Lou and Andy

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Lou Todd & Andy Pipkin
Andy (Matt Lucas) and Lou (David Walliams)
First appearance	Series 1 (first seies appearance)
Statistics
Gender	Males

Lou Todd and Andy Pipkin are fictional characters from the cult BBC TV and radio show Little Britain, played by David Walliams and Matt Lucas respectively. Andy's catchphrases include, "Yeah I know", "I want that one" and "Don't like it", while Lou's catchphrase is "What a kerfuffle!"

Lou is kind, generous and incredibly patient and helps his wheelchair-bound friend Andy. He also appears to have a fetish for the 1970s and early 1980s, judging by his musical taste. He is typically seen wearing an awkward juxtaposition of trainers, blue tracksuit trousers, a T-shirt with slogans such as "I ran the World" or "Frankie Says RELAX - Don't do it" and a heavy, 1970s leather jacket.

Andy is moody, contrary, has no respect for other sentient beings, appears to be unintelligent, had no interest in the outside world and is just plain lazy. He is also dressed mostly in old - fashioned clothing mostly worn by OAPs, presumably because he does not have the funds necessary to buy his own clothes.

Andy will often point at an item (usually in a shop) and demand "I want that one!" without even looking at the item in question. Lou will then remind Andy that he has previously voiced a serious objection to the item under discussion in a way that paints Andy as eloquent and analytical off-screen, a contrast to the mono-syllabic dolt he appears to be in the sketches, (e.g., "I thought you said that, Torvill and Dean's record-breaking performance aside, ice skating is aesthetically bankrupt"). Lou will end up complying with Andy and obtain what he wants. Soon after the item has been purchased, or after the point at which the decision cannot be changed, Andy will say "I don't like it" or something else that makes his original declaration void, much to Lou's annoyance.

What Lou does not know is that Andy is not really disabled and (whenever his back is turned, at least) Andy often gets out of his chair and does spontaneous actions. Andy has water skied, driven a motorbike, parachute jumped, climbed an electricity pylon (and got electrocuted in the process), to retrieve his Frisbee and lifted a car while Lou's back is turned.

The characters of Lou and Andy are derived from a Rock Profile episode featuring fictitious versions of Lou Reed and Andy Warhol. In the second series, Andy's antisocial behaviour is somewhat amplified (previously the main joke had revolved around him choosing something and then claiming he does not want it or wanted something else) with some of his actions displaying a complete disregard for others, for instance, wiping the contents of his nose on the trousers of a passer-by, or stating that he does not like a woman he is blind-dating because "she's in a wheelchair". Lou also uses the term "kerfuffle" to refer to many of Andy's past actions.

A few of the Lou and Andy sketches are set in "his [Andy's] home in Herbie". The name Herbie is derived from the Disney children's film of the same name. The house shots are filmed at the Cranbrook Estate in Bethnal Green. Andy buys the snake in Magri's pets, a real life pet shop and buys a birthday card from a newsagents very close to Victoria Park. That may also be where the park shots are filmed.

Contents 1 Lists 1.1 What Andy has asked for 1.2 His opinions 1.3 What he has done out of his wheelchair 1.4 Other things (childish, rude, or otherwise notable) Andy has done 2 Series three final episode 3 Deleted Scenes 4 Christmas Scenes for Charity 5 In popular culture

[edit] Lists

[edit] What Andy has asked for

• To go to the expensive royal opera house for his birthday. Once there, he shouts "I don't like it!"
• To wear a Smurf costume to dinner at a "nice restaurant" (Lou's words). In the sketch, the restaurant appears to be a Chinese one. Once there, Andy declares that he "Looks a pillock", and asks the waiter for a packet of crisps.
• To have an empty ice cream cone, without any ice cream in it.
• To see Pride & Prejudice instead of the simpler forms of entertainments such as action movies he usually prefers.
• To specifically not go to the toilet before getting into Lou's van,(a rusty white F-reg Ford Escort van) after he drank had four pints of beer in a bar. He needs to go to the toilet as soon as he is in the van.
• To have a snake for a pet, instead of the rabbit Lou thought he wanted.When Lou purchases said snake, Andy says off-camera "I want a rabbit!"
• To take three books out of the library, two identical ones about Chinese history, and one about Chinese language and its origins. He later voids his original, somewhat spurious declaration once out of the library by stating that he "can't read". This would make him illiterate, although he has been seen reading pornographic magazines in Series 3 and an extract from the Bible in series 2.
• To buy a card with the text "With deepest sympathy..." for his brother Declan's birthday instead of the more usual birthday card. Leaving the shop with the card, Andy says "It's his birthday! He's not dead!"
• To go on holiday in Helsinki, Finland ("I wanna go to Helsinki"). despite Lou's collection of colourful brochures, suggestions for other more preferable destinations and Andy's previous statement of not liking Finland. We then see the plane taking off with the voice over, "I wanna go to Florida".
• To have his room painted red from top to bottom, instead of the blue Lou thought he preferred.
• To have a new wheelchair, which he promptly rejects when Lou brings it home by toppling it over.
• To have all his old items, such as books and board games, that he does not use anymore, put on a bonfire and burned up. Of course, once the fire is properly burning, Andy says "I want me stuff back".
• To go to the church dressed as up as a baby Jesus, including crib. Once there, Andy is apparently scheduled to do a reading. He pauses after a few sentences, saying "I look a pillock".
• To go to France, although he previously requested to go to Chessington theme park. The decision made by Andy appears in the sketch to have been made at short notice, probably on the day, as Lou then mutters "Christ of a thousand years". Once in France (this section was adjacent to the Eiffel Tower), he then declares that he "Wanna go Chessington".
• To go on a boat trip on the river Thames, after which he utters "This is boring".
• To have a breast enlargement operation ("Summin' to play with"). On exiting the hospital, he says "I look a pillock".
• To have George Michael as a guest at his birthday party (when George arrives, Andy declares "Don't like him. Prefer Tony Hadley.")
• To order many different forms of Rice from a takeaway menu, only for when the 'mountain' of rice to be delivered, he says "I don't like rice" (Deleted Scene on Series 3 DVD)
• To have a tattoo on his face (a spider's web) only once it's done, he says "I deeply regret my desire" instead of "I don't like it". (Deleted scene on Series 3 DVD.)

[edit] His opinions

• He likes the film Chitty Chitty Bang Bang and Michael Ball, so the two would be an excellent combination.
• Dark chocolate has a bitter edge to it and lacks the oral ecstasy of its milkier cousin.
• Red is the colour of blood and henceforth death.
• Finland has a maudlin quality to it, rendering it unsuitable as a holiday destination.
• Violence is the last bastion of moral cowardice
• The natural world has a sublime beauty, unrivalled by anything man-made.
• Torvill and Dean's Barnum routine aside, ice skating is aesthetically bankrupt.
• The French can never be forgiven for surrendering to the German war machine whilst collaborating with their occupiers to set up the Vichy government.
• The Sea is a dark and brutal force which has dragged many an innocent to a watery grave.
• (talking about George Michael) Jesus To A Child aside, Andy finds his output emotionally vapid.
• The underwater world has a sublime beauty which man kind or its species could scarcely comprehend.
• The only way around London is via its ancient waterways, which is like a pulsating artery through the heart of this historic city.
• Cosmetic enhancement was symptomatic of a sick society which worships the cult of youth and beauty, anyone seeking the quick fix to physical change was left morally wanting.
• (talking about Dogtanian and The Three Muskehounds) Dumas' classic characters and their canine counterparts were decidedly lacklustre.
• The Herbie Town Rugby Club were strong on power, but ultimately lack the agility and finesse to unlock their full potential. (After Lou reminds him of this, he replies "Yeh I know, they're crap.")
• He hates Mcfly despite Lou reminds him that they came and visited him when he was in hospital with a broken thumb.

[edit] What he has done out of his wheelchair

• Taken a dive into a swimming pool, and swum a whole lap.
• Gone to the toilet standing up by himself.
• Ejected a Pride and Prejudice video out of a VCR and inserted a Monster Trucks video.
• Taking a box of chocolates down from a high shelf, out of Andy's reach.
• Stood up and stretched while Lou asks to see if he has to carry Andy up another floor.
• Pulling his trousers up by himself.
• Got out of the new wheelchair Lou bought him, tipped it over and got back into his old one.
• Ran out of a supermarket, with two tins down his trousers and a security guard chasing him.
• Took part in Bruce's The Price is Right (he ran cheering down the audience stairs).
• Got up to assault a group of yobs taunting him.
• Tipped his wheel chair over and lay on the ground to set up Lou's girlfriend as having pushed him.
• Laid his wheelchair on the ground, laid down beside it deliberately, and when Lou asks his Polish date what had happened, Andy promptly replies "She pushed me"
• Climbed a tree (and had to be brought down by firemen), after he tries to retrieve his football stuck on a tree. He then states, when asked by Lou why he is on a tree, "I fell." It is likely that Andy is mentally retarded.
• Took off on horseback when Lou asks the horse's rider for directions.
• Run down the beach and went skinny-dipping in the sea while Lou's back is turned.
• Goes ice skating.
• Tips over a car blocking in their van in a car park.
• Runs down the bowling alley to hit a strike up close.
• Pushes a date he doesn't like (because she is in a wheelchair) down some steps.
• Pole-vaulted then proceeded to do a backflip.
• Climbed into a shark-filled aquarium and gone skin-diving.
• Parachuted from a plane directly into his wheelchair.
• Water-skied on a Thames cruise boat.
• Stolen a policeman's motorbike.
• Climbs up a pylon to retrieve a Frisbee.
• Got up and laid down in wet concrete that Lou was working on (blames it on a bird).
• Stolen the ball during a rugby match and scored.
• Pushed his carer off Beachy Head.
• Stood up in church and walked to the altar where he then steals the collection food for the harvest festival while Lou and everybody else in church have their eyes closed and praying.(Deleted scene on Series 3 DVD)
• While watching Lou play Judo, and hurt his back in a fall, Andy gets up and cripples the Japanese expert. (Deleted scene on Series 3 DVD)

[edit] Other things (childish, rude, or otherwise notable) Andy has done

• Steal an ice cream from a kid when Lou is talking to the kid's mother.
• Trying to steal a woman's handbag.
• Wiping his hands on a woman's legs after sneezing in them.
• Letting Lou park his car into another car by just repeating "Fine!" even when Lou has already hit the other car.
• Insisting on playing the picture game "You Say We Pay" on the TV show Richard & Judy after Lou finally manages to get through the phone queue. He then ignores the hosts' instructions by literally naming the items shown when the aim of the game is to describe the item shown beinhd the hosts (who are facing the camera). If they correctly guess what you are describing you get £1000. Most people winn around £6000. The hosts of the game show then state that he is the only player not to have won anything on the show. He then continues to name things during a commercial break.
• Shouting "Faster! Faster!" when Lou is doing 80mph, causing them to be halted by the police.
• Looking up a woman's skirt while Lou asks her for directions.

[edit] Series three final episode

In the final episode of the series, broadcast on Christmas Eve 2005, the story of Lou and Andy played out over a number of sketches. In the story, Lou's mother has just died so Andy has to go to the Isle of Wight for a few days (to which Andy shows his usual uncaring manner while also watching Balamory),leaving Andy with a temporary carer, Mrs Mead (played by Imelda Staunton). She turns out to be a very strict and religious Irish woman who refuses to let Andy watch TV, forces him to eat stew and fruit, makes him help clean the house, hits his legs with a candlestick holder to make sure he really is disabled (which, since he can walk, really hurts him, although he is able to keep it concealed), sings religious songs loudly and prays.

While out on a long walk near some cliffs (Beachy Head), Mrs Mead begins to talk about how she is going to instil major changes in Andy's life which include Andy cooking, cleaning, looking after himself, stop watching TV, eating healthily and getting a job. Andy finally has enough, rises from his wheelchair and pushes her over the cliff and returns home. Beachy Head being one of the top suicide spots in Britain people will assume that she met the same fate.

Lou finally returns with Andy running to welcome him home, however Andy quickly sits back down realising what he was about to do and then Lou begins to make Andy's dinner. Andy makes out he does not care, but is secretly delighted that Lou has returned and everything is normal again.

Lou and Andy have appeared in every single Little Britain episode to date (including the Comic Relief Special). They did not, however, appear in the show's pilot episode.

[edit] Deleted Scenes

• While in church, Lou takes Andy to the front to donate some food to the harvest festival. However, he picks up a Walnut Whip chocolate, saying "I want a Walnut Whip!". Lou has to take this from Andy and put it back, although Andy continues to grab it, even trying to eat it with the wrapper on. He then takes Andy back to his seat, but as soon as they bow their heads to pray, Andy gets up and steals the chocolate, but then decides to get more by hiding packets of biscuits up his shirt. Upon leaving the church, the vicar thanks Andy for his donation, but then seems confused to see he has stolen food up his shirt. Lou seems oblivious.

• While Lou is playing Judo, Andy is left to watch, and keep Lou's glasses, which he gets grease from his chicken leg over the lenses. As Lou hurts his back in a fall, Andy gets up and smacks the Japanese Judo expert over the head and comes back and sits down.

• Andy insists on having a tattoo of a spiders' web on his face, but decides he doesn't like it.

• Andy orders many portions of rice from a Chinese takeaway menu, but decides he doesn't like rice.

[edit] Christmas Scenes for Charity

In 2005, Lou and Andy presented a show for Children in Need. This saw Andy want to open his Christmas presents early, so Lou let him open one. It was a 2-piece Balamory jigsaw puzzle which Andy claimed he could not do, so threw it away. He then gave Lou his Christmas present...a packet of cigars. Only when Lou tells Andy he doesn't smoke, Andy replies with "Yeh I know, there's none in anyway."

Andy later begs Lou for chocolate from the Christmas tree. Andy threatens to tell social services that Lou had beat him, so Lou relents, and gets a chocolate. Later he wants another one, so gets out of his wheelchair (while Lou is oblivious), and can't reach the last chocolate on the top of the tree. Andy cuts the top off the tree to get the chocolate. When he sits down in his wheel chair, Andy asks Lou to open it, much to the surprise of Lou.

Also, after watching a short film about poor children, Lou is very moved and sad, but Andy remarks that it was boring.

[edit] In popular culture

A Dead Ringers sketch shows a parody of Lou and Andy, with the two replaced by Tony Blair and Gordon Brown respectively. The sketch depicts Brown, in a wheelchair, agreeing to read a speech praising Blair that the latter wrote, but jumping from the wheelchair as soon as Blair had left and reading instead "Blair stinks. Blair is crap. You all know it. Brown for Labour, Brown for Britain, Brown for Prime Minister!" to the House of Commons.