Neasden F.C.
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Neasden F.C. are a spoof football team, the subject of a long-running joke in the British satirical magazine, Private Eye. They were invented by Barry Fantoni to satirize the clichés and hyperbole of football journalism and were once a regular item in the magazine, but now appear only at times of significant public interest in footballing matters.
Neasden's long-running series of defeats, in which they typically fail to score while conceding goals in double figures, have led to many crises for their manager, the "ashen-faced" Ron Knee aged 59, who has often been assaulted by the team's only supporters, the husband-and-wife Sid and Doris Bonkers. Perhaps their most famous player is the one-legged defender, and prolific scorer of own goals, Baldy Pevsner. The side are sometimes helped by goals scored by the referee Sid Himmler.
Many of the reports of their activities are written by E.I. Addio (a reference to football chanting), who is referred to "our man in the stand", "our man in the shower" or a similar description.
The club are based at the Neasden Bridge Stadium, in Neasden, London, and their slogan is "We're on the way to Wembley...You have to go through Neasden to get there". Neasden's arch-rivals in the North Circular Relegation League are Dollis Hill.
