Lyttle Lytton Contest
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The Lyttle Lytton Contest is a diminutive derivative of the Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest, and was first run in the year 2001. Both are tongue-in-cheek contests that take place annually and in which entrants are invited "to compose the opening sentence to the worst of all possible novels."
The Lyttle Lytton Contest (run by Adam Cadre) varies from the Bulwer-Lytton in favouring extremely short first sentences, of 25 words or less.
Winners for each of the past six years are:
- 2006 - "This is the cipher key for all that follows: |||||| || |!" (P. Scott Hamilton)
- 2005 - "John, surfing, said to his mother, surfing beside him, 'How do you like surfing?' " (Eric Davis)
- 2004 - "This is the story of your mom's life." (Rachel Lambert)
- 2003 - "For centuries, man had watched the clouds; now, they were watching him." (Stephen Sachs)
- 2002 - "The pain wouldn't stop, and Vern still had three cats left." (Andrew Davis)
- 2001 - "Turning, I mentally digested all of what you, the reader, are about to find out heartbreakingly." (Top Changwatchai)
In addition to the main contest, others are offered from year to year. The winners of those are:
- Last line contest, 2002 - " 'Lawd a'mighty,' howled Caleb, to the consternation of those few who still remained in the helpless, drifting lifeboat, 'some of y'all are lookin' mighty tasty!' " (Mark Silcox)
- Paul Clifford contest, 2003 - "It was a dark and stormy night; the rain fell in torrents — except at occasional intervals, when it was checked by a violent gust of wind which swept up the streets (for it is in London that our scene lies), rattling along the housetops, and fiercely agitating the scanty flame of the lamps that struggled against the darkness. Steeling himself for battle, Fyandor, the oldest and bravest of the lamps, proclaimed, 'Nay, foul wind, this will not be the night of our extinguishment!' " (anonymous)
- Political speech contest, 2004 - "While my opponents fellate the Satan of special interests, I go down on Reform's compassionate angel." (anonymous)
- Paragraph contest, 2006 - "The evil Intergalactic Emperor surveyed the destruction he wrought. 'Booyah!' he cried with glee. 'I'm in ur base! I'm killing all ur mans!' " (James Wall)
