User:Philbertgray

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Contents 1 My goals, such as they are 2 My Interests and feeble excuses to justify them 3 How to make Watermelon Pie 4 Contact me, I'm desperate for attention

[edit] My goals, such as they are

• Improve Wikipedia content: No discernable skills and plenty of time to prove it.
• Upgrade American culture: Help Parker Posey win the Academy Award.
• Expand foreign relations: Go to India and stalk Shahrukh Khan and Madhuri Dixit.
• Foster animal rights: Work on my dog Roxie's attitude problem.

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[edit] My Interests and feeble excuses to justify them

• Film Noir: Proof beyond a doubt why women should still be called "skirts".
• 3-D films: Jane Russell really will Knock Both Your Eyes Out in The French Line.
• Rita Hayworth: She actually did Dance Into the Dream, mine at least.
• William Castle: He convinced me that nothing in life could be more entertaining than a good movie, or a bad movie with a good gimmick.
• Alfred Hitchcock: The night he made me jump out of my seat in The Palace Theatre in Corsicana, Texas while watching Psycho with my best friend Kay Smith who, to this day, still gets nervous taking showers.
• Boston Legal: A TV series that proves even Betty White can have a bad hair day.
• Nip/Tuck: A wickedly subversive series. Cutting edge drama with a dash of botox.
• Bill Maher: Should be President of The United States, and I know he is going to cancel that restraining order as soon as he realizes I didn't put the "roofies" in his drink. I personally think Ann Coulter did it.
• Indian Films: Where else can you see a lavish musical number for every imaginable situation in a film, including liver failure (Devdas) and the occasional heart attack (Kal Ho Naa Ho).

[edit] How to make Watermelon Pie

Ingredients

• 1 (3 ounce) package watermelon gelatin
• 1/4 cup boiling water
• 1 (12 ounce) package Cool Whip, thawed
• 2 cups small cubed seedless watermelon
• 1 graham cracker crust

Instructions

1. Dissolve Jello in boiling water.
2. Allow to cool to room temp.
3. Whisk in Cool Whip.
4. Fold in watermelon.
5. Spoon into crust.
6. Chill for 2-3 hours or overnight.
7. Yum!

[edit] Contact me, I'm desperate for attention

• Leave message on my discussion page.
• Send e-mail to pmgrayREMOVETHIS@sbcglobal.net (Remove REMOVETHIS from e-mail address prior to sending)