Modern Men (Only Fools and Horses)
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| Only Fools and Horses episode | |
| "Modern Men" | |
| Series | Christmas Special |
|---|---|
| Writer | John Sullivan |
| Director | Gareth Gwenlan |
| Producer | Tony Dow |
| Duration | 60 minutes |
| Airdate | 27 December 1996 |
| Audience | 21.3 million |
Modern Men is an episode of the BBC sit-com, Only Fools and Horses. It was the second episode of the 1996 Christmas trilogy, and was first screened on 27 December 1996.
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[edit] Synopsis
Because of the good news that Cassandra and Rodney are expecting a baby, the Trotters go out for a night at the Nag's Head.
At the Nag's Head, Del Boy is able to convince Mike to accept a fiver for a trayful of drinks as well as sell him a "hairdryer" (actually an electric paint stripper) by doing the "I can make you turn your hands over without touching you" trick. Mickey Pearce then reminds Rodney that he needs to get a proper job before his and Cassandra's child is born (Rodney quit his last job in The Chance of a Lunchtime).
Later that night, while they're in bed, Del shows Raquel a new book he bought called "Modern Man", which Del thinks will turn him into a very polite gentleman when he meets Raquel's parents in the near future. Raquel then requests that Del give Rodney a proper job, because in seven months time, he'll be a father.
Meanwhile, while they're in bed, Rodney tells Cassandra that Del has to stop making on-the-spot decisions. But Del has decided to have a vasectomy just for the heck of it.
The next morning at Nelson Mandela House, Rodney bemoans to Del about how it's been a long life journey for them and they still aren't millionaires after all these years. Damien pops up and gives Rodney a quick scare with the same trick that his father used on Mike last night. Rodney tells Albert about a want ad in the paper advertising a highbrow company. He picks up the phone and dials the company, but doesn't realize that he's called Del's new mobile phone. Raquel answers it in a forced posh tone and puts Rodney on hold with the song "Old Shep". Del takes over the conversation with the false identity "Oliver Hardy" and talking in a strong Welsh accent. As Rodney introduces himself, Del asks is he's related to the Trotter brothers. Rodney, worried too much about his pride, foolishly says that he hasn't got a brother. Del is completely hurt by that remark, but still continues the conversation before entering the lounge, as Rodney lies to him by saying that he's talking to Cassandra. Del tells his younger brother to give both their love to her. Rodney quickly says "I love you!" and Del quickly hides in the kitchen and resumes the telephone conversation in his Oliver Hardy voice. Rodney explains that he coughed, and Del replies that he thought he heard Rodney say he loves him. Del explains what his company sells; anything it can get its hands on, and Rodney's job is to take the stuff down to the market and sell it from a suitcase. Del reenters the lounge and says in his own voice, "We're always on the lookout for devious little plonkers like you!" Rodney realizes that the job he wanted is already his, and that Del only placed that ad in the newspaper so that someone could help him while Rodney looks for a job. Del accuses Rodney of trying to get rid of him when Rodney said that he hadn't got a brother to Del. Completely understanding about his worried pride, Del promotes Rodney to Sales Director.
The Trotter brothers go to Sid's cafe, and hide from a Sikh medic named Dr. Singh, who's looking for Del because of the faulty paint (whose expiration date was June 1983) he sold him. Del tells Rodney that he's getting a vasectomy. Rodney doesn't think it's a good idea, but Del just wants to do it for absolutely no good reason at all.
Sometime later, Del is in a medical clinic, ready for his vasectomy, and Dr. Singh is going to operate on him. Before he can get to work, Dr. Singh plans to numb Del with a very big needle!
Del screams so loudly, he wakes up in a cold sweat back in his own bed with Raquel. Del then decides to not have the vasectomy after all, and goes back to sleep.
The next day, upon coming back from the market, Rodney taunts Del for backing out of the vasectomy. But Dr. Singh shows up and demands that Del get rid of the faulty paint he sold him ASAP. As the Sikh doctor leaves on a motorscooter, Del wisecracks about him not wearing a crash helmet because of his huge turban. This in turn gives Del an idea.
Later at 5:30pm, Rodney is shown wearing a horseriding helmet with Raquel's scarf on it, which Del calls a Trotter Crash Turban. Raquel believes that the product will never catch on, while Albert receives a phone call for Rodney from Cassandra's bank that Cassandra suffered a miscarriage.
The Trotter brothers quickly race to the hospital and ask the sister about which room Cassandra is in. As they head off, a drunken man is insulting the hospital staff and its patients.
As Del and Rodney arrive at Cassandra's room in theatre gowns, Del tells Rodney that he has to be comforting and understanding as well as talk about the future, not the past or present, because in Del's words; "[Rodney and Cassandra] have got so many good times to come." The Trotters enter, and Cassandra emotionally says that she's sorry. To Rodney's surprise, Del is the one doing the crying. Rodney tries his best to comfort his wife and tell her that what happened to Cassandra just happens. Del agrees and leaves the room sobbing. Cassandra then says that she lost the baby, but Rodney tells her that they'll get through this, because they're strong! Cassandra smiles and hugs her husband.
Back in the waiting room, the drunken man is still insulting the staff, as Del enters the room to dry his tears, only to be really insulted by the drunken man's trash-talking. So Del just shuts the drunken man up by hitting him square on the jaw! The impact from the blow causes the drunken man to become more nicer to other people. Del feels completely better from that and leaves the hospital happy.
[edit] Episode cast
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[edit] Errors
- The Trotter van's registration number is DHV 938 D, whereas in The Russians Are Coming and A Touch of Glass, the van's registration number was APL 911 H.
- When Del is in his bedroom with Raquel, the extremely tacky purple headboard hasn't got a large golden heart within its design, whereas in The Chance of a Lunchtime, the heart was incorporated within the design.
[edit] External links
| Preceded by: Heroes and Villains |
Only Fools and Horses 27 December 1996 |
Succeeded by: Time On Our Hands |
