Mile Deep and a Foot Wide
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| Weeds episode | |
| "Mile Deep and a Foot Wide" | |
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| Episode no. | 20 |
|---|---|
| Prod. code | 210 |
| Orig. airdate | October 16, 2006 (Showtime) |
| Writer(s) | Rolin Jones |
| Director | Craig Zisk |
| Guest star(s) | See Below |
| Theme song performer | Regina Spektor |
| Season 2 2006-08-14 – 2006-10-30 |
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| List of all Weeds episodes... | |
"Mile Deep and a Foot Wide" is the 20th episode of the Showtime series Weeds. It is the 10th episode of the second season and aired on October 16, 2006.
[edit] Plot
In a city Park, Nancy meets with Heylia and Vaneeta. Nancy is instructed to sit down on the bench behind Heylia and Vaneeta because, as Heylia explains, she wouldn't want the men parked on the street to see Nancy speaking with them. Heylia is being watched following the uneventful raid of her house. She mocks Nancy for not being in the same situation and cites Nancy's marriage to Peter, and then goes on to mention the arrest of the Armenians. Nancy responds that she "had no choice," and she notes that she warned Heylia of the raid in advance. Heylia laughs at her, and begins to discuss her finances. Without selling marijuana, Heylia has no income. Nancy offers her help but Heylia explains that she feels Nancy is responsible for taking away her livelihood, and then tells her that help will not compensate for what Nancy did. Vaneeta instructs Nancy to speak with Peter, and "do whatever it takes." Heylia and Vaneeta then begin to infer that Nancy will "disappear" if she does not make right the situation. "Those poor little boys, losing both their parents, ain't that something?" Heylia teases. Nancy asks them to stop. Heylia responds by saying she will "stop everything." She knows where Nancy grows, and she knows where Nancy lives. Nancy and Conrad are on the clock to make everything right with Heylia.
At the DEA office, Peter speaks with his boss Captain Till. The captain explains that he couldn't stop laughing while reading Peter's report about the raid at Heylia's house. He mocks Peter by asking where his next "big bust" will be: "Our Lady of the Crack Pipe or Temple Beth-Meth?" Peter explains that his surveillance is continuing, and that he still has wiretaps in place. Peter asks for leniency, and explains that Heylia is "an open door to U-turn. The captain instructs Peter to "wrap it up," and then excuses him from his office.
Doug and Celia sneak off together to a local motel. Lying in bed, Celia informs Doug that her husband, Dean had forgotten about their 17 year anniversary. She asks Doug how long he has been married. Doug doesn't know exactly, and explains that he's not very good with numbers, although he is an accountant. Celia exclaims that she is "seized with guilt" and asks Doug if he too is seized. Afterwards, Celia and Doug discuss the shame of their affair, and how they expect their families to react if it was ever to become more than an affair. They both agree that it would destroy their families and children. They begin to have loud, invigorating sex again.
Back at the grow house, Nancy discusses the Heylia situation with Conrad. She explains that Peter wants Heylia imprisoned, and Nancy out of business. Yet Heylia wants Peter to disappear. She then explains that her secret occupation has affected her children as well; Silas wants to skip college to join the business, and Nancy fears that Shane may know what she does. Conrad explains that Nancy needs to relax, and shows her how to massage a pressure point in her hand to relax. He then explains that she has been reacting to everything, rather than planning a course of action. He tells her that she has dug herself into a hole "a mile deep, and a foot wide" for which the episode is titled. He then introduces his plan: Nancy tells Peter she loves him, and that she is going to quit the business after the upcoming harvest. Conrad can take the grow house equipment and disappear. By following his plan, issues between Peter and Nancy will be resolved, Nancy will have her money, and everything will work out. Conrad then asks Nancy if she loves "Agent Wonderbread" (Peter). Nancy replies that she doesn't know.
Later, Nancy meets with Peter and explains that she wishes to retire because "the hours suck, there's no health insurance, and it's a bad job for a danger junkie." Peter can't believe it, and is skeptical. To relieve his skepticism, Nancy asks Peter to eat dinner with her family. Peter is reluctant but Nancy assures him that everything will be fine. Peter considers her proposal, and repeats "Heylia walks, and Conrad leaves." Nancy assures him that they can "make a go of it," and instructs him to accept her dinner invitation and to bring a toothbrush. Later that evening, Nancy explains to Silas, Shane, and Andy, that Peter is her boyfriend, and that he makes her happy. Andy questions Nancy over Peter's occupation. Nancy assures Andy that Peter works for their safety. Nancy then explains that Peter has been invited to their next dinner, and she expects everything to go over smoothly. Shane asks if he may invite Gretchen to the dinner to which Nancy agrees. She explains that she will need Andy to cook Spanish Paella. Then the doorbell rings. Nancy answers the door to meet a young woman named Kat. Kat seems to know Nancy, and comes across as being a little insane. Kat invites herself into the Botwin home in search of Andy. Shane asks Kat if she is "that crazy chick from Alaska" who tried to kill Andy. Kat answers "yes." Andy stops choking as Kat explains she has been driving for 47 hours, and has had nothing to eat or drink but sockeye salmon and Red Bull the entire time. Andy asks how she found him. She replies that she read about his toe accident online. She then expresses a desire to rekindle their relationship.
That night, Dean and Celia lay in bed together reading separate books. Dean asks how her day was. Celia replies that it was fine. Dean discusses recent events in Isabelle's modeling career, and then discusses his day. He mentions that he stopped by Doug's office in an attempt to "patch things up," but he wasn't in. Celia then suggests to Dean that they talk. Before they talk, Dean pulls a little black box from his bedside drawer, and gives it to Celia. Celia opens it to find a silver or white gold bracelet. Dean happily asks if she thought he had forgotten their anniversary. She admits that she had, and thanks him for the gift before rolling over on her side to sleep. She turns out the light, and after a few seconds, Dean asks "anything for me?"
At an old fashioned diner, Kat introduces Andy to the book she is writing. She explains that it is about the time she and Andy's time in Alaska and tells him that he may not like all of it, and that when her Eskimo boyfriend, Abumchuck, read the transcript he decided to kill Andy. However, she instructs Andy not to worry because she ditched him in Bakersfield, California. Upon hearing this, Andy notices a big Eskimo man standing in the diner staring at them, Kat tells him Abumchuck is much bigger. She then informs Andy that she will need him to sign a paper releasing all rights to the story, so that it may be published. Kat then explains that Abumchuck is a premature ejaculator, and that she wants to have sex with Andy in the back of her van. Andy eventually agrees, and the van begins to shake back and forth in the handicapped parking space in front of the Diner.
Celia reflects on when she "stopped loving Dean," and explains that the only reason they remain together is the children and that she plans to divorce Dean when Isabelle graduates. They turn on the TV which is set to a Spanish language station. During a commercial break, the Huskeroo's commercial starring Isabelle plays in Spanish. Celia becomes upset and to change the topic, Celia tells Doug that she has video tapes they can watch.
Back at the Botwin house, Nancy assures Gretchen's parents over the phone that she will have Gretchen home by 9:00 PM. Dinner is late because Andy failed to do the cooking and is making it himself. Silas informs Peter and Nancy to call him when the food is ready.
Gretchen questions Shane about Peter. Shane explains that Peter is his mother's boyfriend. Gretchen explains that her mother too has a boyfriend, and that her parents are separated. Her dad has an apartment, and she sees him on weekends. Shane asks Gretchen how that is. Gretchen replies that she goes to the movies and plays miniature golf with her father, and that he constantly apologizes to her during their time together.
The dinner is a disaster. Andy notes that "the trick to paella" is that the cook has to watch it closely otherwise it "turns into a sticky lump of crap." Nancy scolds Andy for not upholding his commitment to cook it, and congratulates Peter on his first attempt to cook paella. Peter tries to apologize for interrupting "Judah-Fest", the celebration of Nancy's dead husband's birthday. Silas rudely scolds Peter. Nancy scolds Silas, and asks him again to remove his elbows from the table. Peter continues with his apology, and informs Silas and Shane that he respects the memory of Judah. Silas rudely states that he "[has] heard the speech 'I'm not here to replace him, I'm just here to sleep with your mom.'" Peter reacts by slamming Silas' left elbow on the table. Everybody at the table is surprised. Peter asks Silas to "show some respect" for Nancy, and remove his elbows when he is asked. Silas get upset both at Peter's actions and Nancy's silent acceptance. After an argument about who can drive Gretchen home, Silas agrees to and the dinner party splits up.
Back at their motel room, Doug and Celia watch the videos recorded from the anti-drug cameras. Celia explains that the Police don't have the time or resources to watch the tapes, and that she does it. They then fast forward to a man riding a Segway naked. Doug recognizes the man and asks Celia about it. Celia responds that the man does this every night at 10:00 PM. She is amazed nobody has complained yet. Celia mentions that "some low-life" has already stolen 2 cameras, the "Drug Free Zone" signs, and the Sasquatch costume.
Outside the Botwin home, Andy and Kat finalize their deal over Kat's book. Kat is amazed that Andy doesn't wish to read the transcript. Andy then tells Kat that he expects her to leave now that she has his signature. Kat doesn't want to leave, and explains that the book is being published as fiction. She only came to "save" Andy, not to acquire a release signature.
While Peter is in the bathroom, Nancy lights a series of candles, and tucks away all of her pictures of Judah. Waiting for Peter to come out, she sits at the foot of the bed, and massages the pressure point in her hand the way Conrad taught her to. Peter comes out and asks if Nancy is "OK." The two begin to kiss, but are interrupted when Nancy asks Peter why he "[did] that thing to Silas' elbow." In the next scene, Peter leaves Nancy's house. Nancy expresses that she wants to love him, but that it would not be appropriate that night due in part to the events over dinner. Peter discusses his opinion that the decision was rushed. Nancy assures him that it will work out. They kiss, and then Peter leaves.
Blowing out candles and replacing her pictures, Nancy calls Conrad. Conrad is at the grow house. Nancy explains that Conrad's plan didn't work out, and that they still have problems. Conrad asks what happened. Nancy explains that Peter walked out her door five minutes before, and that she never wants him to return. Conrad asks what she did to him. Nancy explains that she forgot herself.
Parked along the curb, Peter sits in his truck listening into their conversation. Nancy tells Conrad that Peter is not her husband, and that she will never love him. Conrad explains that Nancy needs to "play" Peter for a little while longer, and assures her that everything will be fine. The two refer to Peter as "Agent Wonder Bread."
[edit] Trivia
- The 2 agents watching Heylia drive a black Chevrolet Impala. Their names are Mike and Robby.
- Heylia's full name is "Heylia Turner James"
- Kat's book is titled ""Permafuck": A Journal of Spirit Rape by Kat"
- The last time Andy and Kat had sex was on April 28, 2005 at 5:26PM in the women's bathroom of the Deer Mountain Tribal Hatchery located in Ketchikan, Alaska.
- Paella is a Spanish rice and seafood dish
- Regina Spektor doesn't just perform "Little Boxes" in the opening credits, she can also be heard in the episode's soundtrack. Parts of the song "The Ghost of Corporate Future" (from "Soviet Kitsch (album)") appear throughout the episode. The song “Holland” by Sufjan Stevens is also included in this episode.
[edit] Guest stars
- Allie Grant as Isabelle Hodes
- Indigo as Vaneeta
- Eden Sher as Gretchen
- Jack Stehlin as Captain Till
- Andy Milder as Dean Hodes
- Special guest star Zooey Deschanel as Kat
- Special guest star Martin Donovan as Peter
