User:Manomarkovic
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[edit] Mano Markovic
Brief Summary: Originally born in Slovakia, Mano Markovic fled to Germany in order to escape the liberation of Slovakia, as well as paying his income taxes. Marion 'Mano' Markovic is the founder of 'Die Deutsch Vagin Klub' meaning 'The German Wagon Club'. Being the first of the original members of this organisation he was dubbed Vagin Alpha which was later abbreviated to Vagina. He hopes that his two children, (many believe that another one lives in the basement but this is yet to be proven), can one day become members of the Vagin Klub too. At the club inauguration they held a raffle with the prize being a brand new silver Range Rover. This prize was won by Mano himself and he has kept it running well to this day, however it is currently green because he had to change the colour and plates after the 1984 massacre on the suburb of Mont Albert when he set off several explosives on Bundoran Parade when he heard of an extremely wealthy man of jewish faith named Neville living in that street.
Brief Olympic Career
Slovakia's only entrant in the 1976 Olympics, Mano entered the javelin. But when one of his wayward javelins thrown in warm-ups pierced through the heart of a French spectator, Mano knew his dream was over. He thus developed a contempt for not just the French, but all races that are minorities; excluding Slovakia and the Czech Republic. Dubbed 'the amazing racist' he also holds very anti-semitic views. -
Another 15 minutes of fame
On January 28th 2005, 'Mad Mano' found himself in the news again for being, rather appropriately, drunk and resourceful. This is a news article related to Mano's 'great escape':
Man Peed Way Out of Avalanche
A Slovak man trapped in his car under an avalanche freed himself by drinking 60 bottles of beer and urinating on the snow to melt it.
Rescue teams found Richard Kral (an alias Mano adopted while avoiding Slovakian authorities) drunk and staggering along a mountain path four days after his Audi car (possibly stolen) was buried in the Slovak Tatra mountains.
He told them that after the avalanche, he had opened his car window and tried to dig his way out.
But as he dug with his hands, he realised the snow would fill his car before he managed to break through.
He had 60 half-litre bottles of beer in his car as he was going on holiday, and after cracking one open to think about the problem he realised he could urinate on the snow to melt it, local media reported.
He said: "I was scooping the snow from above me and packing it down below the window, and then I peed on it to melt it. It was hard and now my kidneys and liver hurt. But I'm glad the beer I took on holiday turned out to be useful and I managed to get out of there."
Pronunciation
Being a man of Easter European descent, Mano has retained his ancestral tongue and pronounces certain english vowels and consonants in the Easter European manner. The most common mix-up being: W - pronounced as V and V - pronounced as W
A famous utterance of his is something he said to his son while washing his friend William's Volkswagon; "ooh this is a wery wery good car, I vant one of these. Martin could you get me a sponge to vash Villiam's Wolksvagon? oh and some Wanilla ice-cream"
A strange occurrence took place when Mano asked for Veal at an upperclass restaurant and was kindly informed that the restaurant does not offer tire and auto services.
Origin of the nickname 'Mano'
The name Mano is believed to originate from the Hawaiian word Manô, meaning shark. However, the exact origins are unknown. The word mano itself is spanish and italian for hand and could have a direct correlation to his javelin exploits. He is also believed to have a good rifle hand. Mr. Markovic is also notorious for his ability to drive his car with a maximum of 1 hands at any time, there is great speculation that this is the reason his parents through great use of foresight named him Mano.
Mano's Protesting
In recent times, Mano has taken part in many protests. Most notably, the so-called 'panty protest' against George W. Bush. He was the only person wearing clothes. - In more recent times, as a form of premeditated protest against a man who was besotted with walking his canine in the vicinity of his property, Mano insulted the man and threw a pre-prepared bucket of urine on the man's head and his attire. The man was most offended. He has not walked his dog near Mano's house since this event.
Nota Bene: A lot of information contained in this article is very difficult to verify. This is because of the arson attack on the Slovakian Federal Records office, the German Federal Records Office and the Australian Federal Records office. Coincidentally these are the three locations in which Mano has lived. It is unknown to this day who may have performed these actions.
--User:Editor 08:59, 15 August 2006 (UTC)
