User:Louis Shum 2

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The following is self-lampoon, for comedic purposes only

[edit] Vital Stats

  • Name: Louis George Shum XII
  • Country of Origin: People's Republic of China
  • Ethnicity: Vulcan/Romulan
  • Date of Birth: Unknown
  • Political Preference: Communism

[edit] Louis Shum

Louis Shum, aka, Double Super Secret Undercover FBI Special Agent Louis, is known to the locals as "The Invisible Dragon", given his Chinese ethnicity and incredible stealth skills. He is also known As 'Lannibal Hecter' and as of 2006, this individual has assumed the form of a 20 year-old human male of Asian ethnicity.

Louis' adoptive parents, originally from mainland China, work in top secret government departments; some speculate Work and Income New Zealand. It is beleived that this individual is the product (or perhaps biproduct) of a Shadow Global Government/Majestic-12 experiment in alien hybrid research and/or nanotechnology. The exact circumstance of his/its creation , or intended purpose, is unknown. Records of the operation have long since been destroyed, but a recent discovery in the province of Hunan, China, has shed some light. In scriptures found in a mountain cave, a mysterious "Mao" talks of a child of "broken insides (sic)", whose "nonsensical ramblings" led men to suicide. This accurate description of Shum leads few Scientists to doubt the authenticity of the writings.

Resulting from Louis' experimental 'birth', his ability to pass off as perfectly human is sometimes not entirely effective, he has been known to exhibit profoundly robotic behaviour including environmental scanning and frequent pauses, suspected to be caused by stack overflows and memory leaks. It is believed that the Louis kernel is frequently updated, though previous models (codename Gloria) are still running legacy versions of the system.

Louis' abilities to blend into the local populations make it difficult to track his movements, but latest intelligence reports place him in the suburb of Cloverlea in Palmerston North. Some claim have seen him training in various other locations, performing commando rolls and practising the various disciplines of martial arts he is known to have expertise in. Some have reported seeing Shum in Massey University grounds, mysteriously ducking between buildings as though he knew he was under surveillance. While it is not clear whether Shum is actually studying at the University, it is agreed by experts that if he was, he would be studying a degree with extreme irrelevance to anything relating to a normal coherant existance.

[edit] Selected Quotes

  • "NOT AN OPTION!!" - Followed by meaningful look
  • "Beam me up Scotty!"
  • "See you in Hell!"
  • "Republican Pig!"
  • "Eat shit and die!"
  • "Does not compute."
  • "Negative!"
  • "Affirmative!"
  • "Shut Down!!" (an ironic and somewhat humerous version of "shut up")


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