User:Ockenbock

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Hi. I'm Ockenbock and I love wikipedia. Thanks to all of you that contribute.

I eat, therefore I am.

[edit] Who Am I?

For months, I revealed nothing about myself. Who am I? Well, I was born in Atlanta, Georgia. I lived there for 15 years, and then I moved to Area 51. I've lived there for the better part of 15 years. I mean to move back to Dixie, but I can't afford to farther than Chattanooga, Tenn. Whenever I hear the song "Dixie", I burst into tears.

[edit] My Appearence

This was me when I was 20. I had a mustache, goatee, high cheekbones, large nose, broad forehead, and a resemblance to Pierre Gustave Toutant Beauregard.

This is me now. I lost both arms going quail hunting with Dick Cheney.

I was supposedely a very ugly baby. I matured into an uglier child, an even uglier teen, and finally into a very, very, very, very, very, very,very, very, very,very, very, very,very, very, very,very, very, very,very, very, very, very ugly adult.

[edit] A brief synopsis of my life, Part 1

Let see... I was born in Atlanta, early on one frosty morning. My father was a pastor, and my mother worked at Stone Mountain Park. I was forced to take French in school, and now I speak French. When I was 15, I had to move to Area 51 because my father got a job there. The pay was excellent. In my Freshman year of college, my parents died. They were trapped in a room with locked doors, not unlike the Mongolian door incident where Bush tried to open to locked doors.

[edit] My Favorite Foods

Paradise.

My favorite dish, on a plate

Having grown up in the South, I enjoy fried food. Fried chicken, fried pickles, corn fritters, what have you. In addition to those foods, I enjoy buckwheat cakes and Igen batter. (It makes me fat, or a liitle fatter.) I like to travel, and I thank God that KFC is international. I can't stand sushi, curry, escargot, frog legs, kimchi, pho, ceviche, haggis, and above all, the dreaded steamed broccoli.

[edit] A brief synopsis of my life, part 2

I got myself through school by using the family savings, until my senior year. During the summer after my junior year, I realized I had only half of what I needed. I decided to invest in the stock market, but I lost all my money in a scam. To earn money, I barrowed some money from friends, relatives, and banks to start a canned hunting resort for quail. My profits got me through my senior year, and its still going strong. I could add additional hunts, such as goose, bison, turkey, and African Buffalo. Disaster struck just a year after my graduation. Dick Cheney came to my hunting resort, and went on my African buffalo hunt. I offered to join him, and he allowed me. Big mistake. Long story short: goverment coverup, big reimbursement, amputation of both arms, and the growth of my hunting resort. I've been earning money to return to Atlanta.

[edit] French Armidillo Theory

I have been investigating my parents' death. Due to a phenomenon known only as "The French Armidillo Theory" I have determined that my parents may well be alive, and researching the chicken tuba in a top secret island.

[edit] The Chicken Tuba

There is some debate as to what a chicken tuba is. Some assert that it is a musical instrument that caused an international incident. Others claim that it is a hybrid chicken-tuba eaten by tuba eaters. Still others believe it triggered a disputed incident (the chicken tuba incident) where many were killed by the Mafia. I know what I I know what I think!!!

[edit] My Hunting Resort

My resort upon opening.

The hunting lodge.

[[Image:Jchase.jpg|thumb|300px|right|My hunting resort today. The American Guild of Cloning Extinct Animals (AGCEA) has been good to me. These hunters are enjoying "The Jurassic Experience."

I started the lodge as a summer project. Using 20000, I purchased a plot of land, fenced it, added a gift shop, restaurant and hunting lodge, and charged people a five dollar entry fee and 15 dollars per quail. At that point, the gift shop sold postcards, mugs, and hunting equipment, the restaurant served game, and the hunting lodge was very small.

Soon, my buisness flourished. I bought additional land and added more animals (see above.) The gift shop has a massive amount of gifts, the restaurant serves game, gourmet, and grapefruit, and the lodge is now comparable in size with the Denver capitol.

After my government reinbursement (see above), my buisnees soared. I built three hotels: L'hôtel de Louis Quatorze, The Hunter's Lodge, and El Roacho Motel. Three miles away I built the "Jurassic experience" offering dinosaurs in abundance, complete with dinosaur themed gift shop, hunting lodge, and restaurant. The entry fee is $1500 per person, and $10,000 per dino killed. I have plans for four additional hunts: Artic, Cryptids, Mars-themed, and (drumroll) The African Savannah!!!!! Sorry I haven't mentioned the name of my resort. It is: Hunt in a Can.

[edit] PETA Involvement

Canned hunts were always contoversial. Right from the start, PETA has sent me letters. I have recieved protests. Many refuse to stock my resort with animals, even for the highest prices I can offer. I was recently sued for cruelty to animals, but nothing came of it.

[edit] My response to the critism

I apologize deeply, profoundly. But I've gotta eat! Note: I will NOT launch counter-suits or defend myself in any way. My priority is to return to Atlanta. Then, in Dixie land, I'll take my stand.