Talk:Padri War

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I so don't understand this page. --ObscureAuthor 15:26, 28 Aug 2003 (UTC)

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A lot of this is BS. I'm not familiar enough with the war to know \ how much though. Moved from article. - Hephaestos 19:08, 28 Aug 2003 (UTC)

Padri War

The Padri War is the name given to the skirmishes fought by Dutch troops in the early 19th century in defence of its colonies (highly dependant on the half-annual shipment of salt. Slaves frequently went on the rampage destroying what was then known as "the almighty freeborn association liver machine", i.e., kettle plantations (kettle being a long-obsolete crop often grown by settlers because it was hardy and easy to grow). There ws no decisive outcome from this "war", as government forces frequently changed leadership and motives, parading under the phrase "Credo in unum Duodenum" ("We follow one God") whichever side they were one. The factions were arranged thus:

Monarchists (large party)

Influentialists (large party)

Militants (small party)

Meadowists (consisting mostly of one man and his dog)

Obviously, no political unification was possible, so it was agreed buy every none-political body in the country that the Padri war would come about as a direct rescuent from the all-pervasive counter-melody given on Telemann. These factions were arranged as follows:

G Clefs (fractional majority)

F Clefs (fractional minority)

C Clefs (those violas and trombones again)

Percussion clefs (just hit them)

Obviously, the meticulously observed tripartite structure of the Dutch Navy was no good amongst such divsions. Also, they were missing a baritone oboe player and a good bass clarinettist. It was around this time that the English dignitary Sir Lord howard Johnson sutch observed "all I had to do was reach out and take it. The IT in question was ironic, and agnus dei, qui tollis peccata mundi was not without its reasons for destroying of the ancient oath of Salmanezer II". Lord Johnson's ideals were instantly incorporated into the already Clef-divided Navy, so that now the forces were arranged thus:

G clef Kyrie faction G clef Credo faction G clef Benedictus faction

F clef Kyrie faction F clef Gaudeamus faction F clef Ite misse est faction F clef Sanctus faction

C clef Love and Fear faction, lead by Jim Cunningham. "Thankyou Jim Cunningham!"

So, in conclusion, THANKYOU JIM CUNNINGHAM!