Talk:Paras (Pokémon)

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This is the talk page for discussing improvements to the Paras (Pokémon) article.

[edit] GA on Hold

This article seems to have admirably avoided the trilogy of pitfalls that fiction articles sometimes stumble into -- no POV problems, no OR speculation, and not written from an in-universe perspective. It's also well quite organized, and you've done a good job explaining the related jargon so as not to frighten the uninitiated. The level of detail seems about right for the subject matter, too. I did catch a couple of little snags that were worth looking into, though. If you check out the page's history, I made a few quick grammar fixes myself; the rest is below. It shouldn't take to long to fix up, since overall this article is in good shape. Good work!

  • In Pokémon XD: Gale of Darkness, a Paras can be snagged from Cipher Peon Humah. "Snagged" is a bit informal, and also I'd be more comfortable with this sentence if it was a bit more obvious what "Ciper Peon Humah" referred to. Perhaps something along the lines of "from Humah, a member of the evil Cipher organization"
  • Erika rushed up to her former crazed student to save the Pokémon, but was attacked by the theif, who ran off into the dark city.Was the William formerly her student, or formerly crazed? Former should come after crazed if you mean the latter.
  • Erika informs her that Red has appeared on the other side of the city, causing Red's Pika, in the control of Yellow in his absence, to run off from the trainers. I'm not sure from context what "Red's Pika" is. Is it the name of his Pikachu?
  • As he tried to right himself, the Alliance of Justice, a group of gym leaders intent on defeating the antagonistic Elite Four, comprising of Misty, Brock, Erika and Blaine, cornered the Supernerd,...Could you give us an idea who or what the Supernerd is? Also, it's unclear from context if Misty, Brock, Erika and Blaine are part of the Alliance of Justice or the Elite Four; can you rephrase this.
  • It has round eyes with black pupils, as well as several teeth facing sideways at both sides of its mouth, which looks very sinister due to the way it feeds. Is the latter part about looking sinister sourced? Might be OR/POV otherwise.

Again, very close to GA. Thanks for the good work. Cheers. -- Bailey(talk) 05:30, 27 October 2006 (UTC)

Thanks for the notes, I'll work on them. To the first point, do you mean "snagged" is informal? The thing is, the battle system is different in that game, and Pokémon are "snagged" from trainers, that being the actual word the game uses for, Snag Balls, Snag Machine etc. Would it be better to quickly desrcibe snagging, with a ref, or should I link to the relevant section in an article? Cheers, Highway Grammar Enforcer! 07:18, 27 October 2006 (UTC)
I've fixed the other points, the Super Nerd was William, it was just his classification as a a trainer. The eye bit was there before I got here, I guess I missed it. I've cleaned up the whole manga section, so it's just the top point to fix. Cheers, Highway Grammar Enforcer! 07:29, 27 October 2006 (UTC)
Ah, I didn't realize "snagged" was a game term. That makes more sense. Between describing in the article and linking to a description, I beleive either could work. If it were me I'd probably try and quickly define it in the article with a plain-english synonym, ie, "A Paras can be snagged, or captured, from..." That's just an example; obviously I haven't played Gale of Darkness, so substitute any term you think works. If the term requires a really lenghty explanation, a link might be better, but I'm guessing it's a pretty simple concept.

Looking good otherwise. Good job on the speedy fixes. -- Bailey(talk) 07:47, 27 October 2006 (UTC)

Cleaned up the other points, thanks for helping. Is there anything else, Highway Grammar Enforcer! 16:13, 27 October 2006 (UTC)
Passed now. Good job attending to those last few issues, and keep up the work. :-) -- Bailey(talk) 18:56, 27 October 2006 (UTC)
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