a new life. Brian falls in lust with her immediately.

During a brief stop for gas, Joe gets carjacked so Brian & Patty steal a car for transportation to Las Vegas. Patty's boyfriend, Johnny Pacific, escapes from the asylum and tries to kill both Patty and Brian, whom he assumes is Patty's new boyfriend. They escape into a Jimmy Buffett concert and, using a spell from Vince's spell book, Brian accidentally turns Buffett into a rampaging giant who neutralizes Johnny Pacific... then proceeds to smash up the Vegas strip. Joe arrives just in the nick of time with Vince in tow. Vince returns Buffett to his normal size and takes his spell book back from Brian (who has already photocopied the entire thing.)

Episode VIII: Weekend At Patty's

Needing a place to live, Joe, Brian and Patty drive over to Patty's Uncle Gus' house. A bookcase has accidentally fallen upon Gus, killing him. The Las Vegas Mafia believes Joe, Patty & Brian to be new-in-town hitmen who have killed Gus, one of their biggest enemies, so they hire them on full-time hitmen. As luck would have it, their first assignment commits suicide moments before they arrive.

Episode IX: One Big Happy

After successfully avoiding Death for a second year, Louis moves in with Joe, Brian, Patty, and Uncle Gus' irate ghost. Soon, Larry joins them and the house begins to look like like an overstuffed fraternity house. Joe goes to work for Serial Comics where he finds Safiya, alive and well, working as a comic book artist. Brian finds work at the Las Vegas Arboretum while Louis hopes to replace the reluctant Joe as a Mafia hitman.

Margo, an old acquaintance of Larry's, arrives to take Larry back to England. She had seen him on the Danger Island reality show and tracked him down.

Episode X: Mobsters, Inc.

Joe and Safiya decide to accompany Larry and Margo to England while Patty, Brian, and Louis plan to assassinate Senator Nelson during a speech at the Arboretum. Brian's lunatic ex-girlfriend, Janey, turns up in Las Vegas. Sentaor Nelson has a heart attack, making the assassination a moot point. Lee, an intern at Serial Comics, becomes very upset upon hearing of Joe & Safiya's decision to go to England.

[edit] 2003

Episode XI: The Frozen One

Before boarding the ship to England, Joe purchases a set of earrings for Safiya as a Christmas gift (her first in nearly 200 years!) The seller refers to the earrings as "The Cursed Ruby Earrings Of Katfuf." He claims that the wearer of the earrings will see koalas when Death is near. Joe writes him off as a screwball and when Joe tells Safiya about the curse, Safiya laughs it off and gives Joe one of the earrings to wear.

On board the ship, Larry, Safiya, Margo, and Joe are locked in a cargo hold by the ship's Captain and his crew of the undead. With nothing else to do, Margo relates her tale of how she first met Larry.

Margo and her husband Peter were assigned to a weather station north of the Arctic Circle. One day, after being mugged by a polar bear for his wheelchair, Peter discovered a man frozen in the ice. A group calling themselves the National Exploration Society defrosted the frozen one and revived him. Unfortunately, the frozen one's memory did not revive with him. His mind was that of a 2 year old and the National Exploration Society took off, leaving him with Margo and Peter. Margo was pleased, having no children, but Peter became jealous of the attention Margo showed Larry (named after Larry Talbot from "The Wolf Man.") One day, Margo came home and found both Peter and Larry gone.

Margo and the rest escape from the cargo hold only to discover the ship is full of people with extreme deformaties (such as a woman with two heads) or extraordinary powers (such as the man known as the human phoenix - he bursts into flames every few weeks and is reborn from the dust.) Also among the floating human zoo is WereGiraffe Boris. Together with the help of N.M. Love, they overtake the Captain of the ship and continue on to England.

Episode XII: The Big Fat Bloody Bigfoot Incident

Meanwhile, back in Las Vegas, Brian comes up with a plan to bring more tourists in to the Arboretum: he dresses up as Bigfoot. The plan works perfectly until the Las Vegas Police start to suspect something and a gang of furries arrive at the Arboretum, intent on having sex with Bigfoot. Brian gets stuck in the costume and tries using a spell out of Vince's book to get it off. It works, and Brian is freed, but not before he accidentally enchants the hallway mirror. Louis decides it's time he stop being a minor character in life and plots to become an evil genius.

Episode XIII: Yo Ho Ho And A Mouthfull Of Seawater

Upon arrival in England, Larry starts having visions of his former life. Boris kidnaps Joe & Safiya again, planning on transplanting a cloned brain into Joe's body with the help of Dr. Uzen Discharge. During a massive storm at sea, Larry recalls how he became frozen in the ice. The ship is destroyed and Boris, Dr. Discharge, and The Captain escape in the only lifeboat. Larry drowns when Joe cannot hold on to him any longer and Joe & Safiya wash up on the shores of England again. Safiya reveals her interest in returning to Las Vegas... and her boyfriend. Joe is shocked to learn about the boyfriend and feels incredibly guilty over Larry's death. Louis, in the meantime, stages a coup on the Cartoon Continuity Commission.

Episode XIV: Joe In Blunderland (Or: Through The Looking Ass)

Joe returns to the house in Las Vegas to find it deserted. He gets sucked through the enchanted mirror and teams up with a freelance Ranger who claims to have seen Brian & Patty pass through the land. The Ranger, meanwhile, has her own problems: she's on a quest to locate "the Timepiece:" the main component to the mechanism that turns her World. Unless replaced, the World would cease to turn and all of existence would disappear. They are eventually joined by the ghost of Uncle Gus who is thrilled to not be confined to the Vegas house by ghostly law. They discover Patty and Brian (who has really packed on the pounds,) get betrayed by Uncle Gus, escape from the clutches of Lord Justin Time (or was it Lord Justin Case?) and recover the Timepiece. Joe, Brian, and Patty say goodbye to the Ranger and go back through the mirror.

Episode XV: Totally Recalled

Louis is deposited back at the Las Vegas house by the irate Cartoon Continuity Commission just in time for his third encounter with Death. Before Randy can get his clutches on him, though, Louis is recruited by the Time / Space Continuity Commission (who look suspiciously like the National Exploration Society.)

It seems that, after California Governor Gray Davis was kicked out of office and replaced by Arnold Schwarzenegger, Davis enhanced himself with cybernetic technology and sent himself back to the year 1974, intent on "terminating" Schwarzenegger. Louis successfully protects Schwarzenegger with the help of a drug smuggler named Chevre. Louis' dreams of becoming a full time member of the TSCC are dashed, however, when he is returned to his own time at the close of the mission. Louis then gets sucked into the enchanted mirror. (See Robert Gomez' PIRATE COVE spin-off series, MIRRORVERSE.)

[edit] 2004

Episode XVI: Intermezzo

Patty and Brian begin a romantic relationship while Joe and Safiya return to work at Serial Comics. Joe tries to make Safiya jealous by pretending to date Janey. Lee the intern reveals himself to be the last remaining descendant of a family charged with capturing Safifa. He kidnaps Safiya, planning on bringing her to his master, but is stopped by Joe, Brian, and Patty. In the scuffle, Safiya is overdosed with a sleep dart and killed. Remembering a conversation he and Safiya once had about Purgatory, Joe throws himself off the Hoover Dam in the hopes of crossing over, rescuing Safiya's soul, and bringing her back to life.

Episode XVII: Reality, Blurred

Joe awakens in the hospital, his attempt to find Safiya in Purgatory failed. Brian and Patty kick Joe out of the house, afraid that Joe is a trouble magnet. Feeling worse than he's ever felt, Joe agrees to accompany Mr. David to the "Danger Island Reunion" which assembles all of the previous players (sans Larry, Louis, and the old woman who died) in a creepy old castle. Terror follows at every turn as the players are killed off by an unseen attacker. One of the players is eventually revealed to be the killer, leaving only Joe, Woody, Norm, and Norm's twin brother George alive. Driving away from the castle, Joe sees a vision of Larry and blacks out.

Episode XVIII: What Happened In Vegas, Stayed In Vegas

Nothing seems to be making sense for Joe when he awakens in the desert outside of Vegas. His Jeep his been destroyed, the Vegas house has burned down, and Joe is feeling nothing but paranoia where ever he turns. Joe turns to a psychiatrist for help, starts seeing koalas, and suddenly remembers what he was told about his earring: when you start seeing koalas, death is near. Joe wrenches the earring out and collapses.

When Joe wakes up, things get even worse. Norm's brother, George, informs Joe that Joe's jump off the Hoover Dam DID work. Joe's soul has been in Purgatory for three months while Joe's body has been in a coma. Everything Joe has seen has been an illusion, purpetrated by Changelings: Purgatory creatures who feed off of fear. Joe and Safiya's bodies are dying and unless they return to them soon, there will be no escape.

Joe crosses the river Styx (Charon's Boar Rentals: 10% Discount For AARP Members) and rescues Safiya's soul from a Minotaur. They return to their bodies and awaken in the hospital. Lee is murdered in prison by a shadowy visitor.

Episode XIX: The Lion Thing

Patty starts work at a Las Vegas Research Lab while Joe returns to Serial Comics. It seems that Joe's thinly veiled ripoff of "Thor" has become a huge success. Brian adopts a vicious dog whom he names "Memnoch." After accidentally smashing a hole through the kitchen floor, Brian installs a bidet in the bathroom. The pipes burst and reveal a fossilized lion-esque animal under the kitchen floor. Archaeologists arrives to excavate the basement when a large number of bodies are discovered. Joe and Patty are arrested and they assume Uncle Gus was to blame. Brian discovers dead horses and a covered wagon under the kitchen in addition to the bodies. Joe and Patty are released from jail when it is proven that the bodies were settlers who were crossing the desert, got trapped in a landslide, and were preserved for a hundred years, not murdered Las Vegas citizens.

Joe and Safiya are contacted by Detective Donner who is investigating Lee's murder. Upon seeing Lee's apartment, the Detective questions how Lee could possibly have pictures of Safiya which date back to the early 1900s.

Episode XX: Caws & Effect

Randy shows up, hoping to defeat Louis and take his soul. Joe tries to tell Randy that Louis has been missing for months, but when they arrive at the house in Vegas, they find Louis has returned through the mirror. Randy takes Louis' soul with ease and runs away. Memnoch the dog begins acting strangely and Brian discovers a strange metal box hidden in the dog's bed.

Randy returns, livid. The soul he removed from Louis' body was MEMNOCH'S. When Louis returned from the MirrorVerse, he brought along a device that switched his soul into the dog's body and vice-versa. Joe, Brian, Patty and Louis (in the dog's body) are chased throughout Las Vegas, destroying casinos, hotels, and a dog park in the process. When Louis becomes lost among the other dogs in the park, Randy concedes defeat. Brian takes the blame for all the destruction and goes to jail.

Louis' body is stored at the Research Lab Patty where works until the time they can get the device re-charged and return Louis' soul to its proper home. Safiya leaves Joe a note saying that she's leaving Las Vegas.

[edit] 2005

Episode XXI: Crass Reunion

Three months later, Patty is hoping her ties to the Vegas Mafia will help get Brian out of jail. She tells Joe a rival Mafia official is in Las Vegas and if they kill him for Don Martino, Brian will be released. Joe wants nothing to do with it and joins his college buddies for a bachelor party. Patty decides to go ahead with the hit despite the fact she's babysitting Eric's daughter.

Joe and Eric begin to suspect something's up with the groom's best man, KFC, when they discover an envelope full of money in KFC's hotel room. Mike, the groom, admits he's being forced into the marriage and KFC is the Mafia hitman Joe and Patty were assigned to. Due to a comedy of errors, KFC keels over dead. Joe and Patty once again receive credit for a hit they didn't commit and Brian is released from jail. Eric uses the envelope of money to buy Mike a bar in Las Vegas. Eric boards the plane back East forgetting his baby.

Joe decides it's time to get Louis back into his own body. He packs up the device so they can go through the mirror and find a way to recharge it... then Mike gets sucked in first. Joe and Louis jump through the mirror which shatters behind them.

Episode XXII: Deus Ex Machina

On the other side of the mirror, Mike discovers he can understand Louis' barking. The landscape is not as Joe remembered it. After an evening of hiking, Joe, Mike and Louis are attacked by a vicious creature and narrowly escape with the help of a Royal Enforcement Ranger named Edre. It seems that the entire land is under quarantine due to the sudden arrival this race of vicious creatures called The Corocan.

They discover the source of the Corocan: a crashed space ship. Despite repeated attacks by the Corocan, Joe manages to get the device charged halfway. When Louis the dog is mortally wounded, Joe takes a chance and uses the device on Louis. Another space ship arrives to contain the Corocan. it is revealed that the reason Mike could understand Louis was because a small shard of the broken mirror had lodged in Mike's head. The aliens shrink Joe, Mike, and Edre and send them back through the tiny shard.

Back on Earth, Louis' soul is returned to his body and Edre decides to stay, too. Joe forgets to pay his taxes and Louis reveals he is gay.

Episode XXIII: Runaway Groom

Brian and Patty fly to the East Coast in order to return Eric's baby to him. While there, Brian introduces Patty to his parents. Brian's mother immediately dislikes Patty and tries to break them up. Angry, Brian tells his mother that he and Patty are getting married. Calling his bluff, Mother Kirby offers to throw the wedding for them. Brian gets cold feet and decides to run away. Patty, at the altar, thinks she's been stood up, but Brian arrives at the last moment, tells his mother she's just going to have to learn to like Patty, and does something no wedding should be without: he proposes to Patty. She says yes and the wedding is postponed indefinitely.

Episode XXIV: The Ketchup In The Rye

The good news is Joe's comic book, "Thunder God," has been optioned for a movie! The bad news is, Mr. David is producing it. Boris begins popping up in a series of silly disguises that don't fool Joe. Brian, meanwhile, feels like his life has no direction until he starts cooking dinner every night and shows aptitude as a chef. He (with Joe as his assistant) take on a World Famous Super Chef on Mr. David's reality cooking show "Yummy Cookoff." Brian wins the battle despite being seriously outclassed. Boris kidnaps Joe. Again.

Episode XXV: Someone Else's Story

Louis is despondant and paranoid. He's fallen in love with Edre but he also knows Randy will be coming for his soul at any moment. And Randy does. he grabs Louis before Louis has a chance to challenge him. But Louis doesn't die! Instead, he becomes Death and Randy becomes human! They send Randy's crow for help while Louis learns the ins & outs of being Death. Patty suspects Randy isn't being honest about his intentions.

At first, Louis is reluctant to perform his job as Death, but with prodding from Randy, he quickly learns that Death is not necessarily a bad thing. They end up at the hospital when Death is scheduled to pick up the soul of a comatose woman. Louis discovers that Randy could have taken the woman's soul a year previous, but neglected to do so. Louis gets mad, accusing Randy of prolonging the woman's pain. Randy appears unremorseful. Louis takes the woman's soul and the crow returns. Randy and Louis revert back to normal and Louis leaves. Randy waits until both Louis and the crow are gone, then bids goodbye to body of the woman he could not kill: his mother.

Louis returns to the others and they drive home in a rainstorm. The car hits someone in the road but Patty claims the person was THROWN at the car. it is Detective Donner, bloody & disheveled, demanding that they have to find Joe immediately!

Episode XXVI: Jurassic Shark

Joe wakes up on board a cargo ship and soon discovers he is the captive of Boris once more. Boris is on a mission to cure the were-gene but soon runs afoul of Bruce the Wereshark who is on a mission to ACCELERATE the were-gene. Joe finds his chance to escape when Bruce isolates Boris and threatens to kill him, but a turn of events leads Joe to rescue Boris. The simulated moonlight in the hallway triggers the metamorphosis of Bruce, Boris, and the whale Bruce had been harboring on Level 16. The whale becomes a giant werewolf which kidnaps one of Boris' crew and climbs to the top of the tallest building in Nigeria. The reflections from Joe's binoculars causes the werewolf to lose its balance and it plummets to its death. Boris is unable to revert back to human and Joe returns to the United States, boarding a train to Las Vegas.

Episode XXVII: The Man(iac) Who Came To Dinner

• Currently in progress

[edit] External links

• http://piratecove.jb.org/