Minor characters in Bloom County
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The following are minor characters from Berke Breathed's comic strip Bloom County. Though significant enough to have appeared multiple times in the strip, they were not crucial to the strip's overall development, and disappeared without much (if any) explanation long before Breathed segued into his next comic, Outland.
Though the strip's various compilations do not do them justice, the original cast of characters in Bloom County were Milo, Bess, and Major Bloom, along with a basset hound named "Rabies" whose thoughts could be read a la Snoopy; the first year of strips are mysteriously omitted from all compilations, although a selection did find publication in a 1986 anthology collection Bloom County Babylon: Five Years of Basic Naughtiness. Most of the strip's most memorable characters debuted later on, with Milo being the only key character to appear for the duration of the strip's run.
[edit] Alphonso Ali
Alphonso Ali was the first African American character in Bloom County. An admirer of legendary boxer Muhammad Ali, Alphonso was first introduced as Binkley's opponent in the boxing ring.
Later, Alphonso would make appearances as a friend of Binkley and Milo, as well as everyone else in the meadow. He disappeared in 1983, and was replaced by Oliver Wendell Jones later that year.
[edit] Banana Jr. 6000
The Banana Jr. 6000 was Oliver Wendell Jones' sentient personal computer, first introduced to the strip in December of 1984 as a Christmas present of Oliver's. It was a parody of the Macintosh computer, which had been released earlier that year.
The computer inexplicably came with legs, and could walk and talk just like a normal person, but could not stray further than the length of its electrical cord. It worshipped the television, and would frequently present its "god" with offerings of household appliances.
The computer was Oliver's hacking sidekick (only confiscated by the FBI twice) until mid-1985, when Oliver declared it obsolete. It was presumably sold secondhand shortly afterward.
[edit] Senator Bedfellow
Senator Bedfellow was the greedy and arguably evil senator for Bloom County. He frequently came under scrutiny from his constituents in the meadow; it somehow got to the point that Hodge-Podge would honk Bedfellow's nose every time that the man spoke. The local press also made a habit of going after the Senator (mostly in the form of aggressive innuendos by Milo Bloom).
Bedfellow was involved in a number of scandals, the final being the illicit trade of illegal Bill the Cat tote bags in 1983. He was convicted and sent to prison, and was never referenced again in the strip. The last panel he appears in shows him behind bars, being approached by burly thugs exclaiming "Well hello Mr. Bring-Back-The-Death-Penalty!"
However, Senator Bedfellow eventually reappeared 22 years later as a recurring character in Opus, with no mention of his incarceration.
[edit] Tom Binkley
Tom Binkley was Binkley's father, who frequently suffered the misfortune of being awakened in the early morning hours to hear Binkley repeat dubious celebrity rumors. Tom desperately wants Binkley to be tough and an athlete because he perceives these things as representing good fathering. Tom gives Binkley the nickname "mad dog" and takes him on ill-fated hunting trips. When working as a shopping mall Santa Claus, he told Binkley that he wouldn't get back together with Binkley's mother because she was now living in Oakland with a Hell's Angel.
[edit] Blondie
Blondie was Binkley's African American girlfriend. Originally from Los Angeles, Blondie immediately found herself to be Binkley's crush. She went on a date with Binkley to see Pink Floyd The Wall, much to Binkley's father's dismay.
She appeared twice more in the strip, but eventually faded away without further mention.
[edit] Major Bloom
A key character in the early years of the strip, Major Bloom was Milo's jingoistic, right-wing grandfather as well as his custodial guardian. He frequently had delusions about fighting Nazis and Communists, and tried to lead his grandson "the right way." In his spare time, he was head coach of Bloom County's pee-wee football team, whose players included Milo and Michael Binkley.
Like most of the strip's original cast of characters, Bloom faded from sight around 1983, though he did appear in the short story "The Great LaRouche Toad-Frog Massacre" in the 1986 book Bloom County Babylon.
[edit] Mrs. Dallas
Mrs. Dallas would occasionally show up for unexpected visits with her son Steve. She was horrified at his slovenly, womanizing ways, and always tried to convince him to get married and go to church. She appeared as a heavy-set aproned fifties-style housewife, except that she also wore Steve's signature black aviator glasses. Mrs. Dallas apparently thought Steve's father had died, and had accordingly felt free to remarry five times. Steve eventually revealed that his father had actually been sitting in the living room, reading the paper, the entire time. She did not care for Opus, who she originally thought to be a large rodent. (When she proclaimed this fact in front of him, screaming "AND NOW YOU'RE ASSOCIATING WITH LARGE RODENTS?!", Opus panicked and screamed "WHERE?!")
[edit] Ash Dashley
Southerner Ash Dashley was the arrogant, opportunistic owner and station manager of Bloom County TV; he was prone to butting heads with the FCC and self-imposed television censors such as Otis Oracle. After purchasing the station, he made Limekiller his right-hand man with mixed results. He was a recurring character throughout the year 1981, then disappeared.
Ash may have been loosely based on Ted Turner.[citation needed]
[edit] Armand Dipthong
Armand Dipthong was the highly-stressed Chief Editor of the Bloom Picayune. A common source of his anxiety was the pressure to sacrifice his journalistic integrity for sleazy tabloid-like stories. He also struggled to write a "truly frank article on the public-health threat of AIDS", at the risk of offending prudish subscribers.
[edit] Leona Granola
Leona Granola is the mother of Lola Granola, and was a recurring character during Lola's engagement to Opus. She strongly disapproved of Opus, and repeatedly tried to convince her daughter to dump him. After Opus and Lola's wedding storyline, she wasn't seen in the strip any more.
[edit] The Giant Purple Snorklewacker
The Giant Purple Snorklewacker was an odd looking monster who lived in Binkley's closet of anxieties. At night he would make Binkley's nightmares, such as Jesse Helms or economists, come alive. We would occasionally get glimpses into the anxiety closets of other characters: Oliver would see his old slide rule, Tom Binkley would see his own son or a Jehovah's Witness pit bull, and Steve Dallas would see feminists or his own mother. Binkley's anxieties were once confused with Ronald Reagan's, causing Yuri Andropov and Fidel Castro to show up in his closet.
[edit] Frank Jones
Frank Jones is the father (and often unwitting test subject of) Oliver Wendell Jones. He admitted to voting for Alexander Haig in the 1988 Republican primary. He lost faith in life when his illegal satellite dish stopped working, and Oliver was questioned by FBI agents after attempting to descramble the signal.
He has fallen subject to Oliver's experiments several timse: his son's "molecular transfer device" once put his Jaguar XJ6 into orbit around Pluto. Another time, he accidentally drank some dandelion hallucinogenics that Oliver had made and thought that people were coming out of his stomach. (When he scolded Oliver for this, he commented that he wished he had a "ditzy-headed daughter who wouldn't know a test tube if it walked up and bit her". Instantly afterwards, he thinks that Oliver looks like a giant xeroxed head of Brooke Shields.) He was referred to as "Howard" in a storyline in which he is erased from existence when Oliver deleted his record from the IRS. Also, in a storyline where Tom Binkley tries to give up smoking, their first names are switched (i.e. "Frank Binkley" and "Tom Jones").
[edit] Dr. Legrunt
Dr. Legrunt was Steve Dallas's doctor after Dallas was hospitalized following an attack by Sean Penn. In response to a query about what restrictions a person with a broken back was under, he told Steve that "Foolin' around is out." Berke Breathed has said that Dr. Legrunt was based on one of his own doctors named Dr. Legant.
[edit] Charles Limekiller
Charles Limekiller was a bum of apparent Australian origin who sought room and board at the Bloom Boarding House. When he was first introduced, it was revealed that Limekiller had been estranged from his wife, Eleanor, and his activist daughter, Debra Jo.
Initially, Major Bloom disapproved of having Limekiller around, but Bess Bloom had been so enchanted by Limekiller's usage of the French language that the Major had no choice but to let Limekiller stay (even though what Limekiller actually said to her in French was "Your earlobes resemble fish heads").
Limekiller later reappeared as the Meadow Party's first presidential nominee in 1983. However, his nomination was short-lived; after taking an impolitic jab at his campaign committee (a commentary on then-Secretary of the Interior James G. Watt), he was dropped from the Meadow ticket. He disappeared shortly thereafter.
A very short time after Limekiller's disappearance, a little old lady named Lola Limekiller appeared for a while in the strip. Whether or not she was related in some way to the original Limekiller is currently unknown.
[edit] Quiche Lorraine
Quiche Lorraine was Bobbi Harlow's contemptuous cousin and Steve Dallas' eventual lover.
At first, Steve only stayed with Quiche as a way to eventually get back together with Bobbi, but the relationship somehow lasted after Bobbi left the strip in 1983.
Quiche later broke up with Steve twice: once when Steve's back had been broken by Sean Penn, and once when Steve had returned from having his brain scrambled by aliens. She did not reappear after the latter.
[edit] Alf Mushpie
Alf Mushpie first appeared as a blind date fluke with Opus. Unfortunately for Opus, Alf proved to be a rather avid neo-feminist with a hatred for all men.
Alf and Opus had some disastrous dates before Opus and Cutter John disappeared over the ocean (and were subsequently presumed dead) in a flying wheelchair accident. Alf was left with the book Learn How to be a Model...or Just Look Like One!, as spelled out in Opus' will.
Later it was revealed that Alf had been seen in Tehran in 1985 lighting a pile of bras and veils, and was forcibly conscripted by the Iranians to be a "minesweeper" on the Iraqi front by 1988.
[edit] Otis Oracle
Otis Oracle was the head of the Bloom County chapter of the Moral Majority. He was depicted as a short balding man who held a strong disdain for those who did not listen to him.
Otis was depicted as a right-wing extremist. He constantly decried the actions of the world as sinful, complained about the left-wing, and organized book-burning parties. However, he proved to be at least a little hypocritical by touching ladies' knees, then blaming the ladies for tempting "the inner demons of sin in men."
He frequently appeared in the early days of Bloom County, but faded away around 1982.
[edit] Editor Overbeek
Editor Overbeek was the hard-drinking editor of the Bloom Beacon, the newspaper that employed Milo. All of his editorials were based on his mantra "it's Reagan's fault." Editor Overbeek's most common response to one of Milo's requests to go to press with an outrageous story he had just written was "RUN THAT BABY!!"
[edit] Yaz Pistachio
Yaz Pistachio was introduced in June of 1983 as Bobbi Harlow's sixteen-year-old niece in need of a date for the junior prom. Bobbi's ex-boyfriend, Steve Dallas, was recruited to accompany Yaz. The prom was a horrible failure, as Steve got drunk early on, the school quarterback insulted Yaz, and Steve ended up puking during their spotlight dance, although she and Opus did enjoy a dance together (the latter being supported by Binkley and Milo so that he could reach her).
After that, Yaz appeared most often in early Meadow Party storylines, as well as in Binkley's Return of the Jedi dream sequence.
When Yaz challenged Opus to think of a stupider name than Yaz Pistachio, he responded 'Berkeley Breathed.'
Although she had a few storylines of her own in the strip (many of which were left out of subsequent Bloom County collections), Yaz never really caught on as a popular character. After her last appearance in the strip in December of 1983, she was promptly forgotten in the Bloom County universe.
Yaz was usually seen wearing a flat cap.
[edit] L.H. Puttgrass
L.H. Puttgrass was a loud man who embraced his right to have his opinions heard, which no matter the situation included a want for more skin on HBO.
[edit] "Rockin' Charmin' Harmin"
"Rockin' Charmin' Harmin" was a popular disc jockey for Bloom County's classic rock radio station, KRNA. Twice he embarassed Binkley over the air by exposing Binkley's need for bedwetting self-help literature.
Though his voice was heard over the radio in the strip, he was never seen in person, and remained an unseen character.
The character's name came from "Charmin'" Jeff Harmon, a popular afternoon DJ at KRNA-FM. KRNA was an actual rock station located in Iowa City, Iowa, where Berke Breathed lived while writing the strip. The station was later bought out by Cumulus Media and moved to Cedar Rapids in 1999.
[edit] Rosebud the Basselope
Rosebud the Basselope was the world's last basselope (a cross between a basset hound and an antelope). The rest of the basselopes died of clogged arteries, as they liked lots of butter on their Pop-Tarts. After it was revealed that Rosebud was a female, it was discovered that Rosebud had had an affair with Hodge-Podge the jackrabbit, and was pregnant. Rosebud gave birth to 64 jackabasselopes who matured and left after a week. Rosebud made her first appearance while Milo and Opus were hunting for a beast that "easily devours fifty rhinos a day". Basselopes supposedly live extremely long due to "taking cold showers". Rosebud was part of two gag government weapon programs against the Soviet Union. One involved Rosebud projecting a six megaton atomic bomb from between her antlers. The second had Rosebud disguised as an old Russian woman and distributing American commercials, Dove bars, Mickey Mouse clothing, and cheeseburgers.
Rosebud was likely based on Breathed's own pet basset hound.
[edit] Bart Savagewood
Bart Savagewood was Lola Granola's ex-boyfriend, who tests fighter jets for the Navy, catches sharks for fun, and bench presses 290 lbs. He made Opus – who nicknamed him "The Human Chin" – feel inadequate.
[edit] W. A. Thornhump III
W. A. Thornhump III was introduced as the fictional CEO of Bloom County in 1986. Thornhump was Breathed's attempt at satirizing the hypocrisy of money-grubbing corporate America, as well as the unreasonable demands of the cartoon syndicate bosses. Typical examples of this hypocrisy were his replacing characters with scab workers when they decided to go on strike and a Sunday strip that showed the results of drug tests of employees of the cartoons and even Berke Breathed himself, who Thornhump thinks should be fired because the drug test revealed that he ate "one marijuana brownie six years ago." Thornhump's test, of course, reveals that he is a serious alcoholic, and this point is driven home when Opus appears with his six-martini lunch, and Bill's reveals the consumption of "139 ounces of Brazilian cocaine" although the latter is not fired because he is "not expendable".
Thornhump was always prepared to pander to whomever he felt need to pander to. He also did whatever he could to make a quick buck or rating point, even going so low as to schedule a field trip to the Acme Stewardess Academy during a "Nudeness Week" in the strip.
Thornhump was not present when Bloom County was "sold" to Donald Trump in Bill the Cat's body, although he was later parodied in an editorial cartoon by Bill Watterson that attacked Breathed's penchant for allowing merchandising rights for his creations.
[edit] Tess Turbo
Tess Turbo was a rock star who made her first appearance drunk as a performer at the National Radical Meadow Party's political convention.
Then, she appeared at the Meadow Party's 1984 benefit concert, (a satirical take on Steve Wozniak's Us Festival) with Opus playing air guitar behind her. One of the comic strips from this time revealed her inner dialogue in which she characterized herself as a "shy, sensitive, withdrawn young woman who likes Smurf dolls, sad rainy days, and silly, romantic poetry."
She appeared later on when Steve Dallas won a role in her music video. Steve sued her after all his chest hair was permanently burned off during the making of the video; during the trial, she called Steve a "total jerkface". Her songs include "Scuzzbucket From Nantucket".
Tess, along with her band "The Blackheads", were a parody of Joan Jett and the Blackhearts.
[edit] "Weird" Harold
"Weird" Harold was a classmate of Yaz Pistachio's, presented as a socially awkward geek. He was the only boy who paid Yaz any attention, much to her horror and disgust.
He was present at Yaz's prom, and later became her accidental target in a game of spin the bottle.
He only appeared in storylines pertaining to Yaz, meaning that he was not seen again after 1983.
