Marjorie Dawes
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Marjorie Dawes (Born 1960, Guildford [According to the stage show programme guide]) is a fictional character played by Matt Lucas and best known from the cult BBC TV and Radio Show Little Britain but originating as George Dawes's mother in the comedy game show Shooting Stars. Her catchphrases include "Nooooooooooo" (as in "new"), "Ska-rooo Yeeewwww" (as in "Screw You"), and "Dust... anybody? No? Dust... anybody? No?" Another common catchphrase used by the public is "YOUUUUU ARE SUMMIN' ELSE" as in "you are something else". She also calls the starts an answer to a question by addressing the Fat Fighter as "My sweetness", "My Love", "Pet" or something else non-derogatory, a stark contrast to what she usually says. She is also obsessed with cake often adopting a deep male voice for saying "I like Cake!", even going so far as to adopt a German accent saying "I VANT ZE CAKE!". She once yelled out at Pat: "WHOA, MOMMA SHE FAT BECAUSE SHE LOOOVE THE CAKE!" , after she just says the word 'cake'. Her most tortured group members are probably Pat, for her weight, and Meera, for her almost non-existent accent.
Her name originates from a Traditional children's playtime song, See Saw Margery Daw.
According to the stage show programme guide, Marjorie was married until 1997 to Melvyn Dawes, with whom she had two fat twin boys, Pinky and Perky.
Marjorie runs a branch of the fictional diet group Fat Fighters. It includes Paul, Pat, Tanya, Jenny, Sue, Dave (whom Marjorie mistakenly calls Johansen) and Meera. The latter is a British-Indian whom Marjorie calls either Mary or Moira or My Lovely Asian Lady or Friend. A racist, Marjorie dismisses her by claiming to not be able to understand her accent and having Meera repeat everything she says, even though she is perfectly understandable. Another Fat Fighter will often step in and tell Marjorie what she's saying, due to frustration. An example of this is when Meera is asked to suggest a name for Pat and Paul's baby. Meera repeats her suggestion of 'John' with Marjorie repeating "Wassat, my love?" until Paul snaps at Marjorie that she is saying 'John'.
One diet used by Fat Fighters is the "Half-the-Calories" diet. This involves cutting food in half. It therefore has half the calories, and because it's half the calories, you can have twice as much. Marjorie is also a great believer in diets which involve eating dust (because it has no fat in it, so you can have as much dust as you like). In the Little Britain Script Book for Series 2, there is a Diet Sheet that all includes meals involving dust, like Dustburger, Full English Dust, Pain au Dust (it has a message at the bottom that says "It's not easy, but good luck and remember - you are fat, loathsome scum."). Unfortunately, the diets don't seem to work for anyone, least of all Marjorie, although she does claim to be at her target weight, despite being over 95 kg. She often bullies the members of the club. Marjorie also appears to have a special enemy in her sister, Barbara (David Walliams), whom she insists her mother cuts out of her will. Marjorie also seems to spell "chocolate" wrong in 3 episodes, in episode 1 of series 1 she spells it "choclit", in episode 1 of series 3 she spells it "chucklet", and in episode 6 of series 3 she spells it "Choglud".
She is also immensely hypocritical, often doing exactly what she tells the fat fighters not to do. Whenever a person asks her not to do something, she will immediately berate the rest of the group for doing it. During sketches, she will occasionally walk off stage and eat large amounts (although she can still be heard and, in one case, was visible [as a shadow] behind a screen).
Marjorie is called "a total cow" by celebrity Vanessa Feltz (Series 2). Marjorie spits on her soon after.
Marjorie originally appeared in the BBC Two comedy panel game Shooting Stars in the late 1990s as the mother of baby percussionist and score-keeper, George Dawes. She was suspended at the end of the first series of Little Britain, but is again seen in charge of Fat Fighters at the start of the second, and appears again in the third.
Marjorie has appeared in every single Little Britain episode to date (including the pilot). She did not, however, appear in the Comic Relief special.
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[edit] The final episode
In the final episode of series three, broadcast on Christmas Eve, 2005, it would appear Marjorie's story has come to a close. Tired of Marjorie's constant insults and mocking, the Fat Fighters demand an apology when she again makes fun of member Pat's weight. However, when she finally manages to force out a "sorry", only to follow it up seconds later with, "that you're so fat!", the Fat Fighters decide they have had enough and leave, reassuring Marjorie they won't be returning. This would suggest that the legacy of Marjorie Dawes and the Fat Fighters is at an end. Her last line in the series is: "I need some nooooo [new] members".
[edit] Fat Fighters
[edit] Meera
Played by: Charu Bala Chokshi
Meera, also called "Moira" or "Mary", is a British Indian and probably Marjorie's main victim. Although Meera speaks perfect English, Marjorie will force her to repeat whatever she said several times, and occasionally, after dismissing her comment, will use Meera's comment as her own. In one sketch, while Marjorie lists unhealthy foods suggested by the group, she interprets Meera's suggestion of "fish and chips" to be some kind of curry. In another, Meera won the lottery, and Marjorie was uncommonly nice to Meera in an attempt to receive some money - at one point, even saying "Money, money, money, give it to me".
[edit] Paul
Played by: Paul Putner
Paul is one of Marjorie's victims of insults (in the first series, Marjorie only seemed to pick on him and Meera). When he tells her he had Ryvita for breakfast, she retorts "what did you have on it, lard?". He and Marjorie once spent a drunken night together. Paul is now married to, and expecting a child with, fellow Fat Fighter Pat.
[edit] Pat
Played by: Joann Condon
Pat, or as she is called by Marjorie "Fatty Patty Boom-Boom", became a victim of Marjorie majorly in the second series. Marjorie, after forcing Pat to try two eclairs to try and guess which one was low-fat, promptly shoved the high-fat eclairs into Pat's mouth, and then made her spit them out, and told her she "had let everybody down". Marjorie then tells her she has some non-existent cream in her hair - so Marjorie cuts a large chunk of hair off. Pat is married to, and expecting a child with, fellow Fat Fighter Paul.
[edit] Tania
Tania is another member of Fat Fighters. Her husband left her, to which Marjorie remarks "Yeah, he would've done". Marjorie describes her as "fat and old", and later remarks "oh, she stinks an' all". When Tania makes banofee pie, Marjorie scolds her, saying "you are playing Russian Roulade with these fatties lives. If one of these fatties has one bite of this, they could drop down dead. Shame on you Tania, boo hiss boo!", and then places the pie in her handbag. On the region four DVD of the Third Series, the subtitles mistake Tania's name for the words "Tell 'em yeah".
[edit] Other Fat Fighters/Fat Fighters-related characters
Other Fat Fighters include:
- Dave - whose major appearance is in series one, episode one, when he says chocolate as a craving. As this has already been said, he changes it to chocolate biscuits. Marjorie mistakenly calls him "Johansen" every time she sees him, perhaps a reference to fellow British comedy show Only Fools and Horses, in which Rodney is always mistakenly addressed as "Dave" by Trigger.
- Jenny (Radio series only. Constantly named Julie by mistake.
- Vanessa Feltz - spokesperson for the organization.
- Mrs. Harrison - senior Fat Fighters employee who inspects Marjorie after complaint(s). She enforces the fact that Marjorie must weigh herself - and then dismisses her, due to the fact she is too large.
- Derek Martin - the EastEnders actor once joined Fat Fighters to 'lose a couple of pounds' and left after Marjorie's over persuasiveness to make him spill the beans on what happens to various characters from EastEnders "in the end".
- Marjorie's mother - Was once in hospital, and Marjorie kept trying to persuade her to go into a home.
- Barbara - Marjorie's sister. Although she appears to be quite thin, Marjorie tries to make out to the other Fat Fighters members that she is fat. Marjorie claims that Barbara is hated by her mother (and the other way around when Marjorie visits her mum in hospital.) Barbara appears in one sketch in Series 1.
- Cliff Roberts - Fat Fighters Slimmer of the Year. Even though Cliff is the Slimmer of the Year, he is still very overweight. When asked by Marjorie if the Fat Fighters range helped, he replied "No they're a waste of-" before Marjorie cut him short. At the end, Marjorie plays with Cliff's breast and said "Ooh, they're like tits aren't they!". Cliff appears in one sketch in Series 1.
- Christopher Halliday - A 13 year-old boy who wants to lose weight. After telling Marjorie that kids call him "fatty" in school, she goes on to find other names she thinks he might (or should) be called, like "Fatty Fatty Boom Boom", "Pigs in Space", "Fat Greedy Boy" and "Cracker". At one point, even she refers to him as "Fatty Halliday". After calling Marjorie fat, she threatens to kill his mother if he pulls a stunt like that again. Christopher appears in the pilot episode.
